The Undiscovered Country

Self-deception

"The first and worst of all frauds is to cheat one's self."

-- Phillip James Bailey

Are you hiding in some way from your own inner light?

I wouldn't dream of stealing things but I do steal from my own potential. I can be a master at rationalizing, at justifying why it's not the right time to do something challenging. My arguments seem valid but deep down, I know they're excuses.

We're all masters at self-deception. I've given good examples from this 7-day writing challenge alone.

It began with the first day when I proclaimed my writing of late as shallow. Many of you disagreed.

Two days later, I described how I used to think I was ugly, and how it took over 10 years to change my mind.

I deceive myself in other ways. For instance, I'm a great writer, and I'm a terrible writer, two thoughts that can occur in the same day if not the same hour.

Which is true?

Both and neither.

I can write great things, from 100-word stories to journal entries to novels. I can also write terrible things from 100-word stories to journal entries to novels. I still have the first drafts to prove it.

The problem with self-deception is that it drives us to move forward too quickly (when I submitted a novel after only the second draft and was politely told my writing sucked), or stops us in our tracks (I have many a short story and article collecting virtual dust on my computer).

So how do we avoid or rid ourselves of these deceptions?

Move forward, even if too quickly. I didn't know my writing needed improvement until someone told me. I also didn't know how good I could write until I allowed others to read my words.

My excuse now for not submitting my writing is sheer laziness. Oh, sure, I could claim Busy Mom, but I managed to make time for this 7-day challenge, didn't I?

Editing and submitting my work shouldn't take any more effort. Even an hour a day can make a big difference.

So what's holding me back? Digging deep, it's due to the comfort of my dream to be published. Dreaming is easy; making it come true is hard. It means having to face both failure and success, two things that scare me in equal measure.

No one likes to fail, but writing success means tackling different kinds of work such as promotion, and writing more books that entertain and inspire as much or moreso to keep whatever fan-base I gain consistent and growing.

Can you tell writing has been on my mind lately?