Memoirs of an Insane Freshman Girl

Chapter 6: Guys Galore: Pre-Homecoming

Chapter 6: Guys Galore: Pre-Homecoming

Okay, so technically, Chris wasn't my first boyfriend. Technically, David was my first boyfriend, but I don't really count him. No, he doesn't really count at all. Wow, if you didn't already think I was a bitch, then you'll definitely see my coldhearted bitch qualities in this chapter. So I should probably explain this whole situation a little more thoroughly. So you know that Chris and I flirted a lot in keyboarding, of course. We did that for a while, also taking up flirting in Lit/Comp. There's actually a pretty funny story attached with Lit/Comp class.

So when I finally noticed that Chris was in three of my classes instead of just one-as previously noted that I didn't notice him until 7th hour keyboarding-I must say that I began to become obsessed. When Chris was seated very far across the vast Lit/Comp room-because it had to accommodate for fifty students in the advanced course-I must say that I was more than a little disappointed. I had wanted to sit next to him like in keyboarding and talk to him to get to know him more. Of course, it's already been determined that I liked Chris from basically the first moment I saw him. No, it wasn't one of those love at first sight things that is a total bunch of bullshit if you ask me-but that's beside the point. So as my obsession grew, it became harder and harder not to stare across the room into Chris's eyes. Okay, I know that sounds totally cheesy and corny, but that is exactly what happened. That's actually how it started with us. I, with my great obsession with Chris's gold-colored eyes, took up staring across the room, just trying to catch Chris's eye-but not for too long to seem like I was staring at him, which of course I was, but he wasn't supposed to know that, and if I did happen to catch his eye I had to promptly look away as if I wasn't looking at him at all-like it was a sport, and Lit/Comp class became absolutely meaningless in terms of education but essential in terms of my boy toy.

Of course, someone noticed that I was staring across the room at Chris all hour. To this day, I will never know if Chris really thought I was staring at him all that time-which of course, I was-or if he really just thought my glance was passing by his desk a few more times than the normal person's would. So eventually, this guy-he will remain unnamed for my sake and his unimportance in this story-came up to me and asked me why I was staring across the room at his friend. Of course, his "friend" wasn't Chris; so, this random guy thought I was staring at him across the room when I was really staring at Chris-seated one seat in front of said random guy. And what was I supposed to say to that? Oh no, I wasn't staring at your friend. I was staring at the kid in front of him, Chris.

Okay, so basically, Chris and I kind of connected in Lit/Comp and continued flirting in keyboarding. Chris kept trying to get on facebook in keyboarding, but the school had websites blocked so he couldn't. Of course, being the dork that I was, decided to join facebook just so I could talk to him more outside of school without being completely conspicuous-of course staring at him across the room for an entire hour wasn't conspicuous enough! We began talking on facebook nonstop for a couple of days. He called me sexy, and I admit it that it kind of made me fall harder for him. Of course, you must be thinking that any guy could call me sexy, but no guy ever had because I was not considered to be one of the "likeable" girls during middle school. So we got to know each other better, and then he invited me to mud volleyball at his church. He said that I probably shouldn't wear one of my pink dresses. (As previously said, I was a fashion trend-setter, not a fashion trend-follower-not that anyone actually followed my fashion, but I wasn't following other people's-so I took up wearing dresses a couple of times a week.)

Of course, I accepted the invitation and attended mud volleyball. It turned out that no one actually played volleyball but instead decided to take up throwing mud at each other. Okay, I'm not exactly what you'd call a prissy girl who doesn't like to get dirty, but I'm not exactly the jump-in-the-mud type. By the end of the night, you couldn't differentiate one person from the other because we were all so coated in mud. Even though I must say that I had my doubts before, it was a lot of fun. What was even more fun was the end of the night. We were hosed off by fire trucks, but I still felt really grimy. They gave us trash bags to wear; so, we didn't get our parents' cars all dirty and muddy. It must be noted that when I told my girlfriends about how I liked Chris, everyone called him that Chris kid. I don't know why, but I guess no one really knew him or talked to him, but Chris had been deemed that Chris kid. So I went to talk to Chris wearing a trash bag, and he was just wearing a pair of shorts. I must say that that was the highlight of my life so far-seeing my boy shirtless. (It was very yummy. ) Of course, at that point, he wasn't my boy-it took upwards of five months for that to happen, but we'll get to that later.

So we ended up talking, and he was too shy to kiss me; so, he just hugged me when my dad came to pick me up. I must say that that hug wasn't completely pointless; I got to rub my hands all over his bare back. Okay, I'm going to stop now, but you get my point. So as you can see, that was a good night, right? It must have only gotten better from there, right? So a few days later, I find out that Chris has a girlfriend, and that girl isn't me. Of course, as we girls are naturally wired to, I admit I kind of hated that girl even though I had never actually met her. Thank God she went to Hazelwood West, or else I think I would have really lost it-as in if I had to watch another girl be all over my guy, I would have basically gone insane. As I must point out again, at this point, Chris wasn't my guy in any way or form, but I felt that he was because he was my crush, and I was so obsessed over him.

