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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/entry_id/653855-Mixed-Bag
Rated: 18+ · Book · Personal · #1196512
Not for the faint of art.
#653855 added June 9, 2009 at 8:06pm
Restrictions: None
Mixed Bag
So sometimes the funniest things come from links. It's not like I'm getting paid for providing the public service of making y'all laugh.

Here's an article about genetically engineered mosquitoes. Mosquitoes that are engineered to be malaria carriers. Super malaria carriers. In an effort to STOP malaria.

http://www.askmen.com/money/money-news/31_the-upside-of-malaria.html

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Think your job's tedious? Try beheading 100 mosquitoes an hour.

Gently, no smushing allowed. Malaria parasites lurk in these mosquitoes' salivary glands, and a small company on the outskirts of the nation's capital needs them unharmed for a dramatic test -- attempting the first live vaccine to fight malaria.


Holy Shit, don't these people read science fiction? In what bizarro universe is it a good idea to genetically engineer malaria-carrying mosquitos?

There's only one solution: Stock up on tonic. And gin.

(Tonic water is supposed to protect against malaria, though the stuff sold on the shelves now probably doesn't have enough quinine to work properly. Still, you have to wonder about a drink that, in order to make it taste better, you have to add gin. Don't get me wrong; I love gin. But I'm almost alone in that.)


Now, here's the cool thing about the internet. Whatever question you have, someone somewhere has an answer to it. It's not always the right answer, and it helps to have a healthy dose of smarts and skepticism, but here's the answer to, "Gee, I wonder if it would be possible to drive from North America to South America?"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Darien_Gap

Basically: No. And not just because the part between the US and Brazil is infested with guerrillas, peach-sized spiders and tourists.

The Darién Gap is a large swath of undeveloped swampland and forest separating Panama (Central America) and Colombia (South America). It measures just over 160 km (99 mi) long and about 50 km (31 mi) wide. It is not possible to cross between South America and Central America by land without passing through the Darién Gap. Roadbuilding through this area is expensive, and the environmental toll is steep. Political consensus in favor of road construction has not emerged. There is no existing road connection through the Darién Gap connecting North/Central America with South America. It is therefore the missing link of the Pan-American Highway.


Back on the comedy, here's more proof that the customer is almost NEVER right.

http://notalwaysright.com/third-times-not-a-charm/2065


And finally, someone shows graphically what I've been thinking:

http://graphjam.com/2009/06/09/song-chart-memes-fear/

And really, 'nuff said.

© Copyright 2009 Robert Waltz (UN: cathartes02 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/entry_id/653855-Mixed-Bag