What am I Doing Here?

Still thinking things over

Well this is one week post death of Pumpkin. I am still analyzing the last week and how I might have been on my toes for any signs or symptoms about his health conditon.
1. The technicians at the clinic said that on Thursday, he looked 'fine.'
2. His changes came within one day's time.
3. The doctor of oncology said that since he had surgery, something might have ruptured.
4. I was not able to get the animal communicator to help me.
5. He was vomitting a little.
I am still amazed that the doctors and the animal communicator did not call me to inqurire what happened. I would want to know.
I did call Dr. M. E. who explained her decision about taking the risk and the mention about the surgical problem reasserting itself.
A good friend who wanted to make me feel better (?) game me his sympathy and responded:
1. No one lives forever. True.
2. He is not suffering or in pain now. True.
3. I did the best I could. I would hope so.

Why do I keep asking "Why did he have to die this way?"
I gave him a good chance and he looked like he was going to make it. He was putting on weight at first. He was also eating on his own. "Why did our efforts fail?"
Should I have gone with the homeopathic only?
I did say that to the doctor that I would never use the oncology at GCVS again. They are 2 for 2 in losing my pets with their I think, experimental efforts.
The one thing that I can say and you can quote me, "I HATE CANCER!" I will sing from the roof top on the day that they discover a cure.
Until then---I till miss you Pumpkin and Mighty Mouth. I hope that you both are in kitty heaven and back to the beautiful boys I loved. :(