After that, it all kind of went downhill from there. By that time, I had been obsessed with Chris for almost two months, and there was no stopping me. I completely ignored Chris out of my hate and disdain for his lying ass but that only lasted, hmmm......let's see, one day? Yeah, it only lasted a day-MAYBE two but probably not. Of course, I told my girlfriends-yeah, I must be bi-sexual that I have girlfriends, they are just my friends that are girls-that I was so over Chris and how he was such a jackass for lying to me, but I was totally fine about it. Of course, deep down I knew I wasn't over him. I just let myself believe that I was so it would be easier to cope with the fact that he had had a girlfriend this whole time he had been flirting with me.

Of course, now you must be thinking-WAIT A MINUTE! Is this the same Chris who you are going out with now? Well, actually no, because I'm not going out with Chris because we did break up, but I'll save those details for later. If you're confused now about the first scene in this book about Chris calling me and singing "Our Song", that's because that was a scene when we were going out, but we are not currently going out. But yes, this is the same Chris who I liked from the beginning in Keyboarding class to who I broke up the next summer. Of course, you must be thinking, OMG, HE IS SUCH AN ASS, WHY WOULD YOU GO OUT WITH HIM? But before you jump to conclusions, you must let me explain the whole story.

Of course, I was furious. I actually sent Chris a really nasty email saying how he was a jackass and all. I was a little harsh, but hey, I was hurt. I was justified in my harshness because he had been playing me the whole time, right? Well, we'll get to the real story later because this is what I felt at the time. So now to bring another guy into the story, Derek was there for me in all my fury. Of course, I didn't really hate Chris; I just couldn't. When you like someone that much, you tend to make excuses for them, and you can't hate them. Then I began to dig deep into my times of depression over how Chris didn't like me. Okay, I really wasn't depressed, but I was just kind of messed up over him-like how I complained about him all the time to Derek. For Derek listening to me all the time, especially all of my complaining, I will love him forever.

Derek and I were actually in the same boat because there was this girl Derek had liked for a really long time who was just his friend who he wanted to be his girlfriend. Derek had never kissed a girl before, and I had never kissed a guy before. I know that sounds totally naïve and totally unbelievable, but it was true. Derek and I were together in our woe because Derek's girl actually had a boyfriend at the time. Derek always knew just what to say, and he really got me through all my patheticness. I really was pathetic. I was all boo-hoo-ing over how Chris didn't like me. Yeah, now that I think about it, there are way more important things in life than your crush not liking you. Get over it. That's the thing; I never really got over it-until we started going out, but that even more pathetic story will follow.

Yes, so basically, Derek was getting me through my supposed heartbreak-and when I say supposed, I say it because it really wasn't a heartbreak, I didn't even know Chris that well, I just thought I was going through heartbreak when it was all an illusion-and I was determined to get even with Chris. Okay, so he had a girlfriend; I could get a boyfriend. I quickly found out that this guy named David liked me-in fact, apparently he had liked me for a while. Just on a side note, when the cross country team was coming back from running in Creve Coeur Park, I was waiting for my dad to come pick me up when this football player was trying to hit on me. Then David-at this point, I had no idea that his name was David, I didn't even notice that he existed-came up to me and was asking me if I was okay, that he would totally kick that guy's ass if he bothered me again. And then David continued to ask me if I was in his math class-indeed, I was in his math class, but his presence had seemed to elude me, or maybe I was too busy with my blonde-haired boy to notice anyone else? I shrugged because as far as I knew, I had never seen this guy before in my life.

Soon everyone was talking about David liked me. I was talking to one of my girlfriends about how I wanted David to ask me to the Homecoming dance. Of course, I didn't realize it at the time, but my girlfriend must have talked to David because the next day, David asked me to the Homecoming dance. It must be noted that I really wanted to go to the Homecoming dance with Chris, but he had a girlfriend-which he THANKFULLY didn't take to our Homecoming dance, or else I think I would have died. My main goal was to make Chris as jealous as he possibly could be; so, I said yes. Yes, I know that is a really bad thing to do because I didn't even like David at all. Yes, I knew I was playing with David's mind to make him think I liked him because I said yes to go to the Homecoming dance with him when I was really just trying to make Chris jealous.

Then the next day in Geometry-David was in my Geometry and Lit/Comp classes, and I still hadn't noticed his existence until like two months after school had started because he came up to me and started talking to me, oops-everyone was talking about how David should ask me out officially. And that's exactly what happened after class-I think David was kind of disappointed because everyone was pushing him to ask me out, but he wanted to do it on his own-David asked me out officially. It was three weeks before Homecoming, but I had actually already bought my Homecoming ticket and one for my best friend Chelsea. My best friend from my catholic school was Chelsea, and we both promised each other that we would go to each other's Homecoming dances. I had gone to her Homecoming dance at Incarnate Word Academy, her all-girls school. David was slightly disappointed at my already buying my ticket because he was supposed to buy it because he asked me to Homecoming.

