A Case for Super Powers

Zack Snyder, you are entering a world of pain.

Anybody who knows me knows that I am not one of those kinds of people that immediately pooh-poohs any remake, adaptation, or any decision going in to one. I withhold judgement until seeing the product. But there is one thing that always irritates me.

Prologue:

As you may or may not know (what a completely useless and meaningless phrase), the movie version of the comic book Watchmen is due out next month. I for one am extremely excited. I can't wait. Now, to the gripes.

Anybody who has read the book may remember that one of the chapters ends with a quote from a Bob Dylan song, "Desolation Row". I have said from the very beginning that if I were the director, I would put the song on the soundtrack, and even time it so that the line in question plays right when it would in the book.

I should have been more specific.

Indeed, "Desolation Row" IS going to be on the soundtrack to the movie.

Covered by My Chemical Romance.

Now, God only knows why Zack Snyder didn't want to use the original version. If my memory serves me, that part of the book was set in the right time period that it would make sense, and it's not like Bob Dylan is fucking Led Zeppelin or something...he's always cool with people using his songs. And it's not like it's a bad song. It's an awesome song. It's fucking BOB DYLAN!! The only thing I can figure is that he didn't think the original would play with "young people today". Fuck that. I feel confident in saying that readers of the comic would prefer the original, and anybody who is watching the movie that have never read the comic...well, they can just deal with it, and learn to love Dylan.

I don't understand this trend of putting covers of great songs on films, especially adaptations and remakes. Why, because it's a new version of the movie, you need a new version of the song? I don't get it. What's wrong with the original?

But if Zack Snyder...for whatever reason...didn't want to use the original version of the song...why My Chemical Romance? I'm not judging My Chemical Romance. I watched the video for their Desolation Row cover, and so far that makes a grand total of...one My Chemical Romance song I've ever heard. They may be good. I don't know. It's irrelevant, because getting them to cover Bob Dylan is like getting KISS to cover Bobby Darin. It's just all wrong. From what I could see of their style, My Chemical Romance could make a serviceable cover of, say, The Ramones. But the great thing about Bob Dylan is his lyrics. They are, literally, poetry. You must be able to appreciate the lyrics. That is, after all, the entire reason Alan Moore included the line in the book. When I watched the video for MCR's cover, the music was this loud, pounding, driving music, which wasn't terrible, but it wasn't Bob Dylan's music...and the real tragedy of it is that the music completely drowned out the lyrics. I couldn't hear a single goddamn lyric. You can't hear Dylan's lyrics, and the music sure as hell doesn't sound like Dylan's, so...it's not even the same song. If you absolutely must get someone young and "hip" to cover Dylan's song, at least get someone who fits his style.

Also, let us not forget, Dude, let us NOT forget...MCR is popular with teenagers. That is to say, people who are TOO FUCKING YOUNG TO SEE R-RATED MOVIES.

I'm not saying that it ruins the movie for me. I'm still going to see the movie, and I'm still withholding judgement until seeing the movie. After all, who knows? Maybe the real song is in the movie, and the cover is just over the credits. But what I WILL say, is that all along, I've said that I wish Terry Gilliam didn't pass on the project. I do think he would have made a better director for it. And he would have included the real fucking song.