Julia

Chapter Eleven

When Eric awoke, it was late in the day. “Why did she let me sleep like that?” He moaned to himself, wondering why Julia had not woken him up. It was her habit to do so when he accidentally overslept. He could not believe all the chores he had missed. Was Julia even up? Maybe she had slept in herself. He found that hard to believe as well. No matter how tired she was, she was always up before him. Her work ethic was fantastic. That was one reason why they had made such a good team.

Eric’s head was throbbing. This stress was going to kill him if he did not get over her. He thought about the previous night and all she had done to him. No, getting over it would not be a big deal. He could handle it. He had handled it before. “I’m not going to chase a girl who won’t have me. I’ll get over it; I’m bigger than that.” Eric said the words softly to himself through clenched teeth, but somehow, they did not sound very convincing. He told himself that all he had to do was remember all she had done to him in order to make forgetting her easy. As soon as he thought this, he thought of all she had done for him. Getting his business going when he thought he might go broke, rescuing him from the fire. The thought angered him. How was he supposed to deal with this? “One day at a time, pal. One day at a time.”

He sighed and swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stood up slowly, trying to keep his head from hurting anymore than it already did. He would have to get some of that special tea Julia had made that could handle stuff like this. One more reason to be in her debt.

He grimaced once again as he threw his clothes on in a hurry. The faster he went, the more he could catch up on. It was only about midday, and if he was lucky, he could get all his work done just after dark. He would have to hurry though; skipping a shower and eating a dry breakfast would help out a bit. Julia would probably tell him not to work too hard. He grimaced even harder at the thought of her. He resolved not to think about her again, that was, at least, not if he could help it.

Eric left his room and went and knocked on Julia’s door. “Jules, are you up?” When there was no answer, he frowned and opened the door a crack to get a peek in, then swung the door fully open. The bed was made and everything was in top shape; just the way she normally left it every morning before she went out for the morning. She must have gotten up already. It did not surprise him in the least. It was not unusual for her to go out early when she had had a rough night. The work was her way of dealing with the stress of life.

He stood there a moment longer, trying to figure out why it was that he felt like something was not right. Then deciding it was just his imagination, he went into the kitchen to get something to eat. Searching through the cupboards for some fruit or bread or cheese, he reasoned once again that it would be a good idea to eat something light and quick. But as he went through each one, he could find nothing. “I did not think we were so out of things to eat around here.” He said in a huff. Just one more thing to add to the list of stuff he had to do today. He finally went into the cellar at the back of the house and got some jerky from supplies that also seemed a little low. He would eat it as he worked.

That feeling would not leave him. He stood in the middle of the kitchen and looked around as he chewed at the tough piece of beef. Everything was as it should be with the dishes washed and clean and the fireplace swept, so why was he feeling like this? He snuck a quick look out the window at the barn. It too looked completely normal with it‘s makeshift roof and patches to the walls. The horses were running around in the brisk air as usual. So where was Julia? He did not see her anywhere working the horses or tending to the million other things that needed doing lately. Her absence seemed so great, he could almost physically touch it. Must be from last night. “No,” he chided himself. “Don‘t think about it!”

Eric threw his overcoat on and went out to the barn still trying to shake the feeling that something was wrong, reassuring himself that everything was fine and that he was only feeling the effects of the night before. This was going to be a long day. As he entered the barn, he looked around and began to take mental note of all that had to be done. The horses needed to be fed, many of the stalls needed to be cleaned.

He proceeded to do the feeding first, keeping a lookout for where Julia might have roamed off. The thought suddenly occurred to him that she may have needed a bit of a vacation and so had gone into town. Of course that was it! No wonder he couldn‘t find her! That had to be where she went! Eric was surprised at himself that he had not thought of that before. After last night, she would need some time to herself to think and clear her head. No doubt this day alone would do him some good too. It sure was a bit of a relief to know that he would not have to face her so soon. But that still was no excuse for not waking him up this morning, nor for not doing her chores. Didn’t she know how much he depended on her to run things?

Then again, it was almost like a holiday; she had those totally free and she did not get very many of them at all. Normally, if she simply took the day off, she at least helped out around the place before she left. Not that he could blame her for not doing so, he really did not feel like doing much either.

