I'm Studying You

3rd Base in your program, No.1 in your hearts.

So much to tell you, and so little patience today. Maybe it's because I'm sorer than a decamped cheerleader's overzealous mom.

I hadn't thrown, hit or caught an actual baseball in probably 15 years. Softball? Yeah. I'm used to that. It's the excuse to get dirty and not look like you're pussin' out when you can't figure out a fastball from a curveball from a hairball anymore, and your mind still treats you like the sandlot hero you once were while your body slowly has turned to sand.

So I played baseball yesterday. Ouch. Wait... I mean FUCK DON'T TOUCH ME AND DON'T MAKE ME MOVE!!! THAT'S RIGHT...TIE MY SHOES FOR ME LADY, OR I'LL STEAL YOUR CANE. Yeah, it's that bad.

To make things worse, I'm primarily a 2nd baseman. Too short for first, and because I broke my right (throwing) shoulder twice in high school, I can't make the deep throws. I snagged a couple of grounders that were ESPN-worthy Web Gems at the hot corner, only to chuck the pill into center field, the dugout, the park pavillion, Erie street...toward the end I even managed to bounce not one, but two throws from 3rd to home halfway down the line. Gold Glove maybe; Gold Arm not so much...more like Golden Grahams cereal that sat in the milk too long.

The only positive was my bat. In my youth I could crush a ball. Now, due to whatever decline the onset of age has brought on, I rely primarily on squeaking grounders past infielders and legging out singles. Or should I say, lung-ing out singles, because that sprint (if you can even call it that) had me gasping for air. At least I can still score from first on a single or a double... I just can't talk about it until the 2,000 lb. cow gets off my chest, which usually takes about half an inning.

But all in all, it was mostly a good time. It got kinda lame at the end when I started hurting and not being able to see the ball as twilight set in, but hey, for an "old man" playing a kids' game, I did alright.

In other news:
I didn't have to report for jury duty today, because my number was high. That's pretty sweet. But what sucks is that if I had to go and went to bed at 11 or even midnight, I probably would've slept til 9:30am, or been super beat waking up at 7am. My body doesn't seem to pay attention to detail however; went to bed at about 2am and could've easily risen at 6:30am. I scratched out a couple hours of sleep, but ain't much better than making it all the way through.

I'm done with the CWC who shall no longer be named in this place by her given name. Yesterday I walk in, get my paper, wait in line, am greeted with a mock-snobby "oh, it's YOU" and pretty much got peaced the fuck out. Dumb girl.

Pass around the hat. I need to hit up the unemployment office asap. I was supposed to go there last week but couldn't get there, and supposedly my benefits are suspended til I can. That's way too long of a fucking walk, and buses don't run between suburbs, only suburb to city to suburb. So I'm kinda fucked.

Tonight is Depew's Night Out, in conjunction with National Night Out. I volunteered to work it but I haven't heard back yet so I'll show up and see what happens. At least it's a night of free hot dogs and pop (or like the rest of the country berates me for, soda), plus the usual safety demonstrations, orchestras and such. Hell, it's something to do.

That's all I got. Y'all be good and friendly and neighborly, and I'll try not to get Walgreens withdrawl or panic too much. Peace.