Grandma's Pearls

Feeling better

But enough for nowOK, I'm feeling better today but not completely well yet.It seems that I have gotten a cold on top of sinus problems, on top of allergies, on top of just being rundown from lack of sleep. I have been pretty stressed about getting out of here and getting back to my home state. I really miss my sisters and brothers. I talk to them regularly, but it isn't the same as being there. So, I'm on pins and needles these days. It is the waiting that gets to me. I absolutely hate waiting for something that seems like a pipe dream. We are going to move but on my husbands time table. That is what bothers me about the waiting. He has his time table and it makes perfect sense, as usual, but it just isn't fast enough for me. I wanted to be there for the one year anniversary of my mom's death. I wanted to spend that time with my brothers and sisters. I know that they will go to mom's place( now one of my sisters place) and I know that they will have a big family
bar-b-que and all of that kind of stuff. It is what mom would want us to do. She loved to cook-out and have all of her kids together. We were all together for the six weeks before she passed away, peacefully. I was there this time last year and I can feel the pull to be there now! You never really know how much you miss something until you re-visit that something and then leave again.

My husband has not been back to my home state since we left there 16 years ago. He has seen his brother only once since then. His brother came to visit and have Thanksgiving dinner with us about 2 years after we moved here. He hasn't seen him since then. I have been trying to get him to go visit his brother and check out the job market there, then come back here. When he does that, he will want to move as badly as I do. The only problem with moving, my 2nd daughter. She is married to the world's biggest A-hole. He has the crappiest attitude and he treats her like she is something to be scraped off the bottom of his shoe. On top of that, he treats one of his daughters like that and the other like she is a little princess and she should have everything in her life that she could possibly want. Yes, he plays favorites with his children, just like his parent's did him. It is wrong and it is going to interfere with the special bond that sisters have. It is going to make one resent the other and that is just evil. My daughter says she wants to leave him, but at this point, I'm not sure if she can. I'm not sure she has the fortitude that will be necessary for her to be able to pack up her girls and go. She says she wants to leave for her daughters. Her oldest in particular. She doesn't want her to grow up hating the world and everyone in it. That is probably what is going to happen if she doesn't get her away from the racist, antagonistic, sarcastic, eog-maniacal, self-depricating, dillusional father. Yes, he is all that and more. He expects the oldest girl to be perfect and make no mistakes, ever! She isn't allowed to go anywhere or do anything with friends because she doesn't have any. Her father runs them all off because they aren't the right kind of people for her to be around. He is so strict on her that she cries if he tries to help her with her homework. The reason, he calls her stupid and retarded if she doesn't understand the first time, then he gets really mad if she is still having a problem and he will try to ground her or take away something of hers or make threats of that nature to her. In truth, he scares the hell out of her, but not her little sister. I just don't understand how someone can have a favorite child. I treated all of my kids equally and I love all of them the same. But, enough for now. I'll be back in a few days or tomorrow.