Eric went around the ranch that day, doing little odds and ends, not wanting to get caught up in a project that he would not be able to finish before dark. The sun went down that day in an amazing blaze of reds and purples that did not match the mood of the day, but helped to lift the atmosphere that had been surrounding Eric as he worked. He set down the ax he had been using to chop up some firewood and took a moment to survey its glory before getting ready to settle in for the night. He still needed to clean the stalls a little bit, and lay some more hay to keep the animals warm, but that could be done with a lantern.

He went through the rest of the evening as mechanically as he had that day. As he finally went into the house to eat a bit before bed, he realized that he had still not heard from Julia. Oh, she will be all right. She probably just stayed in town tonight. She will be back tomorrow sometime. Convinced of this, he quickly took care of the things in the house and went to bed.

__________

Julia rode hard up through the mountains. She could not afford for Eric to come after her and actually catch her. However, she did not go so fast as to wear out her horse or her dog. She would need them to be rested enough to continue on tomorrow. As the sun finally set and light began to get scarce, Julia stopped to make camp. She quickly gathered enough dry wood to last her through the night and made preparations to end the day. Winter had set early and the nights were very cold.

She set up under a stand of fir trees. Their sheltering bows would help hold in a bit of the heat from her fire and keep her a little bit warmer. She rolled out her bedding and ate a light dinner of jerky and cheese, not wanting to waste any of her rations. The fire roared and managed to keep the area rather warm, something she was considerably grateful for. She set up her bedding close enough to the flame that the cloth would absorb some of the heat, but not so close that it would catch fire.

As soon as all that was done, she went over to Jaydadell and put her cover blanket on her. The horse nickered and nuzzled under Julia’s arm with affection. She giggled; this was probably the most affectionate horse she had ever known and she was glad that it belonged to her. They would make good time together and Julia needed the friendship to help battle the inner turmoil she was struggling with.

She checked the tether to make sure the horse could not run off, then snuggled down under the soft blankets of her bedding. Jason padded out of the pitch black forest where he had been chasing some brave animal or another which had snuck out of it’s home for a last minute bit of food. Julia wondered how he could have so much energy after having traveled so far. She guessed that his energy would not last too long as they traveled further and further. This was going to be a hard journey.

The exuberant dog stopped at the edge of the firelight to lick his paw, then trotted over to Julia and made himself comfy on the excess her bedroll. Julia wriggled up close to his side for extra warmth and absentmindedly stroked his fur as she stared into the flames. She could feel the heat on her face and it felt good. She wished it could penetrate all the way down into her heart and warm the coldness of the feelings that were emanating from there.

For the hundredth time that day, Julia wondered if she was doing the right thing, and for the hundredth time, told herself that she was doing what she had to do. She wondered if Eric had even noticed that she was gone. He probably had. Would he be furious when he found out? Or would he be sad and feel guilty and then chase after her?

Secretly in her heart, she hoped he would, but her mind continued to be angry and hurt and it urged with her to keep the pace she had set today. It told her that she could not afford more of the filth that had filled her life; that the only way to stay safe was to get as far from Eric as possible, and then to forget him. Yet at the same time, her heart whispered to her a longing for him that nagged and pushed through to her consciousness and refused to be ignored. As Julia tossed and turned trying to find some sleep, she once again wondered if Eric would come after her, hoping he wouldn’t, yet hoping he would.

__________

Eric awoke the next morning a little after dawn. A heavy frost covered the ground, making it seem as if it had snowed lightly overnight. He got up quickly and went about doing the chores, hoping to get them done early so he could go into town and get the supplies he needed at the store. He would also stop at the tavern where Julia normally stayed on her holidays and tell her he needed to know when she was coming back. If need be, he would even tell her he was sorry for what he had said the other night and assure her that it was all a mistake, for it really was and it was not one he was going to repeat.

His heart ached when he thought about the fact that he would never be able to hold her again, but he quickly caught himself, refusing to think about it or let himself be hurt over the issue. He had been rejected before; this one would not cause him more pain or suffering than the other. He had gotten over it just fine, and he would do the same again.

The chores did not take long. As soon as he was done, he saddled one of the horses and rode off into town. The air was brisk and he could see not only his breath but the breath of his horse coming out in long clouds that rose up in clouds around their heads. Small winter birds flitted here and there but other than that, he was totally alone.

As he crossed the bridge at the one-mile mark, he looked down into the water. There was ice along the edge of the bank. It shimmered in the morning light as if little crystals had been spilled and the owner had not bothered to pick them up again. The sparkles danced around in brilliant bursts of color as he rode by and nearly blinded him. The sun was bright and there was not a cloud in the sky.