The day or so after that, David gave me his phone number which I embarrassingly lost-but I found it like three months later! Doest that count? So when David questioned me as to why I didn't call him-was I too afraid to call him?-I had to admit that I lost his phone number-I did find it on my floor eventually, and it was kind of funny. So then I decided to give him my cell phone number because I didn't want him to call the house because first of all, I never answer the house phone and second of all, I really didn't want my dad picking the phone if David called. Actually, no one really answers the house phone except my dad because it's always for my dad. Anyone who knows me now knows to call my cell phone because that's the only phone I'll answer. So David called me frequently, and I found myself telling him some stuff about me. Of course, I really didn't say anything important because we all know that I never really liked him, but accepted his invitation not as a pity date but as a make-Chris-jealous date.

I'll never really know if it made Chris jealous or not, but I must say that the day that David asked me out was one of the best of my life-besides the day I broke up with him. Okay, that may sound really harsh or really weird, depending on the type of person you are, but we'll get to that later. So when we were in keyboarding, Chris asked me how I felt. Just out of the blue, Chris said, "How do you feel?" It must be noted that in the entire two months I had known him, Chris had never said those combination of words to me. Of course, at that very moment, I didn't realize the underlying meaning behind Chris's words. How do you feel now that David has asked you out, and he's your boyfriend? Of course, it's entirely possible that Chris didn't mean that, and I'm just overanalyzing it-but the way he said it led me to believe that's what he meant. I don't know why, but it was extremely satisfying to watch Chris squirm and talk about David and me because we were Davidandme.

Of course, as I continue to reiterate this point, I never liked David-which is why I don't count David as a boyfriend, which is probably a little too harsh because he probably counts me as an ex-girlfriend-so there was no trouble in breaking up with him. I had said yes to going to Homecoming with David not because I liked him but because I wanted to make Chris jealous; so, when I really thought about it, I didn't want to go to Homecoming with David. Besides my obvious bitch-like qualities of using a guy to make another guy jealous and even accepting a Homecoming invitation when I didn't like the guy even a little bit, this is where my major bitch-like qualities come into play.

About two weeks into our relationship, I began contemplating how I was going to break up with David. Of course, I really wouldn't call it a relationship anyway, but that is still pretty harsh for poor David. Actually, I think it was more like a week into our relationship when I really thought about breaking up with him. Soon it came to be Monday, the first day of Spirit Week-Homecoming was on Saturday-and I still hadn't broken up with David. As far as I can assume, David was still under the illusion that I was going to Homecoming with him when I really had no intention of going with him pretty much from when he asked me. At the moment I said yes, I didn't realize that I really didn't want to go with him, but it was kind of too late for that.

So David and I usually walked back over to the main building together after my first hour Health class and his French class that was in the Probe building because our school ran out of classrooms, and we had Physical Systems 2nd hour in adjacent classrooms to each other. Mandi and I had already discussed how I was going to break up with him-I had to if I wanted to be a free woman for Homecoming. Mandi was walking beside David and me walking, and she kept saying how I needed to do it-of course, she was less conspicuous than shouting out, JUST BREAK UP WITH HIM ALREADY, but I got the hint because I had actually prodded Mandi earlier in Health class to make sure I broke up with him. In fact, I didn't break up with him during the five minutes it took us to walk over the main building. I didn't break up with him during the time it took us to walk up three flights of stairs to our third floor classes. In fact, I didn't break up with him before we walked into my classroom, his classroom being the door to the right inside my classroom. Indeed, it was almost until the bell rang for class to begin before I could finally look him in the eye and tell him the oldest breakup line I have ever heard-but I used it because I didn't know what else to say, and I really just wanted to get rid of him.

To my surprise, David didn't even say anything. He just said okay. He didn't question why I was oh-so suddenly breaking up with him right then and there. Well, it must be noted that David had been constantly asking me why I liked him ever since he asked me out. He never really believed that I liked him-and of course, he had reason to believe that because it was true. So I guess he wasn't all that shocked that I broke up with him. According to my sources, the poor boy looked crushed all day. As to the breakup line I used, I'm not going to even repeat it because it was too awful to even think about. If you go track down David and ask him, he might just tell you, but I doubt it because he probably wants to protect his ego and pride. But let's just say that my breakup line never happened. It never does work; it's just a false consolation to the person you are breaking up with that everything is going to be okay between the two of you when it's not. In fact, I barely talked to David in the few months that followed our oh-so sudden breakup. To this day, I never really talk to David the same way.