Dear Lucy

September 21st - October 3rd

                                                                                                                   September, 21st, 2008

Dear Lucy!


I didn't sleep very well, last night. It's not like I had a bad dream or something. At first I just couldn't get comfortable. I was rolling around in bed, from one side to the other and just couldn't find that one position where you're able to relax in. You know that feeling? It's just like parts of your body are always in the wrong place. Mostly your arms. Then you wish you could cut them off and put them back on the next morning.

I think I fell asleep past two o'clock. I must have been in some kind of daze before that though. That uneasy feeling the situation from yesterday had given me, just didn't let go off me. And pictures of the woman jumping off the roof crossed my mind. And when I did fall asleep, I only had weird dreams. I can't even put my fingers on what it was exactly. But I woke up at 5:50 a.m. without the alarm. I didn't bother to try to fall asleep again.
And that is where we are now. I still have a bit before having to get ready for work and  since I don't know what else to do until then, I've decided to write to you. The only problem, I have no idea what I'm going to write.

I don't think, today will be a very special day. Though I'm off work by 3 p.m. already. It's Friday, so we're allowed to leave work early. I will have to go shopping again. It's stupid when you have no car because you're able to buy only small loads that you're able to carry in a rucksack. Oh well, the exercise will do me good. I haven't done much sports in the last few weeks. So I guess, the bike ride will be good for me. Writing that, I am thinking about also getting myself to start with jogging again. I could do so now...it's getting light already. Sooo, maybe that would be a good chance.....Nah, I'll start tomorrow.

What else am I going to do today? I was thinking about going to the cinema. It's a bit boring alone, but at least that way I get out of my walls and don't sit alone on my couch. On a Friday night. We'll see about that.

For now though, I will go and get me a coffee. Then take a shower so I wake up properly before work.

I hope, you'll have a nice day yourself. Talk ,or better, write to you later.

Take care.

Yours,

                                    Myra



Dear Lucy...again!

It's 03:23 o'clock in the morning and I just came home. Wouw! As I had planed out, I was at the cinema today. But, let's start with the rest of the day.

I went to work. Even though I hadn't slept too well last night, as I have told you already, I wasn't too tired. Nothing special happened. Phone calls and internet orders.
I have to admit though, I went back to the roof for my lunch break. Of course because I needed a smoke. But also, because I wanted to see if the woman was there again. I just want to know if she's okay. It's not going off my mind. I tried to forget about the situation. But it just won't go away. Now, don't you say that I'm crazy. It's just that the situation was so strange. And somehow I had hoped that she would be there again. Just for me to see that she is okay. Nothing else. Of course, she wasn't. It made my heart drop a bit when I went up there and didn't find her sitting on the wall. I guess though, that it's a good sign. Or maybe I stole that quiet retreat from her when I disturbed her yesterday. Oh well, I'll never know.
So, I left the roof with all the questions still vivid in my head. I didn't dare asking any of my colleagues though if they knew her. I don't have that much contact with the others anyway. We have our small tables with the headsets and computers in front of us. It's a rather big room and everyday you sit somewhere else to answer the phones. Everyday beside someone else. Plus, since I'm only passing this department, I don't want to get too used to it.

The rest of the day I went shopping. And, as I had promised myself, I also did a little run along the river. Not very far, but it was nice to be outside. The weather is still pretty nice and I love to feel the fresh air around me. It was really busy down by the river. Lot's of people jogging and on their roller skates. This time I went into the other direction of town. The town has done a very good job there with a separate bike's path and one for people on foot. I think I ran for about 25 to 30 minutes in total. Back home I took a shower and a short nap on my couch.

Then I went to the cinema. Watched ൤ weeks later" - a very good horror movie. I had watched ൤ days later" in the cinema with Jasmin. I liked the film back then and I liked the second part today as well. Even though I am a bit of a romantic and prefer romantic comedies or romantic movies. Oh yeah, I'll tell you about Jasmin at a different time.

