Out of the Ashes...

Silly Ramblings - but only on TWO subjects

LOL! My will-be-a-teen-too-soon son has done it again.

So, I’m at work, right? Just coming off of one of those maddingly LONG Wal-mart lunches, and I decide to give my li’l doppleganger a call.

“You ready for our movie tomorrow?” I ask.

“I thought that was today!” he exclaims.

“Um, no. Love to, but I’m working. It’s tomorrow.”

“I know, dad. Just kidding.”

Ooooooo... Little crud. He’s getting much better at that.

“Well?” I ask while looking at my watch.

“Well, dad, it’s Sunday. Is that ALL we’re doing?”

His tone conveyed an actual desire to do nothing else but the movie. WTF??

“Um, sure. You have somewhere else to go or something, stranded one?”

“I want to spend time with my mom. It’s Mother’s Day, after all.”

At this point, I closed my eyes and let out a long sigh.

“Yeah,” I said trying to stifle a chuckle. “If you want to, that’s all we’ll do.”

Barb said nothing about spending time with him, which I specifically asked her. Apparently, HE thought of that. Ya gotta give him credit. So, okay, no problem. We’ll go up-, see the film, then right back to his mom so he can cater to her every whim.

Honestly, the kid REALLY has no idea for what he’s volunteering. Barb WILL enslave him, especially if he’s willing...and a captive out on that farm. *shrug* Oh, well. At least he’ll have company. Donnell will be there, too.

Me? I get to make ONE phone call - to my ma. That’s it. After that, I’m FREE, BABY!! *snicker*

So, I hung up, and then went back to work.

Speaking of, I swear to GOD the largest retailer is way too nice. No kidding. We have no less than TWO really lazy workers in our department. Ironically, as the newbie, I get to work with them quite a bit (so to speak). That is, I get to serve time with them. Usually, I end up working without them anywhere in sight. They do a couple things ... then off they go wherever, not to be seen for two, three, sometimes four hours.

One of them, a young 20-something woman, is THE most negative person I’ve ever known. I kid you not. I’m 42, and have known some real downer types, man. But this chick? Takes the prize. I actually thought for DAYS, back over the decades, to see if I could dig up ONE other who would be a match for this one. Nope... Always complaining, even about doing things she has been DEMANDING to do. Never EVER a nice thing to say about anyone.

So, I got some advice from a 19 year old co-worker (he’s pretty cool and seems a few years older than he is).

“What I did,” he said, “was piss her off somehow. Not sure how I did it, but I did. Now, she never talks to me. It’s heaven.”

That might be good advice, honestly, ‘cause this one really has me wanting to eat a bullet sometimes. Really, she does. Shakespeare MUST have looked into the future, saw her through the crystal ball, and came up with the idea for Taming of the Shrew. Thing is, if that DID happen, Ol’ Willie made said Shrew NICE compared to this one. OY!

Day One, I kid you not, she assaulted me with all kinds of info I really didn’t need. Personal info - you know - the kind designed to get me thinking bad about people I hadn’t even met yet. That kind. She also told me right off “I’m the kind you either love or hate. There is no middle ground.” I have yet to meet anyone who loves her.

Anyway, she’s one. When I work with her, she might as well not be there.

The same goes for one other in that department. Guy named Tony. Big black guy, doesn’t smell like he washes his clothes or bathes/showers regularly. Thankfully, nasal cavities deaden to such things real fast, so it’s all good after about - oh - ten minutes. Until that time, I simply endure.

He’s not around much, either. Even less than the woman mentioned above. He’ll show up for work, clock in, and go...somewhere...for an hour or two. Then he takes his “break.” He shows for an hour or so, then goes to the hour lunch. Clocks back in from lunch...repeat process. If he says “I’m going to the bathroom,” I’ve learned that that’s code for “be back in about three hours.” That’s NOT an exaggeration.

Well, I had the best and worst of both tonight. The best came when I was assigned the later shift (afternoon to 10 PM...MY hours, yeah!), and the woman was NOT going to be there. She usually works that shift, so I had been figuring out things like...how to look like I’m listening to her inanity while digging a hole in which to bury my head and MAYBE stop breathing for awhile. She wasn't there, so I didn’t have to put such a desperate plan of escape into play.

