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Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/entry_id/653483-Stuff
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Rated: 18+ · Book · Personal · #1196512
Not for the faint of art.
#653483 added June 6, 2009 at 11:09pm
Restrictions: None
Stuff
I used to say (before saying such things was guaranteed to get you on a List somewhere) that there are very few personal problems that cannot be solved with a suitable application of high explosives.

Well, some people might want to go the cheaper route:

http://www.evtv1.com/player.aspx?itemnum=1037

Of course, using that product as directed might get one in some legal trouble. Could be worth it, though, especially for the door-to-door evangelists.

Speaking of legal trouble,

http://www.loweringthebar.net/2009/06/reasonable-consumer-would-know-crunchberri...

On May 21, a judge of the U.S. District Court for the Eastern District of California dismissed a complaint filed by a woman who said she had purchased "Cap'n Crunch with Crunchberries" because she believed "crunchberries" were real fruit. The plaintiff, Janine Sugawara, alleged that she had only recently learned to her dismay that said "berries" were in fact simply brightly-colored cereal balls, and that although the product did contain some strawberry fruit concentrate, it was not otherwise redeemed by fruit.

Wow, ya THINK?

Oh, and while we're on the subject of thinking, here's a guy who didn't quite think his cunning plan all the way through.

http://abcnews.go.com/Politics/story?id=7772961&page=1

Murray told the teller during that visit, the complaint stated, "We are 94 million miles from the sun, and are in-between the sun and moon, and the eagle that flies between them, and it's a giant step for mankind. ... I have traveled thousands of miles to be here and know things that are going to happen. ... The banking system will fail and people will die. ... There will be chaos in the world."

It's 93 million miles, idiot. Geeze, if you're going to go on a psychopathic rant and threat spree, at least get your scientific facts right.

But wait, here's the scary part:

"This is one of a gazillion cases, " the spokesman told ABC News. "It's not that out of the ordinary. We see this day in and day out."

A gazillion? How many bazillions is that?

And I just want to leave y'all today with this: A literal interpretation of Meat Loaf's "Anything For Love" video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HTPko-aXvJM

Seriously. Crank up the speakers and watch.

Oh yeah!

© Copyright 2009 Robert Waltz (UN: cathartes02 at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Robert Waltz has granted Writing.Com, its affiliates and its syndicates non-exclusive rights to display this work.
Printed from https://writing.com/main/books/entry_id/653483-Stuff