After the cinema which is situated down by the river at  what they call the "old harbour" I wanted to get a snack at a filling station. The station is a bit further up the road from the cinema and I had to walk past a club - called "Magic Mountain". Going past it I saw mostly girls standing outside. Girls with girls. In between some boys. Boys with boys.
From the looks of the people standing at the door, I quickly realised what kind of club it was. A poster on one of the windows of the club confirmed my assumption: it was a gay club. Or at least, a gay party.

I'm a club's person. I love to go out and have a good time. Usually, I don't get drunk, but I like the taste of a good shake. And to dance all night until I'm barely able to stand.
Going out alone though, I hadn't done yet. It's more fun when you go to a club with a bunch of friends or your partner. So, it really tickled me to go in there and have a look. And maybe a drink. But at first I didn't really dare to. I walked past it, having a closer look at the people entering the club. I think I caught some attention from some of the girls, stealing glances at me. But I just continued on stoically.

It's stupid to be alone in a new town, where you don't know anybody. Luckily I'm not someone who is too afraid of people. I'm open enough to go and talk to others if they seem to be nice people. Still, it was a bit of a fight for me to go back to that club. Instead I hid in the station for a bit, getting a small snack. Eating it, I watched the people on the street. Then a bunch of girls came into the station, buying themselves some sweets. From their looks and behaviour  it was quickly clear to me where they came from or were about to go to. One of the girls, a cute brunette gave me a big grin and winked at me when she saw me standing at the back of the room. I was surprised that she so quickly realised where I'm coming from.

Yes, indeed, you guessed right, I'm gay as well. I like women. Tataaaaa! I have to say, I LOVE women.
It feels to me like I always have. But of course I didn't know since my childhood. It was a bit of a painful way to become myself. These days though, I'm through with that and I fully accept who I am. I love who I am. And most people don't have a problem with me. At least not because of my "gayness". I am who I am and I can't and don't want to change that. I've learned to say that if you have a problem with that, don't be around me. Easy as that. But believe me, it did take me some time to learn to think that way.

Okay, I'm drifting off. That's another story. For now I want to talk about tonight. Where was I? Oh, yes, the girls at the station. Especially the one that gave me the grin. She was cute. Football type. Cute short brown hair, spiky. Brown eyes, sweet grin. Wearing blue jeans and tight T-shirt. When she grinned at me I couldn't stop myself and winked back at her. Her face immediately blushed into a bright red and she turned away. Busying herself with the magazines at the front of the room. I had to laugh to myself silently. It felt good to flirt. Still a bit strange though. I'm not used to it anymore. I'm just out of a long term relationship. And I mean, loooooooong term.  Six years. To start flirting again now, is still a bit of a weird feeling. But I guess I have to get used to it again. I don't want to stay alone forever. And, as I said, I love women and flirting is fun as well.

Unfortunately the girl's friends were soon done at the station and they left to go back to the club. The girl looked back to me when leaving the room and gave me another grin. I felt my eyes follow her. She did too and blushed yet again. Her friends quickly realised her attention floating off somewhere to the back of the station's room. All three of them risked a quick glance and then started giggling. They poked their friend and waved at me when outside the station. I swear, if possible, the girl's face turned even redder and she grabbed her friends by the arms and pulled them away, towards the club. I had to shake my head and laughed. It had been fun. And it gave me enough courage to go out and check out the club myself.

It was busy there. When I went in, I felt every girl's eyes on me. Fresh meat, I suppose. I had a quick look around. Not at the people, but at the place first. This club has a nice ambience. The red and yellow lights let you feel warm and comfortable. There is enough room for people to sit and have a chat at the bar or on sofas by the wall. And enough space for people to dance without falling over each others feet. The air is clear and not as muggy as in other clubs. From my first impression I have to say that I really liked that place.

