The Undiscovered Country

Open to possibilities

"Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities -- always see them, for they're always there."

-- Dr. Norman Vincent Peale

Sometimes I wish thinking positive came natural. How easy life would be then, to always see the possibilities in the midst of the complete black of my life. But how can I see the possibilities when I'm blinded by the dark?

When my day starts out the wrong way, whether it be not enough sleep, a bad dream, or darn it, why didn't my husband leave me any hot water for my shower, invariably the rest of the day spirals downward with speeds increasing exponentially as the hours go by.

Yet I consider myself lucky - or even blessed. I have a bad day. So what? The next day usually turns out much better. I can almost count on it. Not so for many others. I take advantage of the blessings in my life which include family, friends, and want for no material things. I don't have to worry about where my next meal will come from, or whether or not I have some place to sleep tonight.

So really, how can I not see the possibilities, when I've never really been in the dark? I've never been oppressed; no one will stop me from voting for my candidates of choice, I can go to church, attend a Bible study without a word from anyone, if I need something at the store, pfft, no problem. It's but a few blocks away.

Why then do people have to write books on the power of positive thinking? How is it the book entitled "The Secret" make hefty waves?

Is it because no matter how good our lives are, we're never satisfied? Or is it something else, something we can't gain from the physical world?

Humans are spiritual creatures as well as physical ones. If we lack spiritual contentment, no amount of material wealth will make up for it - though we do try, don't we?

I think most of you consider me a positive person - that 'vivacious' is a well-chosen handle for me.

Truth is I have to work at it sometimes.

But I'm motivated, because I know what it's like to despair, to feel as if tomorrow wasn't worth living long enough to see. Having contemplated suicide three times in my life (twice as a teenager, and once in my early twenties), I found also there was always light - however small at first. The light came in different forms: One was a voice telling me I was forgiven of my terrible deed, the second was a friend who leant me a sympathetic ear, and the third was a vision of what killing myself would actually look like, and it scared me straight.

Each time I attribute to God watching out for me. In the end, my positive outlook boils down to him and his promise to always give me the strength and wisdom to endure whatever befalls me. I cry, groan and complain during those darker times, but each time I rise above it stronger, wiser, and closer to God.

Now if only I'd always remember that as I endure those dark moments, and not after it's all said and done.