Dreamland

Rage Against the Remotes

I'm standing in front of my TV trying to make a recording. I'm not sure why, but it's extremely important that I get this right. I need to pause and queue up a program on the DVD and a program on the DVR, and start them both playing from the same spot at the same exact time as I hit the "record" button on the VCR.

The DVD player is defective, once it's on pause it only stays there for a few seconds, then it starts to play again.

The DVR remote has problems with the battery terminals, you have to push down on the batteries to make it work.

The VHS remote doesn't always work when you press "record", sometimes it sticks on pause and you have to hit the button a few times to make it work.

It's impossible to get the remotes to work to get everything queued up in sequence and recorded, every attempt fails.

And with every attempt I get more and more angry. The rage builds in me to a point where I'm so angry I scream as I crush two of the remotes in my bare hands, dropping shards of plastic and broken electrical components on the floor.

My wife walks into the room and says "Calm down, you'll give yourself a heart attack!"

I slump to the floor, lie down.

I feel like a deflated balloon, all the rage leaking from my body, seeping into the carpet beneath my back.