I decided to grab a cocktail from the bar first. Then went to stand near the dance floor to get a good look at the people in the club. Unfortunately I didn't see the girl from the station again - yet. It took me a while to get really comfortable enough to go out and dance. But just watching all the girls and listening to the music was good, as well. If you know what I mean.
When I did get a move on and got myself to go out on the dance floor, I was immediately sucked in by that feeling, dancing gives me. And I knew it would be a long time until I would be able to get home.

And then, in between Justin Timberlake and Rhianna, my eyes fell onto the "station girl" again. She was dancing a few feet away from me, in a group with her friends. At first she didn't see me and I didn't know if I should have a go for it. The answer to that question found itself when one of her friends saw me and immediately, without thinking, grabbed the girl's arm. She pulled her close to herself and whispered something into her ear. The girl shot around and our eyes met. Even with the red - yellow lights I could see her blush yet again. I gave her a grin and a nod. Her body shot around, turning her back to me.

Now, what to do next?! A thousand "pick-up" phrases crossed my mind. Each one sounding more stupid than the other. I guess I was a bit too held back because after a few minutes the girl and her friends moved away from the dance floor and out of my sight. Not before giving me another wink. Was it an invitation to follow? I don't know. I'm so out of training!
I didn't dare to follow because I didn't want to seem too direct. The thirst drove me back to the bar a bit later. The exact moment when she was leaning against it, waiting for the busy bar keepers attention.

And before realising what I did, I was stood beside her. I felt my lips move without really knowing what I was saying.

"You look cute when you blush." Now, THAT was a good way to start a conversation, hm!? I hope you get the irony.
Her eyes met mine. She grinned and, yes, blushed. I had to grin as well.
What to say next!?! Damn it! I swear to you, it always looks so easy when you see others do it. But when you're in that position - duh!
"You're not bad either." she said, after leaning up to me. Standing closer to her, I realised that I was about two heads taller than her.
I wanted to answer something. Promised. But right at that moment, the bar keeper turned to me and asked what I wanted.
I was speechless for a second. Then I felt the girl's eyes on me and I said, with a sideway nod to the form beside me:
"Whatever she wants, double it." Risky, risky. I got a Pina Colada. Nice. I paid for both of them. We stood beside each other for a few seconds, sipping our drinks. She started the conversation.
"So, you're new here? I haven't seen you before."
I felt my brow raising.
"Yes. I only moved to town three weeks ago. I guess you're here often?"
"Well, the party is on every third Friday in the month and I try to be here whenever I find the time to do so."
She shrugged her shoulders and took another sip from her cocktail.
"It's nice. Where are your friends?"
"I don't know. They will busy themselves." She winked at me and made it clear that she didn't plan to leave me standing at the bar alone. I was impressed. At how easy it had been to get picked up. Well, okay, it wasn't like I got picked up already. We were only starting. But if everything went well.....
Seriously, standing there and chatting with the girl, my head started spinning after a while. Was I or better, am I, ready for something new? It's not over for long with Jasmin, my ex-girlfriend. She left her imprints on my heart. We broke  up in friendship, as you say. But still, my heart was aching for her. Six years is a long time. Six years you can't forget in five weeks. Six years is a lot of good times and a lot of bad times. Six years is a deep connection.
I took a sideway glance at the girl beside me. She was cute, no question. She had told me her name was Nadja and that she was 19. Jeez! A bit young for me. She was surprised to find out that I was 24. But didn't seem to be that bothered about it. People usually think I'm younger than I am. Still, I myself, wasn't so sure about our age gap. But then again, I told myself, that it wasn't as if I was jumping into a relationship with Nadja immediately.
We talked a bit more and then I asked her if she wanted to dance. We ended up dancing for the rest of the night. No close dances. Just some relaxed dancing beside each other. I didn't even touch her. Didn't dare to. I don't know if she had wanted me to. She didn't make a go for it. But it was fun anyway. And in the end, she gave me her telephone number. And a small peck on the cheek. I grinned at her and she blushed. We laughed when we both realized it. She took my hand and said:
"I really had fun tonight. Call me, okay?" I nodded and stuffed the piece of paper into the pockets of my trousers. We both went our separate ways after that.

