Life as we know it sucks

........

Current Mood: confused and sad

Current Music: none

So, it's weird to say, but Byron was at my house a couple of weeks ago. I've enlisted him to put up my fence for when I get another dog (my baby passed a couple of months ago RIP). It was odd having him here. I gave him directions to my house so he could come and we could discuss the fencing idea. As soon as he pulled into my driveway, I was freaking out! It was unnerving. We talked about the fence and the basement door for a while (because he's also going to replace that).

For some reason we got on the subject of my supposed fast driving. He was like, "Don't think I didn't see you whip past me this morning as I was on my way to the dump with my mattress!" It was weird because I actually did notice him, I just didn't say anything. I wanted to look not quite as obsessed as I am. Not sure if it worked. It's hard to play dumb around him. Anyway, a little bit later he was asking if I got a lunch break at work so he could show me this type of fence down the road. I was being sarcastic and saying how the new boss is such a slave driver. Haha. He in turn said, "Didn't really seem like that to me this morning when you were strolling outside of the bank." I just felt stunned after that. He is as aware of me as I am of him. I don't get it. Why is he?

I'm confused. And quite possibly getting into dangerous territory.

I did go see that fence one Saturday after work - he drove to it and we talked about it and what not. Anyway, we came back to the parking lot and sat there...for over 2 hours! We just talked and talked. About everything. For instance, he's married - but separated. He was so candid with me. He didn't seem to want to stop talking. It was lovely. I don't know what to think. I don't feel like I could ever be with him or love him...but I can't stop thinking about him. :(