The Undiscovered Country

Labels limit us

"When I let go of what I am,
I become what I might be."

-- Lao Tzu

How do you define yourself, to yourself and others? Are you first and foremost a husband/wife? A mother/father? A bus driver, dentist, musician ... ? A Christian, Moslem, Jew ...? A nag, joker, dreamer ...?

Be aware that any label puts limits on you.

In reading Lau Tzu's quote, the first label I thought of was how ugly I am.

While I don't believe that now, as I grew up and as far as into my twenties, I knew I was ugly.

When a person is told something often enough, and by different people, it becomes the truth. And growing up, people told me I was ugly.

It didn't devastate me; in fact it freed me in many ways. I didn't have to try to keep up my outward beauty, but instead concentrate on what was inside me. I paid close attention to my schoolwork, and tried to be the best person I could be. It taught me humility and empathy.

I see how labels can limit a person. Thinking I was ugly prevented me from trying out for beauty contests, going to school dances (after all no one wants to dance with an ugly girl), and even sports and other extra-curricular activities. It hindered any social life to be sure.

Because of that, I still have to work on socializing with many people. One on one, and slowly getting to know a person I can do. But going to parties surrounded by people I've never met, and you are looking at one serious wall flower.

As for the rest of the quote above, I admit I define myself by what I do. I am a Registered Land Surveyor, wife, and mother. I am also a Christian, a dreamer, a writer, and a few others I'm sure, but my decaffeinated brain can't come up with more at the moment.

Will I always remain those things? No. I will not always be a land surveyor. I may get fired, or the company may go out of business, and if no other surveying jobs are available, I'll have to try something new.

For many on my list, I hope so, although the order of the list may change now and again. For instance, when I'm at work, I'm a surveyor first. Right now I'm a writer first. When I'm with my husband and son, I am a wife and mother. Yet I always stay a Christian and even a dreamer.

Gotta have dreams, for without them, the labels we place on ourselves, or are forced on us by others never change or grow.