Distant Voices

feeling sucidal

I cant stand it anymore, from how much he has done his fucked surprise I am came back shit.. i am totally freaking out thinking the fuck is going to be back any min.. i am constantly nervous and always calling him just to make sure he stays in timbuck2 the fuck has totally taken over my mind.

My house seems to be like the zoo everyday there is someone in our out or coming or going or staying or hanging out.. i cant have five min of piece and quiet... i fucking hate it.. i wanna read a book drink chocolate milk and put my legs up naked.... and i cant...


I am thinking if I go off and kill myself than i would get the piece and quiet i so desperately want...

I am losing all my friends I dont want to talk to anyone and i think i am not worth anyones time.. :( sucks sucks sucks......... i hate life seriously... i want a divorce i want to be free i want to run around and scream my head off... without worries i want to walk with out the crap on my head and the abaya.. i want just be free of everything and anyone.. but i can never be he will never let me go.. everytime i say thats it lets just get this over with he says no.. or something or i should say a lot of bullshit.. so i am stuck forever in this hell hole with narrow minded constipated people...