Happiness is a Choice

A Letter to Myself

If I could write a letter, to me, and send it back in time to myself, I would take advantage of doing so.  There are few things in my past that I would change.  I approve of the life I've lived and I accept the consequences of the errors I've made.  Still, there were times I worried that I wasn't doing it right, that I could be doing it better.  My letter would arrive on my eighteenth birthday.

Dear Olevia:

Get on that train tomorrow.  Dallas holds your destiny and a journey filled with adventure.  Life is so much shorter than you can fathom today, but you need not worry.  You are not in control anyway.  Things are going to turn out okay as long as you follow that still, small voice that can speak so loudly when you are about to make a wrong turn.  Be as kind and as understanding as you can of your neighbor's frailties.  Spend less time railing against injustice and more time being just.  It's right to help your friends to regain their footing when they fall rather than judge their missteps.  Go ahead and call in to work for no reason other than to enjoy your family for a day of impulsive recreation.  Take a walk in the woods when the breakfast dishes are still in the sink.  Know that the lesson taught by surprising your kids with a day off from school is more important than any unlearned academic lesson.    Leave the guilt at the door when you walk out with the picnic basket.

Your twenties, thirties and forties will sometimes feel intense.  You will have children to rear, and you'll wonder: Am I a good parent?  You can only do your best.  You will love them.  Be careful not to smother them.  Your childrearing responsibilities come with an expiration date.  Be sure to honor it.  Extend to them as much freedom as possible without jeopardizing their physical safety.  It's your job to allow your children to fall, to falter and to learn from their own mistakes.  That is how they learn to make good decisions.  Your children do not come to you; they come through you.  Your assignment is to reinforce their victories and to understand their failures without endorsing them.  To have children is an unrivaled challenge and fortuitous event.  Use that gift to create adult friends for your older age.

Let your heart be light, and laugh a lot.  Laugh at your own foibles.  Take every chance.  Dream every dream.  You only get one opportunity at this life, don't waste it in preparation.  Live out loud, not hidden away, afraid of your own shadow.  Find the specks of hope when things look black.  Enjoy the crevices of adventure in the unexpected, even when it comes disguised as a tragedy.  Try to grow up without growing old.  Know you are blessed, and share your good fortune.  Appreciate who you are and from whence you came.  Practice being thankful.  Say it often, to God, to your family, to your friends and to yourself. 

Ann, there are no do-overs on this side.  Don't waste even one minute in envy or being covetous of another's accomplishments.  Your reality comes equipped with everything needed to be happy and complete. 

Good luck,
Ann--That'll be your name when you write this letter.  Surprised?


P. S.  Enjoy the ride.  It is unique to you and it's important not to get off the train until it pulls into the final station.