I know, I know. You will say, I should have had a go for it. Who cares? I'm single and she obviously as well. At least she didn't mention a girl friend. So why not grab the chance? I had two one night stands after Jasmin. I did. I had hoped they would help me feel better. Which they did, for one night. But then the emptiness she had left inside of me had returned the next morning.
And today I hadn't been in the mood for that. It was good to have some relaxed fun but then to go back home alone. I hadn't planed on more. And it felt good.

That's where I am now. At home, in bed. Alone. Do I wish Nadja was here with me now and that I would be doing something different than writing in my diary? No. Really. I'm good. I had fun and now I will sleep. I feel comfortable alone in my bed. Of course it would be better to have someone to snuggle up against. But it's good. I'm good.

And I hope you're good as well. Have a good night.

Yours,

                                        Myra





                                                                                                                       October, 1st, 2007
Dear Lucy!

Oh, oh. It's been over a week that I haven't written to you. Damn, I knew this would happen. I'm sorry. I really am very sorry.
But don't worry. Not much has happened in the last week.
On the weekend after my club experience I stayed at home most of the time. I did some work on my computer. Updated my 'Myspace' profile. Watched some funny videos on 'youtube' Stuff like that.
During the week, work. Nothing special either. Besides that my boss advanced me to the next department. Where I had my first day today. It's the "buying department". My work is a bit more difficult now. It's mostly computer work. Sometimes talking to people on the phone. I have to go through lists of the products we sell and see what we have to order from our suppliers. Or check out what doesn't sell too well  and take it out of our list. I sit in a bureau with a guy called Mark. He's nice. Our bureau is on the second level and just one of about ten or so other ones. Of different departments. I'm not sure if I have to go through all of them until my boss puts me on my proper job. I'm looking forward to working in the web design department though. That's what I came to this company for. I really hope that it will work out and that I get that job. For now though, I have to stick with this one.

The job is okay. Mark is a bit older than me. I haven't asked him yet, but he must be in his mid thirties. Nice guy. Married with two children. He immediately showed me the pictures of his family. Lucky guy.

My work time hasn't changed much. Even though I went home early today because I got the greatest head ache ever. I was a bit worried that it wouldn't leave such a good picture of me if I'm ill in my third week already. But Mark assured me that it was okay. There weren't too many people at work today anyway. Wednesday is a bank holiday. That's why many colleagues took Monday and Tuesday off for a short holiday.

I really hope I'm not getting ill. Already took some painkillers and at the moment my headache has disappeared. I hope it stays away. I will go lay down on the couch after I've finished this.

Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you, I met with Nadja. I had stuck her telephone number on my fridge. Went past it every day but couldn't get myself to call her. Not, that I didn't like her. Far from it! But, I just don't know. As I said, I don't know if I'm ready to go for something new already. On Wednesday last week though, I took all my courage and phoned her. I told myself, that even when we're not ending up in a relationship or something, it would be nice to meet someone and have a good time. I will see what will happen.

She was happy to hear me. A bit surprised that I really called. I guess she hadn't expected it since I didn't call her for half a week. We went out together. Nothing serious. Just for a cup of coffee. She showed me around town. Showed me some student bars and coffee shops. Told me where I could get my hair cut for cheap. Useful stuff like that.

