Despertar

identity crisis

Awesome! According to Google, I'm the SEA R&B Artist of 2008! And I am currently touring with India.Arie!

Oh, except this person, who shares my exact name, is actually a man, and his music is awful. So there goes that.

*

I've deleted my Facebook profile twice, each time because of a guy. I was super into Facebook for about five seconds, back when you still had to have a college email account to sign up for it. (Which, I hope this doesn't sound really elitist, because I don't mean it that way, but I think that's why Facebook and Myspace still feel so different, culturally, because even though both are available to anyone nowadays, Facebook has retained some of that schoolcentric sterility on which it was created. At some point, every single person on Facebook was in college and had some legitimate self-consciousness about how he was representing himself, what his dean would say if his page somehow became public. Not so with Myspace, where everyone immediately started posting drunk naked pictures of themselves. My law firm boss is on Facebook. My fourteen-year-old cousin is on Myspace. You know?)

I deleted my account when I got sick of obsessively reading all the comments girls left for Marcus on his wall. Through Facebook, I was constantly catching him in lies about where he'd been, past weekends, and what he'd been doing. It was emotionally exhausting and I hated it, and I hated Facebook, anyway, and it wasn't adding anything to my life, so I deleted it, very dramatically.

After Marcus and I were finally finished for good, in a blaze of glorious freedom, I reactivated my profile, to find that Facebook had only become more intrusive and less ignorable. They had just introduced the whole thing of Feeds, so even if I had the willpower not to check Marcus's page all the time, which was true at first, I still ran the risk of having to read about the last hundred things he and his friends had done every single time I logged in.

It started driving me crazy again, plus I got in trouble with his new girlfriend for leaving one innocuous comment on his wall, plus there's something nonsensical about allowing someone to remain your Facebook friend when they haven't treated you with a scrap of real-life respect in years, so I unfriended him.

He didn't notice for six months. When he did notice, he called and yelled at me. Something similar but much less intense happened with Justin, and while he was much more respectful about it, I ended up deleting my account, again, a few months ago. I am happier for it.

Sometimes I log in as Tina and look at pictures, but doing so just reminds me that I'm not missing anything.

Facebook has caused me nothing but heartache. I hate Facebook.

*

This happened embarrassingly quickly. My excuse is that I did this while I studied for Public Education Law and Policy.

[abshire]

Clayton (BRO) (GRA) (F)
Stephanie Abshire (BLA) (BRO) (F)
Ashton (BRO/bla) (BRO/gra) (F)
         Kaya Shankar (BLA) (BRO) (M)
         Eja (BLA/ ) (BRO/ ) (T)
         Miles (BLA/ ) (BRO/ ) (T)
         Shane (BLA/ ) (BRO/ ) (T)
         Isis (BLA/ ) (BRO/ ) (T)
         Xoe (BLA/ ) (BRO/ ) (T)
Tess (BRO/bla) (BRO/gra) (F)
         Patrick Quinn (BRO) (LBL) (F)
         Donovan Quinn (BRO/ ) (GRA/lbl) (F)
         Tegan Quinn (BRO/ ) (BRO/lbl) (F)
         Kellan Quinn (BRO/ ) (LBL/gra) (F)

Ashton and Kaya were supposed to have no children. Patrick and Tess were supposed to have a boy and then a girl. I'm seeing a definite correlation between children being born to much older parents and those same children having really fast career success of their own. Because Ashton and Kaya both got into private school early and were able to start climbing the career ladder as teenagers, and because their skills were so developed by the time they grew into adults, they got the baby bonus really fast, and they had time for five separate pregnancies. Which yielded three ugly children who took after Ashton and two beautiful ones who looked just like Kaya. Patrick and Tess managed the same, but more slowly--Kellan was a surprise.

[arora]

Keaton (BLA) (BRO) (D)
Elizabeth Butler (BRO) (GRE) (T)
Emma (BLA/bro) (BRO/gre) (M)
         Matthew Schafer (BRO/red) (BLU/bro) (M)
         Aurora Schafer (BRO/ ) (BRO/ ) (M)
         Ezra Schafer (BLA/ ) (BLU/ ) (M)
         Kalen Schafer (BRO/ ) (BLU/ ) (M)
         Heath Schafer (BLA/ ) (BRO/ ) (M)

Similarly, Matthew and Emma were supposed to have a girl and then a boy, but had time for two more after their careers maxed out. They named their four children to honor every grandparent except Susana. Oops.

[bourdain]

Todd (BRO) (GRA) (D)
Sivan Thompson (BRO) (GRE) (D)
Alec (BRO) (GRE/gra) (D)
         Jordan Maxwell (BRO/bla) (BRO/gre) (D)
         Devon (BRO/ ) (BRO/ ) (D)
         Bay (BRO/ ) (GRA/gre) (D)
         Anna (BRO/ ) (GRE/ ) (D)
         Cole (BRO/ ) (BRO/ ) (D)

Okay, so basically, everyone who was supposed to remain childless (like Alec and Jordan) got the baby bonus in spades.