It would be windy and cold today, but there would be plenty of sun at least. It might even snow tonight Eric thought to himself, at least, if the weather cooperated and the clouds rolled in. He hoped so. It would take slightly warmer weather for it to snow, and normally that brought less wind. He absolutely hated the wind. It always made things colder than they really were and he always felt like he could not get away from it. But the wind was the weather and he could not change it, he just had to live with it.

As Eric entered the town, it seemed as if it was not awake yet. There were normally children and animals running a muck in the street, but today it was mostly deserted. Where normally there were old ladies gossiping about the latest news, only empty chairs and yards stood. Guess no one else wants to be out in this weather either, Eric mused. The only sign of life in the whole town was all the smoke rising from the chimneys. Eric shivered and nudged his horse into a slightly faster pace in an effort to get out of the frigid cold. The general store was one of the first buildings in the town and he would make his first stop there.

The store was not very large on the outside, but inside, it seemed to be big enough to hold everything in the whole world that one could possibly desire. Eric walked in and beat his gloved hands together in an effort to warm them. Other than the storekeeper, he was the only person there. The keeper was a balding man in his fifties and what little hair he did have was dark brown with specks of gray. He wore brown pants and a white shirt with a white apron. At the moment, he was busily dusting under the candy jars.

“Good morning Ray.” Eric said cheerily as he began to gather the things he needed. Ray looked up from his work and smiled.

“Well hello Mr. Norman. How are you?” He walked over and shook Eric’s hand firmly.

“Oh, not too bad. Just coming in to stock up. I finally got over all my injuries, and when I got up yesterday morning, well I realized just how bad the place had gone to pot when I had to eat jerky for breakfast.” Ray laughed heartily.

“I would have figured that young lady of yours would have taken care of things for you. You know, made sure that the cupboards were full for a healing man. She sure does work hard.”

“Yes, she does.” Eric conceded. “I would have thought she would have too, but lately we have been in a bit of a pickle trying to put everything back together. I guess maybe we both just kind of skipped over it. I’m still trying to figure out just exactly what it is that we have been eating if the house has been so empty.” Ray and Eric laughed together. It felt good to laugh it off like nothing was wrong. Like he was not hurting underneath it all.

“Speaking of Julia, how is the old girl?” Ray inquired.

Eric winced and hoped that the action had gone unnoticed. “Well, I wish I could tell you Ray, but I have not seen her since two nights ago. I don‘t exactly know where she is.”

“Oh really? Why is that? Doesn’t she normally tell you when she is going to take a few days off?”
“Yeah, normally. But we got in a bit of a fight the other night and I guess I just made her mad enough that she ran off.” At this last comment, Eric looked at his shoes feeling a bit like a little boy who had called the young schoolgirl a mean name and was having to fess up to it. “I’m guessing she came down here and spent the night at A Good Night’s Sleep. You know how she likes that place. Anyway, as soon as I am done here, I’m going to go over there and let her know that she has to tell me where she is going. I’m still her employer, no matter how good of friends we have become, and she can’t just go running off because I said a little something that she did not like.”

“I must agree. If she just left like that every time she felt like going somewhere, she might just comeback and find her position filled ‘cause you thought she was never coming back.”

“I don’t know about that,” Eric thought out loud, mostly to himself. “She sure would be in trouble though, like she is now.” The two men stood there for a moment longer.

“Well, I’ll just let you finish your shopping.” Ray said. “Let me know if you need help, or if your done, I’ll go ahead and ring you up so you can go hunting your girl.” Eric nodded and went quickly around the store gathering the things he needed for the ranch. When he was done, he paid Ray, pack all the goods on his horse, and headed down the street to Julia’s favorite Inn.

__________

Julia woke up only once in the night, but somehow, she wished it had been more than that. An uneasiness assaulted her mind and plagued her sleep, but when she woke up, she could remember nothing of what she had been dreaming about. That was probably just as well, she thought to herself. At least she knew she wasn’t just living a nightmare. In other ways, she wished she had just slept all night and not woken up at all. She needed to stay rested if she was going to continue to make good time. However, waking up gave her the chance to stoke up the fire and stay just a little bit warmer. When she woke up again, the sky was beginning to lighten, so she decided to just get an early start. She quickly got the fire going, and made up some bacon. After eating a good breakfast, she saddled Jaydadell, tossed the scraps to Jason, then rolled her bedding and was on her way by the time there was enough light to travel by. The more distance she put between herself and Eric, the better off she was.