I don't know what her plans are with me.  We had a break in a cafe that is situated on top of a small shopping centre. You have an incredibly few over the south part of Würzburg and onto the castle. The weather was nice and the place was packed with people. We chatted for some time. Of course our conversation also passed the subject of our recent relationships. I used that moment to tell her, that I'm not sure if I'm out for a relationship with someone. I didn't put in her name. I tried to keep it as a general statement. And I had a close look at her reaction. It was a bit of a scary moment. Would she immediately pull back from me? Or stay and we could try to go from there? She didn't show much of a reaction. Just lowered her eyes for a split second then looked back up at me and smiled softly. She said it was okay with her and that she wasn't hunting for a relationship at the moment either. Said generally as well. We understood each other and I hope we will be able to go from there and do whatever life has to offer to us.

It was nice to spend the day with her. I hope we'll be able to do that again soon.

Besides all of that, nothing worth writing about has happened. I hope there will be more happening this week. More exciting stuff to tell you....

Yours,

                                      Myra



         

                                                                                                                     October, 2nd, 2007


Dear Lucy!

I saw her again. We passed each other on the floor to my office. I think she has hers on the same level. But I'm not sure.
Who? The woman from the roof!! Walking along the floor in the morning, I saw a woman coming towards me. At first I didn't realize that it was her. She was dressed business style, but in a casual way. In her hands she was carrying some papers, half the way reading through them, half the way looking up to not run into anybody. She looked gorgeous and I found myself staring at her as we passed.
The woman lifted her head only for a quick smile. But it was enough for our eyes to meet. They were in a deep brown colour and pulled me in immediately. I felt my heart stop for a split second.

I'm not sure if she recognized me as the person from the roof. And I couldn't read her face as her gaze dropped back to the work in her hands quickly. She mumbled a "Hi!" though. But I think it was more a greeting between colleagues than a sign that she remembered me.

"Hi!" I answered and stopped. I felt the need to ask her if everything was okay again. But my lips just didn't move. The woman went on, not paying me any more attention. Then she disappeared into one of the rooms at the other end of the floor. And my chance was gone.

At least now I knew, that she was working in the same company as me. And today she looked well. No teary eyes. Just a friendly smile around her lips. That was more than I had expected ever to see from the stranger again. It felt good to know, that she was okay. Even though I don't know her or have any connection to her, I had been really worried. Now I knew that there was no reason to be. I sighed and went to my own bureau. Mark had been waiting already for me, as he wanted to introduce me to a new program. Until lunch break.

I wasn't hungry at midday. Mark had asked me if I wanted to come along with him to town to grab something to eat. But I refused. Maybe I really am getting ill. I don't know.
Anyway, I decided to use the last days of late summer and the good weather. So I went back up to the roof to have a cigarette and take a small bath in the sun. You never know when winter's coming and since I love to feel the sun's warmth on my skin, the roof is a good place. And I swear, it had nothing, absolutely nothing to do with what had happened there the last time. I swear.

On my way up to the roof, I have to walk past the bureau the woman had disappeared in this morning. I didn't mean to, but when passing it, I stole a glance at the sign beside the door:

                                                  FINANCE
                                                Dana Mhore

My eyes wandered over the door and I realised that it wasn't closed properly. It was open enough for me to be able to look inside while walking past. The woman, I guess she must be Dana, was sat at a desk. She was going over some papers, pen in one hand, the other fingers playing with the page in front of her. Luckily she didn't see me observing her. Oh god! I'm like a stupid stalker. Don't laugh. It's not funny.

And I don't mean her no harm or anything. It was just my curiosity getting the best of me. I didn't disturb her but instead went on. Yes, I could have gone in there and asked her if everything was okay with her. But I didn't. She looks fine and it's none of my business anyway. Plus, I got my answer a bit later anyway.

I went up to the roof and put on a cigarette. No, I still haven't stopped smoking. I'll start tomorrow. Or maybe the day after tomorrow.
Anyway, while I was up there, bathing in the sun and taking in the beautiful view over the town, I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didn't realize someone coming up beside me.

"It's a beautiful day."

I shot around and stared into two brown eyes. Taking me in, with visible amusement written all over her face, was the woman. THE woman. Dana.

