RANDOM ACCESS

READING BETWEEN THE LINES DANCE

I recently started line dance lessons.  Sometimes a blast; sometimes a bore.  Depends on the tune and the steps - somewhere between lame and awesome.

That's the problem with being a "beginner" - ya have to work through the boring stuff before the cool stuff is attainable.

There is nothing sweeter than the sound of synchronized boot heels stompin' on a wood dance floor. In unison.
Unless it's the hoots and hollers at certain key points throughout the performance.  And watching the ballgame hovering over us on a giant TV screen.

As for my current range of apparel, it is passable, but not ideal.

My too-large pumps need to be replaced by a comfortable western boot (oxymoron?) and I might even buy a western belt with a big frickin' buckle. If so, I will be the first and only Jew to dress in this manner.

My other option is to wear short shorts, a too-small tank top and hot kickin' boots.  That seemed to be all the rage tonight.  But my acquaintance Margaret and her friend Julia just wore normal street clothes with "jazz sneakers" that can be bought at a dance apparel store.  I will certainly consider that option in footwear.

Regarding my overall outfit (no, I am not wearing overalls), you can help me out here by picturing Ray Barone's mother on "Everybody Loves Raymond". What would she look best wearing for line dance class?  Well I would need to wear whatever would look best on Marie Barone.

My first dance class did not end well, since I began drinking after we learned our first few steps. That meant that dance numbers 2 and 3 were pretty much a complete loss for me.

One problem with my execution of these western dance steps is that I dance with too much soul.

The gals on the dance floor are, for the most part, completely expressionless.  And their dancing style is, shall we say, very "white bread" - which I find rather depressing.

I need to find an African-American country line dance class.  That would be the ideal combination for me.

Right now, I am going back to check out YouTube for videos of the dances I failed at this evening.  Perhaps that will help me for my next class.

I am fairly certain I have not been banned from any of these country joints so far.  They have only gone so far as to ask me NOT to invite my friends.

I don't think I should take offense at that - should I?

~J