The Five Strands of A Sedentary Empress

Potent Potables

Everything is affecting me in a ridiculously amplified sort of way. I cried yesterday over the Air France jet that was swallowed by the Atlantic. Well, more precisely, I cried when I learned there were seven children and one baby aboard. These things just shouldn't happen, but then you already know that. I was in bed for most of the morning with an inexplicable fatigue, could barely open my eyes from it, and opted not to go to class, sending off a quick 'I'm not coming' to my teacher by email. I don't care much if it annoyed him. I've been a fairly diligent student so far, and I wasn't interested in going. It would have meant walking in the cold, which in June seems unjustifiable. It would have meant small talk with my elderly desk partner, the one who can't manage to finish a single assignment in the two hour time frame despite very detailed instructions. He's sweet but it's clear he doesn't catch on quickly. I could not explain what I was feeling, a mix of heart flutters and nausea mixed with intense sleepiness, so I stayed quiet and my face wore misery. M. still blames it on the lack of food, but I've been doing better in that regard. I think it's hormones mixed with stress and that I'll eventually get past it. I hope.

This did not stop me from getting into a spirited debate with A. when she called. I mentioned my frustration and anger about the way we are manipulated by people who claim they are artists, because it's still on my mind and I'm still annoyed by it, and she decided to get combative with me about it, somehow meandering into the realm of 'Twilight'. She would never admit to it, but it really scratches her insecurity that I seem to be completely disinterested in the Twilight franchise. I think she believes that I am looking down on her for it, though I've never said as much. Sure, the Twi-hards totally confuse me, mostly because I don't understand that level of fanaticism, and the minivan set who have decided they're in love with the guy who plays the vampire also make me laugh, because it's...weird. Still, I don't say much, and mostly giggle dismissively when she brings it up, citing 'True Blood' as my only vampiric vice. For some reason, she decided to go off on 'American Idol', because I'd told her that I watched it with my wee one as there was good little else for the two of us to watch together at night. Would I categorize myself as a fan of the show? No, not a fan, but I have to admit there were some decent competitors this time around. My taste in music doesn't jive with the mainstream flavour of the show, but, the talent of the participants was basically obvious. She tried to tell me that the show is 'psychologically damaging to children', that it needs to have a PG rating because of the competitive nature of the program and that small children have extreme reactions to who wins or who is kicked off. I believe I had a 'wtf' moment with her then.

So, basically what you're saying is that there should be no competition at all? That even sporting events should be a PG affair? Kindly get over yourself. You're just being difficult because it suits you at the moment.

Which she denied, after which she went on and on about how 'lame' Idol is. Excuse me, I'd said, but why do you think I care about American Idol? Truth is that it's a talent competition, just like Star Search was. What distinguishes it from other shows that showcase unpolished talent is that the public gets to vote on it, and very often they choose the lesser talented of the bunch, but this goes to show that people are into popularity moreso than actual talent. Do I care about it, personally? Not much. It was a show I could watch with my girl and it didn't involve Treehouse. For that, I was grateful.

But, I know she feels stupid for loving Twilight so much, and thinks I think of her as some kind of pathetic housewife for being drawn to it, so she attacked me in the place she thought I was the most vulnerable. Unfortunately for her, I not only don't care much, but her weird and desperate arguments only strengthened my previous position that Twi-Hards are a weirdly defensive bunch. I had an opinion about who should have won in Idol, sure, like millions of other people, but I got over it about five minutes after the show was done. I have other stuff to do, like how I decided to send her a Youtube link to this weird Scottish girl who recorded herself reacting to the Twilight trailer. I almost peed my pants laughing at this poor unfortunate, this mountain of a girl who could barely contain herself while watching a two minute preview. A. responded by sending me an acidic email. I have to share.

There are hundreds of youtube clips of people freaking out about idol too.

Parental guidance is needed. Reactions of kids watching idol are from diaper age up.

Self worth is the biggest issue plaguing our society. Are we truly defined by others? Is your talent left up to the masses to vote on? If that's what you want out of life go for it. I define my self worth.

Humiliation is a huge part of this show. On a global scale. Is that something you want your kids to learn?

More people google Britney Spears than Ben Franklin. These idol winners and pop stars are childrens idols.

All ai does is prove you can sing and you got lucky and won.

That's part of it. It ended with her telling me that her eighteen-year-old sons agreed with her (?), like that was supposed to make me even more wrong. Let me repeat myself, I don't have any real allegiance to American Idol. I don't care if it ever comes back on again. I was in a bad mood, I saw a video that made me smile, and I sent to her as a joke. I am beginning to wonder if there is something wrong with her, seriously. The thing is, if people enjoy reading 'Twilight', I'm more than okay with that. It was written for teenaged girls, but then 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' was written for children and I still love that book. Anyway, I sent her a responding email basically telling her to calm down, to understand that the link was my attempt at humour, and that fanaticism is as human as it is scary. Like that.

But, it bothered me, because little things tend to do that, and then I went downstairs to put the wash into the dryer and saw something horrible at the bottom of the basement steps: is that...? could that be...? Yes, it appears to be a tail. Seems the mouse had not left the house, though it did 'leave the building'. I flew upstairs feeling sick and asked M. to play coroner. He went down the steps and confirmed that yes, the mouse had been summarily relieved of bodily fluids and most of it's body parts. I swear, I nearly went down in a pile. I got clammy and nauseous, thinking about which cat could have done it, which furry little savage would I be ostracizing from the foot of the bed tonight. M. went C.S.I, after cleaning up what remained, and decided it was a joint effort, with Bondi going for the kill and Flynn eating what was procured for him. Even typing that out is making me woozy. I can barely look at the murderers, though as I type, the fatter, fuller of the two is watching me with one eye open. It is oddly unnerving, and I am getting very unsettling images of cat ladies dying in a house full of these fluffy, carnivorous beasts, becoming a buffet of sorts. I may not get a cat when I'm old, that's how much I'm bothered by this.

Plane crashes, gallstones, lack of money, vengeful Twi-Hards, corporate manipulations, and mouse murder. Mix it in a glass with a jigger of P.M.S and some ice.

I call it a 'Don't Get Out of Bed, The Whole World Sucks' on the rocks.

Trouble is, there isn't a glass big enough.