I didn't know what to answer because I was so surprised that she suddenly stood beside me. She laughed and turned towards the brink of the roof.
"Sorry for startling you." she said, looking out over the town.

"No, I...it's okay." I stammered. Damn! I behaved like a little child that got caught stealing chocolate. And I hadn't even done anything forbidden.

We stood beside each other for a few silent moments. Don't you hate when that happens? When there is nothing coming from either, the other person or yourself. And all you can think about is how to quickly find a subject to talk about. Anything I could think of was too stupid to mention. Luckily I had my cigarette to busy myself with. That's the best about smoking. You're often able to hide behind it when you're stood with people and don't know what to say or don't want to talk.

"Look, I..." the woman turned her head to me again. Her arms were folded over her chest and she seemed a bit nervous. "I just wanted to say sorry for...not being very nice to you the last time."
I felt a frown on my face. There hadn't been anything wrong about her behaviour. So I didn't really know what she meant with it. And I didn't understand why she of all people needed to say sorry to me. After all it had been me who had disturbed her.
She must have misinterpreted my look, as she pointed over her shoulder to the corner behind her, where she had sat the last time.
"You don't remember?"

"Oh, of course! Yes, I do remember. It's just that you don't need to say sorry for anything. If so, it would be me, who has to say sorry."
I gave her a smile, trying to reassure her that she had done nothing wrong.

"You!?"
She seemed stunned by my explanation. She folded her arms back over her chest. "Why would you have to say sorry?"

"Because I disturbed you. I'm sorry. I guess all you wanted was a minute for yourself. And then little me comes and tries to force a chat on you." I had to grin at her.

"Oh no, that was absolutely okay. It was...." she paused and looked at me again. Our eyes met and she smiled at me. "...very sweet of you."

I felt myself blush. I don't know why. Normally I don't react like that. Today I did and I had to lower my face in the hope that she didn't catch my reaction.
She didn't show any signs if she had seen it or not. Instead she reached out a hand to me.
"By the way, my name is...."

"Dana." I blabbered out. Faux pas! Damn it! 

Again I got another surprised look from her. "How do you..." she was about to drop her hand, but my arm shot out and I caught her hand in mine. Her hand shake was gentle, her skin felt warm against mine.

"Oh, I saw your name by the door to your bureau." I got irritated suddenly. What if it hadn't been her bureau? And, what would she think that I'm sneaking in on her. "That was your bureau you were working in, right?"

She didn't answer but nodded.

"Look, I'm sorry. I just saw you again walking past me this morning. And then, when I was walking past your door and I saw you sitting in the room, my eyes just fell onto the sign. I didn't mean to...." The words were coming out of my mouth like a waterfall. There was no way I could stop them. They came and came and came.

Dana freed her hand  from mine with a gentle pull. I hadn't even realised I had still been holding hers. Then she laughed and raised a hand.
"Stop, stop. It's okay. I don't mind."

I exhaled in relieve. I had feared she would get really pissed at me. Instead she gave me another warm smile.

"You're new?" she asked curiously. Her eyes travelled back to the view over the town.

I took another pull from my cigarette and pushed it on the wall of the roof in front of us.
"Yes. I moved here about four weeks ago."

"For this work arrangement?" I felt Dana's eyes watching me squeeze out my cigarette.

"Yes."

"It's a good place to work in." She turned around and half leaned, half sat down on the projection of the roof wall. Her arms were crossed over her chest again. She looked at me.

"Yes, it seems a lot of nice people are working here." I tried to fight it but a cheeky grin flew over my lips. Dana laughed and looked to her feet. Had I seen a small blush on her cheeks as well? I don't know. It passed as fast as it had come.