[bright]

Emmett (BLO) (BLU) (F)
Georgia Mackey (BLA) (BRO) (M)
Collin (BLA/blo) (BRO/blu) (T)
         Claire Lauren (BRO/red) (GRA/gre) (T)
         Cameron (BRO/ ) (BRO/ ) (T)
         Carrington (BLA/ ) (BRO/ ) (T)

Including Collin and Claire, who were blessed with Cameron and Carrington after their home was completely finished, everything all in order. No hair diversity, sadly, but Cameron and Carrington do have that crazy clown face from Emmett, so I'm happy.

[darling]

Cory (BLA) (BRO) (D)
Kristen Albaugh (BRO) (BRO) (D)
Naima (BLA/bro) (BRO) (D)

Literally, everyone.

[heaven]

Philip (BLA) (BRO) (F)
Serena Gilley (BLO) (LBL) (F)

Well, not everyone. Philip and Serena were doing really well right up till the end, but then Philip got a surprise demotion right as Serena made Criminal Mastermind, and it all fell apart from there. So the Heavens ended up with absolutely nothing: no house (their lot was too uneven, so every time they earned any money, I had to use it to level a little bit more, leaving them with a giant chasm between their bed and shower), no money (see above), no heirs to whom to bequeath the shitty real estate. And, because they were a new couple, no nieces or nephews, either. So it'll go back on the market, and some new couple will have to throw all their money into fixing it up.

[jin]

Ang-Lee (BLA) (BRO) (T)
Jasmine Hale (RED) (GRA) (D)
Kiran (BLA/red) (BRO/gra) (M)
         Ariel Shankar (BLA) (BRO) (M)
         Kyle Shankar (BLA/ ) (BRO/ ) (M)

Well, and the same thing happened with Ariel. Kiran, Ariel and Kyle lived their lives basically ignoring each other: Jasmine really raised Kyle, while his parents worked on their careers, so after she died, Kyle just kind of did his own thing, got himself into private school, fed himself, et cetera. Kiran worked nights and slept days.

[jones]

Jonathan (BLA) (GRE) (D)
Michelle Atkinson (BLA) (BLU) (D)
Colton (BLA) (BLU/gre) (D)
         Carlin Maxwell (BRO/bla) (BRO/gre) (D)
         Colby (BLA/ ) (BRO/ ) (D)
         Chadrick (BLA/ ) (BLU/ ) (D)
         Christian (BRO/bla) (GRE) (D)
         Corbin (BLA/ ) (BRO/ ) (D)
         Cheria (BLA/ ) (BRO/ ) (D)
Jaden (BLA) (BLU/gre) (D)
         Bridget White (BLO) (LBL/gra) (T)
         Damian (BLA/blo) (BLU/ ) (M)
         Simona (BLA/blo) (BLU/ ) (M)

The Jones brothers, in spite of their meager beginnings, really made something of themselves. Colton got to move into the well-furnished Maxwell house (ha!) with Carlin, and, after Colby, proceeded to have four surprise babies in his twilight years. (It was really cute, actually; because Colby was so much older, she helped raise Chadrick, Christian, Corbin and Cheria, and wound up with a really high relationship with each one.) Jaden and Bridget did well for themselves, even in the shitty Jones house, and had Simone when Damian was just on the cusp of teen age.

[lauren]

Jean (BRO) (GRE) (F)
Vanessa Elliott (RED) (GRA) (M)
Beau (BRO/red) (GRE/gra) (T)
         Bella White (BLO) (GRA/lbl) (T)
         Betina (BRO/blo) (GRA/ ) (T)
         Beryl (BRO/blo) (LBL/ ) (T)
         Blaise (BLO/red) (LBL/ ) (T)
         Bettany (BLO/red) (GRA/ ) (T)
Claire (BRO/red) (GRA/gre) (T)
         ...
Marc (BRO/red) (GRA/gre) (T)
         Nicole Grasty (BLA) (BRO) (D)
         Courtland (BRO/bla) (BRO/ ) (M)
         Dashiell (BLA/ ) (BRO/ ) (M)

Blaise Lauren is probably the most beautiful person in the entire neighborhood, which, to Jenn's point, is more a testament to how we value fair hair and tan skin than it is anything else. But she has Vanessa's full lips and those eyes, tilted up at the corners, like a cat's, and is definitely the best-looking of her very average siblings.

[maddox]

Michael (BRO) (BLU) (T)
Chelsea Cho (BLA) (BRO) (T)
Justin (BLA/bro) (BLU/bro) (T)
         Persephone Stephanides (BRO) (BLU/bro) (T)
         Elisa (BLA/bro) (BLU/ ) (T)
         Samantha (BRO/ ) (BLU/ ) (T)
         Lorelei (BRO/ ) (BLU/ ) (T)
Dylan (BRO/bla) (BLU/bro) (T)
         Kyla McAdams (BLA/red) (GRA/lbl) (T)
         Jeremy (BRO/ ) (BLU/ ) (T)
         Trevor (BLA/ ) (BLU/ ) (T)
         Pearl (BLA/ ) (BRO/ ) (T)
         Dominic (BRO/ ) (BRO/ ) (T)

The Maddox men are really handsome. The Stephanides women, not so much.

