Work in Progress

The Plank: Temptation, Focus, and (ick) Sweat Angels

Sadly, this entry is not about pirates no matter how badly I may lust after Captain Jack Sparrow. It's about my current training goal - to hold the plank pose for two minutes. For those who don't know, plank is a held posture balancing the body on forearms and toes, elongating the body as much as possible. It sounds and looks simple. It's not. It kind of sucks, especially when you do it in the middle of your workout when your muscles are already screaming at you and you're sweating like a pig.

I'm battling with plank at the moment. My goal is to hold it for two full minutes. The longest I've done is a minute and thirty seconds (pretty good!), but when I'm already fatigued I have not been able to hold it for long. I feel shaky and nauseous and I slide around on the mat in my puddle of sweat (charming picture, ain't it?) The more April tells me I can do it, the less I believe it and then...I give up. I collapse onto the mat in a pile of sweaty goo. I'm still working on why that's happening, but I know it's all completely mental. I'm simply having trouble believing that my worn out muscles could possibly support my flabby body for any length of time. I need to reset this belief but I'm not quite there yet. I did, in the end, hold it for 45 seconds last night. Not a stellar performance, but I was able to set that goal and to regain my focus. That is progress.

I think the honeymoon phase is over. I've dieted too many times to count over the years and, at the beginning it's easy to stay focused and motivated. It gets harder, the changes aren't quite as noticeable, the diet starts to feel a little blah and it becomes tempting to just give up. I'm not giving up. I'm going to keep moving, try some new things, allow myself the occasional treat. I haven't been doing too much of that so far. It's time to find a little bit of balance in my diet - to trust myself to have the occasional splurge without getting too far off track.

Over the weekend I went out to lunch. I intended to have a nice salad or a healthy wrap. I ended up eating an entire gooey, greasy turkey reuben. (I tried to eat just half but. damn it, the waitress took too long to come back to take my plate. Yes, I know, I'm trying to subtly shift the blame. It was me. I ate it. I admit it. Let's move on.) I did have a side salad with it, instead of chips, and I only ate about five of the crispy french fries that my nieces insisted on. But I felt uncomfortably full when I was done and I felt terrible the next day - bloated and guilty. Now that the bloating has dissipated, I've forgiven myself for that misstep. On a positve note, even though I felt really crappy, I went to the gym and did cardio and weights. Guess what? I felt better when I was done, like I had balanced things out a little bit.

Last night's workout was rough. April increased the weight on my lower body circuit and it was a tough adjustment. I felt a little off-kilter at times and I was having a really tough time staying focused and present. I don't like the way that felt. I want my intensity and my focus back, damn it! I could blame it on a number of things - feeling a little drained from the humidity, PMS, allergies - but I know that those are just excuses. I need to push past those things and get back to where I want to be. I'm on my own with my weight routine on Thursday so I intend to really push myself. I will report back here with the results on Thursday night or Friday morning.

Tonight I am amping up my cardio routine. April wants me to increase my time to forty-five minutes. This is going to be a challenge, but I will break it into three fifteen minute blocks. For some reason, that makes it feel a little less daunting. I expect it to be difficult, but I believe I can do it. I'm also planning to work on my plank - first thing and at the end. I need to push myself on this one. I will get past this block. I know that when I do I will be very proud of myself.

Now - the gross part. I was doing some stretches on the mats last night and when I got up, I left behind a perfect little sweat angel, just like the ones we all do in snow, just a little grosser. (Admit it, no matter how old you are, when it snows you still want to fall back into it and make one.) It gave me a laugh in the middle of a challenging night, so I had to include it. And don't worry, I did clean the mat when I was done!

I guess that's it for now. I'm over the issues I was having last night and on the weekend. Time to push on, to regain my momentum, to blast this infernal wall out of my way.