I'm Studying You

Put a dress on it and take it home.

I'm so behind on you people it's amazing I get any bit of love anymore.

Nicole, swear to God I'll call you soon woman. I mean it. But your voicemails are haughtily entertaining. And God, she loves promises, because she's shown me many lately.

Good almighty, I have a song but no youtube, so go dig on "My Friends" and "Scar Tissue" by the Red Hot Chili Peppers before I do. Cuz I feel some vomit coming on, and I can't yank Wilco out of the cd player just yet to justify me rooting through that cd collection of mine.

All of us, breathe some fresh air...no women will have been named today. 'Cept you, Nicole. Shameless Goldfish plug every other woman in my life will have to contend with.

I do not like confrontation. I will not be put in the middle. If I get to choose sides, I choose dynasty. That way, I get to rule and cut out infighting. And in that dynasty of mine, I shall encourage all sorts of freedoms. Including the freedom from petty bullshit. Some shit, very simply put, just doesn't fucking matter.

What matters are friends. The people you get to know and establish some kind of bond with. And I realize I am no shining example of "good friend", but don't we all have skulls in our backyards we'd prefer not to be known for?

I haven't heard from my best friend in a few weeks. I miss Dave. And it isn't because either of us wants to deal with the other's shit. Sometimes the acute need to take a break falls by the wayside when cooler heads really need to prevail. And sometimes, people just really need to do a better job of looking out for those they call "friends". I mean, people are destined to come and go in life, but certain few are meant to be so priveledged to know what they know about people they get close to. And that isn't something you just turn your back on. Doesn't matter how stressed out you are or how many times your friend is on the ledge again. You drop shit and you right things, even as imbalanced as things may look on paper. It's just what you fucking do. You do it. And not because you want to, but you have to.

I admit I do a fair amount of ignoring people, but that's out of selfishness. Don't blog about your house being on fire when you should be more concerned with putting it out, catching the arsonist or saving your valuables, and don't piss on someone's pity parade just because they got dealt a bad hand that they didn't know how to play anyway. It's bad color.

We all have our talents and downfalls. Some are serious and some are fecetious. We latch on to people because the drive-thru society we live in now makes it ok if we dine-and-dash on them. Merchandise? Steal all you want. I can't say anything (and that's an entry for another day). But lives? Don't fuck with that. Sometimes we do shit that people don't need to know, and sometimes we need some sort of validation from those we trust. No need to front on anyone...just love them for who you know them to be, support them as best you can, and tuck the ego in the back pocket next to the ass-crack we all have. Because if I were a vegetarian, I wouldn't need the beef, if y'all get where I'm goin' here.

And I could go on, but I won't. I think I just shot aeresol toilet cleaner into one or more of my eyes while taking a piss. So don't worry about me people...take care of you, and each other. I hate seeing good things go to waste out of senseless pissfights over nothing.