[maxwell]

Richard (BRO) (GRE) (D)
Monica Spencer (BLA) (BRO) (D)
Jordan (BRO/bla) (BRO/gre) (D)
         ...
Carlin (BRO/bla) (BRO/gre) (D)
         ...

Yada yada.

[miranda]

Lucio (BRO) (BRO) (M)
Heather Crawley (BLO) (GRE) (F)
Sasha (BRO/blo) (BRO/gre) (T)
         Bianca White (BLO) (GRA/lbl) (T)
         Logan (BRO/blo) (BRO/ ) (T)
         Skylar (BLO) (BRO/ ) (T)
         Emery (BLO) (LBL/gre) (T)
Laura (BRO/blo) (BRO/gre) (T)
         Apollo Stephanides (BRO) (BLU/bro) (T)
         Calliope Stephanides (BRO/ ) (BLU/ ) (T)
         Aphrodite Stephanides (BRO/ ) (BRO/ ) (T)
         Hermes Stephanides (BRO/ ) (BRO/ ) (T)
         Nicholas Stephanides (BRO/ ) (BRO/ ) (T)

Tradition in the Stephanides family is for the firstborn to name all his children after Greek mythological figures. Hence Calliope, Aphrodite, Hermes, Nicholas.

[mcadams]

Bennett (RED) (LBL) (T)
Morgan Xu (BLA) (GRA) (T)
Kyla (BLA/red) (GRA/lbl) (T)
         ...
Sheadon (BLA/red) (GRA/lbl) (T)
         Helios Stephanides (BRO) (BLU/bro) (T)
         Hunter Stephanides (BRO/ ) (BLU/ ) (T)
         Olive Stephanides (BLA/ ) (BRO/ ) (T)
         Sage Stephanides (BLA/ ) (BLU/ ) (T)
         Forest Stephanides (BRO/ ) (BRO/ ) (T)
         Kendal Stephanides (BRO/ ) (BRO/ ) (T)
         Jade Stephanides (BLA/ ) (BLU/ ) (T)

Helios and Sheadon, believe it or not, were actually slated to have six kids. They were the two worst candidates, neither one particularly accomplished, both lazy and sloppy. Every baby made it harder and harder, and now, thank God Hunter is old enough to help out, because it's like hell, trying to keep the Social Worker away.

[o'hara]

William (BLO) (BRO) (F)
Alexandra McVeigh (RED) (BRO) (F)
Aaden (RED/blo) (BRO) (F)
         Elle Schafer (BRO/red) (BLU/bro) (M)
         Angelina (BRO/ ) (BRO/ ) (T)
         Isabella (BRO/ ) (BRO/ ) (T)
         Juliana (BRO/ ) (BRO/ ) (T)
         Belicia (BRO/ ) (BRO/ ) (T)
         Quintin (BRO/ ) (BRO/ ) (T)
         Rosalinda (BRO/ ) (BLU/bro) (T)
Keegan (BLO/red) (BRO) (F)
         Taj Shankar (BLA) (BRO) (M)
         Adam Shankar (BLA/ ) (BRO) (T)
         Opal Shankar (BLA/ ) (BRO) (T)
         Cary Shankar (BLA/ ) (BRO) (T)

Aaden and Elle were supposed to have two same-gender babies, which they did, Angelina and Isabella, but because Elle's parents basically raised them, Aaden and Elle were able to do their thing and ultimately had four more babies. I have no idea how, given so many opportunities for gender and genetic diversity, they wound up with five girls out of six, and everyone with brown hair. And poor Quintin, the left-out number five.

[schafer]

Kale (RED) (BLU) (M)
Susana Mendes (BRO) (BRO) (M)
Elle (BRO/red) (BLU/bro) (M)
         ...
Matthew (BRO/red) (BLU/bro) (M)
         ...

Oh, Kale.

[shankar]

Alan (BLA) (BRO) (M)
Claudia Price (BLA) (BRO) (M)
Kaya (BLA) (BRO) (M)
         ...
Ariel (BLA) (BRO (M)
         ...
Taj (BLA) (BRO) (M)
         ...

Yada yada.

[stephanides]

Christopher (BRO) (BRO) (M)
Jessica Addison (BRO) (BLU) (F)
Apollo (BRO) (BLU/bro) (T)
         ...
Persephone (BRO) (BLU/bro) (T)
         ...
Helios (BRO) (BLU/bro) (T)
         ...

I just realized practically everyone in this neighborhood has Stephanides blood. We'll have to fix that next generation.

[taylor]

Brandon (BRO) (BRO) (D)
Melanie Little (BRO) (BRO) (D)

Like the Heavens, the Taylors didn't get far, either.

[white]

Basil (BLO) (GRA) (T)
Briony Lang (BLO) (LBL) (T)
Bianca (BLO) (GRA/lbl) (T)
         ...
Bridget (BLO) (LBL/gra) (T)
         ...
Bella (BLO) (GRA/lbl) (T)
         ...

...And yada yada! Generation three.