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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/entry_id/662907-What-part-of-Dont-Feed-the-Bears
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Rated: 18+ · Book · Personal · #1196512
Not for the faint of art.
#662907 added August 10, 2009 at 9:24am
Restrictions: None
What part of "Don't Feed the Bears..."
... do you not understand?

http://www.denverpost.com/technology/ci_13023974

The 74-year-old woman — who stocked her backyard with dog food, fruit and yogurt — was found dead outside her home Friday, being eaten by a bear.

I call it bearthanasia.

It's too bad she was too old to win a Darwin award:

The night before her death, Munson planned to feed an injured baby bear hard-boiled eggs and yogurt, another former tenant said. And she had planned to swat a large bear that was bothering the baby bear with a broom.

Leaving aside for a moment the fact that any one of us could have done a better job on that sentence (which, as written, implies that the large bear had a broom with which it was bothering the cub), who the HELL plans to SWING A BROOM at a FUCKING BEAR??!

Seriously.

"That would be horrible for her if she knew what her death had meant to the bears."

Obviously, it meant a midnight snack.

BEARS, people. They will EAT you.



(Added at the suggestion of Silver is 2 to the 5th Power Author Icon *Bigsmile*)

© Copyright 2009 Robert Waltz (UN: cathartes02 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/entry_id/662907-What-part-of-Dont-Feed-the-Bears