A cracking life

The Interview.

I wasn't looking forward to it any way. I had worked there before and had left after only 3 months, just before I moved to France. It was a chaotic place and I thought it was probably only a matter of time before a child died; none have as a result of negligence, as far as I am aware. Nothing had changed. When I arrived I was greeted by the two team managers. One of them introduced herself to me and then told me that they did not have a room to interview me in. Then she told me that she wanted to give me a case study but could not find it. The other TM rummaged around in her papers and came up with said case study. TM 1 led me down a corridor, TM 2 said she would be along in a minute. When we arrived TM1 asked:
"Did I introduce myself to you?" I told her she had. I wondered if she could remember her own name. We went into the room. She rummaged about in god knows what and then told me she didn't have the case study. We were in a part of the building called The Dungeon on account it was in the bowels of the Town Hall. Usual scenario: peeling walls; electrical faults; broken chairs; dippy managers...

It took a further 10 minutes for her to ring around in order to locate the case study, eventually it arrived with TM2. TM2 had her eyebrow pierced with a huge black bent arrow. I reckon it was all wrong for work; call me old fashioned. I mean I am not against piercings, I have 3 in each ear, one in my belly and my eyebrow done as well, but there are times and places and ages... it wasn't the time, it wasn't the place and there comes a point in one's life when one accepts the ageing process with a certain amount of awareness of how one looks when trying to retain youth, I Know!

They gave me the case study and told me I had 15 minutes and on their return they would ask me to talk it through. They left. I read the case study. It was exactly the same one I had written about 8 months before. The question was about a boy called Michael and I was to explain how I would assess his needs and what legislation I would use. Literally the same shit, different day! I wrote 2 pages and completed it in 10 minutes. 20 minutes passed and then 30 and then 40. Finally TM extraordinaires returned. The first thing they did was to take the case study off me., then give it back. Black Arrow was OK but 'What's my name' probably needed to stay off the ajax. She said to me: "I'd like you tell me about the case study and talk us through your care plan and how came up with it". Balck Arrow stared straight ahead. I replied that I had not been asked to do a care plan but assess the boy's needs. She said "Oh well, just think of one" and whipped the case study away again. I went through a case. I talked to her about children who were on the register because of their parents' Domestic Violence. When I had finished she said 'but you're not the case worker'. I said 'no', thinking what the hell difference does that make. Black Arrow was giving me long stares and looking apologetic. What's My Name gave the case study back and asked Black Arrow what she wanted to do. They couldn't decide. In the end they left the interview and went out into the corridor to whisper!

When they came back they carried on asking me questions as if there had been no 40 minute wait, no 10 minute interruption, no loss of case study, no lack of suitable room. At the end they asked when i could start.. If I Was Appointable! I said 2 months.. I Am Not Desperate.

The following morning the recruitment bloke rang me. He said the feedback was positive.... 'Which end you looking at?' I thought. I said I didn't want to work there. He said 'they're offering you alot of money'. I thought they'd be better getting a new manager instead. Just remember people: these are the people you are paying for out of your taxes to protect children in your community.