.:Dreams and Swords:.

The Unraveling

Soooo...

My little world is unraveling at the seams in nice, tiny sections, ending in a small pile of threads at the tips of my feet. In moments like this you can only look down and stare with "huh?" written all over your face. And like a elegantly prepared stew, all the ingredients better known as emotions take a while to boil together, mixing until all the heat seems to overflow from the top.

This is the part where the "huh" turns into a scream.

I haven't screamed yet, but the feeling is there at the base of lungs. What's been building has been under the burner for close to a week now. Harsh in execution, sure. But you have to admire the simplicity of the situation and the rightness of the timing. My emotional skin is still raw and the little girl inside me is still hiding in the bathtub, behind the shower curtain (long story). Still, it is time to take control, become proactive, right the course, and all that jazz. I'm not necessarily overjoyed at the prospect, but I know it is the right thing to do for the sake of all involved.

Personally, I don't much care for sanity at the moment. Being rational and calm and understanding doesn't seem to have the same effect I'm searching. And, yet...the practical rational part of my personality is in full swing. Much of this is due to my best friend and love. He doesn't try to placate me, he simply runs with my thoughts and finds the funny/odd/weirdness in the situation to make me reach center again. Awesome man, my guy.

In the end the world has to change, even mine, especially when I don't want it to. I'm happy to say I was comfortable with my life, but things need to change before the world explodes instead of unravels. Picture a leg swelling to a point where the doctor cuts into the skin to release the pressure so it doesn't burst. Both painful processes, but one saves the leg while the other leaves on tatters of what was.

Can you feel the love?