Lani's Blog

Just Testing The New Talent

Stacy came into the formula room looking puzzled. She opened the cabinet doors and rummaged through the shelves. I nearly jumped out of my skin when she slammed the last door in frustration. Kathy, my mentor for Newborn Intensive Care (NICU), asked, “What’s wrong?”





“Sandy sent me in here for pigeon’s milk and I can’t find it.”





I started to say something, but Kathy nudged me. “I think we’re out, but it’s on order.”





“Great, now what do I feed the baby?”





“Who is it?”





She told us and Kathy said,” Ah, post surgery baby. That’s why they want the pigeon’s milk.”





“Look, are you pulling my leg? I never heard of pigeon’s milk.”





“Are you kidding? Everyone knows about pigeon’s milk. It’s easy for the preemies to digest. Its’ 30-40 calorie an ounce and it’s got those easy to digest medium chain fatty acids for brain development.” Kathy took on the persona of a cross between a used car salesman and a sideshow carney. “Look it up. You’re going to look stupid when it comes in tomorrow.”





Stacy left the formula room more befuddled than when she entered. I turned to Kathy.





“What was that all about?”





“What kind of fool lives on this earth 22 years and doesn’t know that birds lay eggs? Just testing the new talent.”





We walked back to our baby’s isolette.





“Just testing the new talent, huh.  Are you going to pull something like that on me?”





“Of course not. You’ve been a nurse, what 5-6 years, right.”





“Yeah, but adult Medical-Surgical and NICU are two different worlds.”





“Not that different. There’s Dr. Armstrong. Ask him if we can wean (turn down) baby Smith’s oxygen to 18 percent.”





“Sure.”





I walk over to the resident and started to ask my question, when I realized what I was about to ask. Ventilators don’t go below 21 percent, because that is what we breathe in normal air.





I glared at Kathy as I walked back to her.





She smiled, “Just testing the new talent."








This story is true sort of. The pigeon's milk story was told to me third hand. I changed the names and circumstances to protect the silly. The 18 percent story is mine. I'm not sure I want to share the one where they "got" me.