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Hello my fellow earthlings! Have you heard the latest news from The Weekly Tribute? An unidentified flying object was seen yesterday morning flying over the desk of a currently unnamed columnist (ahem). This object was large and round and shaped like a giant coffee mug. It is believed to be propelled by a human force beyond anything known to man to date. The object was traveling at approximately 20,000 mph at an altitude of five foot and six inches. If any one has any information regarding the final destination of the object please contact Editor in Chief Sam Slung. Okay, I do tend to get carried away sometimes, but I must lay full blame on the near collision of my head with an over-sized flying coffee cup. This is the flying object's actual identity, no names have been changed to protect anyone (except I might actually change mine to MUD after today's column runs!). The original idea for today's column was facing deadlines but since the reason I had such a close call with death was that I was no where near close to making mine, I decided to talk instead about UFO's and the damage they can do to one's person and to one's ability to safely drink coffee. Besides leaving a mark on a person's body, if not leaving them in a hospital bed for a few days, a UFO can leave someone with a strong desire to run from any thing that even smells like coffee.Sometimes, even tea can leave a bad taste and send one into a fit of embarrassing table-ducking flashbacks. And if that isn't bad enough the victim often times must return to the scene of the collision on a daily basis. This is enough to keep my column on time for years to come! So, needless to say, my boss did get his column but it was not quite what he was expecting. If you have a boss like mine who wants a job done when he/she wants it done, my advice to you is DO IT! Before you meet the Newly Identified Flying Object (NIFO ?)head on! Till next time... |