Another moment of silence fell in between us. I used that instant to have a closer look at her. As I had thought the last time, she was maybe a head smaller than me. Maybe around her thirties. I didn't ask. Her skin was tanned from the summer sun. Her eyes warm and with a friendly glance in them. She seemed like someone who did a lot of sports. Fit body with female curves. Strong, yet not too strong arms. I had to fight to look away from her again. She was a very attractive woman, but I didn't mean to try to hit on her. And I didn't want her to see what I thought about her. Plus, during my small inspection of her, I also saw a small, but very obvious golden ring staring back at me from her finger. The good ones are always taken, flew through my mind.

"So...uhm....may I ask...about the last time...." I took all my courage. In the end all that came out, were a few stuttered words.

Even just looking at her from the side, I saw a small flicker of pain fly over her face. She nodded, her hair falling into her face.

"Everything is okay." Dana answered the question I hadn't even asked properly yet. It didn't sound honest. And the way her answer shot out of her  mouth, took me a bit back.

"Are you sure?" I carefully asked trying to catch her eyes. But she didn't look up, busying herself with her feet.

"Yes, everything is fine." She finally said again and stood up straight. Our eyes met and I immediately saw that she was lying. Don't ask me what it was. I just saw it in the way she looked at me. There was a deep pain hiding in her eyes.

It let my heart drop. I had to fight hard for my brow not to raise. Apparently she didn't want me to know what had been or was the problem. And who was I to push further?

"Anyway, I have to get back to work. It was nice talking to you." Dana forced another soft smile onto her lips and reached for my hand again. I took hers and smiled back. After a short hand shake, this time I paid attention to let go of her quicker, she stepped away from me. At first backwards, arms over her chest again, smiling at me. Then she dropped her eyes and turned towards the door. I looked after her. Another time that she left me with that uneasy feeling behind.

"Dana?"

She stopped and turned half way to look at me. "Yes?"

"My name is Myra Schreiner." A grin played around my lips. I didn't want for us to part with this strange feeling.

Dana smiled and nodded.
"Have a good day, Myra." she said, before entering the building and leaving me alone with my thoughts.

I tell you, this is all so strange. One moment we were chatting like two new colleagues. The next she can't get away from me fast enough, it seems. What is it, that this woman is bothered by so much that she doesn't want to talk about it?

But then again, why would she want to talk to me about it? Maybe I was a bit too straight forward. Pushed to hard at the wrong instant. It just had felt like it WAS the right moment. Like we knew each other since forever and it was normal for us to talk about stuff. To talk with each other about our problems. But that was obviously not the case and I doubt I would have wanted to tell her about the bad sides of my life. Still, why did she run off like that?

I can't help it. It feels like she would really need someone to talk to. And maybe, just maybe, I could be that person. Not, because I like the way she looks or something. Don't get me wrong. I'm not saying that I don't think she's attractive. But, no, that's not the reason why I so much would like to talk to her. I don't know what is driving me. And I should stop it. Right now. I'm not her friend and we're not even proper colleagues.

Okay, let's skip the rest of the day. Just that much: when I went back into the building she was gone already. Walking past her door, it was closed this time. I didn't see her again today. I don't know how long she works. And I didn't sit by the door to wait and see when she's leaving her bureau.
As I said, let's skip the rest of the day. I'm tired and will go to bed now.

I hope to talk to you again soon.

Yours,

                    Myra





                                                                                                                        October, 3rd, 2007

Dear Lucy!


Today is a bank holiday. It's 12:38 p.m. and I only got up about ten minutes ago. I must have slept like a stone. I fell asleep as soon as my head had hit the pillow.
Now I'm sat by my breakfast table and realise that the time for breakfast is already over since a few hours.
I don't know what to do today. The sun is shining and I should go out and maybe check out that city beach. Maybe Nadja would like to come.

On the other hand, I don't feel very much like company today. I don't know why. I'm still tired and might just be a couch potato today. My nose is starting to sizzle. Never a good sign. And I really, really am so not in the mood to get ill. I hate it.

For now, I'm going to take a hot bath.

Have a nice day....

Yours,


                    Myra