But Tony was there...sort of. True to his seeming nature, he disappeared for awhile. When the supervisor and another GOOD co-worker left for the day, he showed up to do...I have no idea. I know dang sure he didn’t help stock the shelves or straighten/clean the backroom. He was just...there. Then he left. Bathroom, break, AND lunch at one time. Also not an exaggeration. I continued to work, doing with one body (mine) what should be done with two (mine and his). About two hours after he left, I took MY break. I went out to self-medicate (and hopefully to piss of the anti-smoking nuts as well as help destroy the universe with my second hand smoke)...and there he was. STILL on break...or lunch...whatever. I sat next to him, acted as if I didn’t care (I actually didn’t which I’ll explain in a couple minutes), and enjoyed my beloved cancer-causing drug-in-a-stick. He was on the phone the whole time...until...the store manager and his second showed up to also poison themselves and the world around them. Ahhhh... The bosses kill others slowly, too. NICE!

That’s when Tony “went back to work.” Uh-huh... Where, I dunno, but apparently he did. *rolls eyes*

So, I return from my break, again he ain’t around. Two and a half hours later I went on lunch. An hour and that call to my clone later, I returned. Suddenly, Tony shows up saying he’s been allowed to go home because he ain’t feelin’ too good. *awwwwwww* He asked if I needed anything before he left. I had him fill the potato racks (heavy stuff, those dang bags. So he did, then left.

So, basically, the entire shift, I worked everything myself (save for those potato racks. Sucker...) *snicker*

I must remind you, it was a VERY busy Saturday afternoon/night. Did I keep up with stuff? Mostly, but SOME things went empty. We have this banana stand thingy that is HARD to empty out. Because there was no one else working that department with me...it was empty twice.

Dang, people eat a LOT of bananas, ya know?

I got most everything done...MOST. Not all. That sucked. I seriously considered staying an extra hour just to get everything squared away. I decided against it. Why? Because I’m a selfish male tool. Making just over $8/hour, doing the work of two, maybe three, by myself all night. Screw the extra hour.

Bottom line, though, is that I actually ENJOYED having too much that I could handle. During our “let’s help kill everyone in the world” smoke break, I actually spoke to the managers (without picking on them this time - no really, I do). They asked how things were going, I gave them a mostly glowing report. I mentioned a couple lazy types, no names, but they knew about to whom I was referring. The store manager actually said something like “we could do something about that.” I thought about that, then asked him NOT to. Here’s why and told him thus:

“Honestly, Brian, as irritating as that can be at times, it’s something I don’t think should change. You see, man, I hate having very little to do at ANY time. I’m happiest when busy, bottom line. If I have another working with me who’s not doing the gig, then that’s more for me to do. And that, bossman, allows time to slip away a lot quicker. Plus, Chris, you’re second here, doesn’t get picked on if I’m busy.”

They laughed, they agreed - somewhat. And that is a true thing for me. If someone’s being lazy, it’s more for me to do. For a job that frequently has more downtime than I like, that’s a GOOD thing.

I get along with Tony, though, so I really don’t care if Wal-mart’s paying him while allowing him to do...whatever he does. He’s not at all negative, jokes around a little, and is pretty nice all around. Miss Downer...the other one...the super-negative, narcissistic one...needs to go, however. Even when busy, I hate working around her. One day, I might snap and just say something short but mean. Piss her off so she leaves me alone. My very young co-worker with that advice is a smart man-boy. *taps temple*

I’m warming up for that, too. I try out possible snarky lines on my supervisor (a really really neat person, she is - but only because she thinks I’m funny). One in particular seemed to evoke howls of laughter...from everyone (other than the intended target).

“Ya know,” I said aloud. “Whatever man marries that woman WILL end up eating a bullet. Heck, I love life, and I know dang well if I got stupid enough to take up with her I’d be a goner within a week - tops.”

Something like that just MIGHT piss Miss Downer off enough to remain far away from me whenever possible. It might generate an official complaint, but since the bosses already know how she is it’d be a mere formality I could live with.

Other than those rather touchy things...and the low pay, of course...I actually like the gig.

So anyway, I’ve rambled long enough. I really must complete my nighttime routine *snicker* and then turn in to prepare for some exciting Star Trek time tomorrow. Oh, and that little boy, too - what’s his name again?

PS - Tor, DUDE! I had no idea you were one of us geeky types. OUTSTANDING! If you like, I can review the thing for ya, without spoilers, and let you know if you might like it. A good rule of thumb, Texan-transplant: if I like it, you WILL like it. Got it? *wink*