Life's Funny That Way

My Two Diaries

"The life of every man is a diary in which he means to write one story, and writes another; and his humblest hour is when he compares the volume as it is with what he vowed to make it." -James M. Barrie

At some point we all had a plan as to what we would do with our lives, what we would “be” when we “grew up.”  Suddenly, we wake up at the age of 37 (or 25, or 63), and realize that we planned our lives around some ideal set of circumstances and, while we were busy planning, life was busy happening. 

When I looked at the quote originally, I took it to mean that one’s station is life, not being what it had originally been planned to be, was necessarily less…. But I don’t believe that to be the case, the longer I look at it.  I am humbled, comparing the two volumes, by the fact that I have found my own road in life and was not swayed by the people who told me I would be a great chemical engineer ( due to my love of science, even at an early age) or that I should become a physicist, etc.  Maybe those would have been great options.  I’m sure I’d be making more money!!  (I’m a restaurant manager, for those of you who don’t know – and a durn good one, and I love it, truly)  Maybe I should have moved out of the rural area where I was born and raised (and I did for a while), for better opportunities.  Maybe, maybe maybe.  But, truly, I am happy with where I am in life.  We are starting a business, which is truly my passion…. I love the idea of taking off with something and making it work because I believe in it.  Building something from the ground up is what I need and what I love in life.  In my time as a restaurant manager, I have taken over locations that no one else would attempt because they were “too far gone”, and I’ve gotten things to work there.  I love that challenge.  And now, the “impossible” writing career on top of that.  My Dad, who I love dearly, always told me I didn’t want to be in management because it was too much of a headache.  Also, if I would have ever told him I was serious about being a writer…. Welllll…… I guess he would have told me I was crazy and should rethink my idea (in a different tone and with different words, I’m sure.  LOL). 

So, as I planned my life, I took the logical, pragmatic approach.  Once I reached high school, though, I realized that the “cookie cutter” was not for me.  I needed to make my own way, make my own mistakes, and push the envelope a little more.  My diary was a book I intended to write one day.  It’s much different than I planned it… and I’m much happier for it.  People change.  The world changes.  Ideas change.  I embrace change and see it as another learning experience.  I’m glad I never wrote the story of my life – because it’s not over!  There may be some hard times left for me, and that’s okay.  I also know there are some really great times ahead (and in the past!) that I never would have experienced if I had written my diary too quickly.