Battle Group Epsilon

Chapter 27

Chapter 27

June 3 2158, 17:40 Hours (Pacific Time)
Newport Beach California, Former United States of America

Allen sat in the driver's seat of his sedan. The vehicle was parked on a small cliff overlooking the ocean. His finger tapped against the steering wheel even though the engine was shut off. He stared at the two items that rested on the passenger's seat. He had to choose one.
Outside the sun was shining. It was a warm day and a fragrant breeze carried the smell of the sea through the open window. Allen looked in the mirror and adjusted his sunglasses. They had crept too far up the bridge of his nose. He then combed his dark hair with his fingers. After though, his gaze was lured back to passenger seat.
The first object was a small black box. He reached out and touched its velvety skin. He had gone to the jewelry store three weeks ago to buy it. Allen had known which ring he would get much longer than that though. It was a simple ring, nothing elaborate. The diamond was finely cut. The man that sold it to him had told him so repeatedly. Allen was rarely impressed by material objects but when he had seen the ring, he was stunned by its beauty.
The ring was no where near as beautiful as the girl for whom he had bought it. Allen thought of Ashley and he smiled. He was lucky to have met her. He imagined the moment that he would ask her to marry him. In his mind, he got down on one knee. Ashley laughed at him; he was so old fashioned. He took out the black velvet box and popped it open. She gasped when she saw it. He held her hand and slid the ring up her finger. It fit perfectly. She called out ‘yes' and kissed him as she cried.
He imagined it so vividly in his mind's eye. The choice seemed so easy. What could he possibly have to think about?
A packet of white papers rested on the seat beside the ring. At the top of the packet was typed very formally, "Department of United Nations Space Force Cadet Contracting Form." The twenty three pages had been filled out meticulously. He had triple checked all of the information for accuracy and consistency. There was just one spot that had been left blank. He had pressed his pen against that line so many times, he had lost count. The blank space was on the very last page beneath the UNSF oath and beside the word ‘Signature'.
Allen looked at his watch. He was already late. He grabbed both objects from the seat beside him. He put the ring in one pocket and folded up the contracting forms into the other pocket. He locked the car and walked down the stairs to the beach.
It was high tide and a full moon lurked somewhere below the horizon. The waves rolled along the top of the water and broke violently against the sandy beach. The foam sprawled up toward him then retracted back toward the surf, gathering strength for another assault.
She stood beside an empty lifeguard tower. The breeze pulled at the loose white sundress she wore. She tried to tame her dress with one hand and waved with the other. She kissed him on the cheek when he was close enough.
"Come on," she said and took his hand. "The sun will be setting soon." They climbed up the wooden tower and sat on the bench at the top.
Allen dragged his fingers against the tower's peeling white paint. The wooden two-by-fours were beneath, showing bare as bone. The nearest highway was many miles away and the beach was empty except for them. Besides the noise of the crashing waves and a pair of seagulls, it was quiet as well.
"It's so quiet here," he said. "It's a shame more people don't enjoy this." He put his arm around Ashley. She leaned in closer and rested her arm against his shoulder.
"It just means we have it all to ourselves," she said.
"Can you believe school is all over?" Allen asked. "I thought it might never end."
"It hasn't ended," she said. "We still have college and the graduate school after that."
He nodded. The sun glared across the sea as the waves continued to thrash against the beach. Sand was whirled up in the chaos but was too heavy to remain inert long.
Allen had never realized how separate the ocean was from the shore. They existed next to each other but not together. There was a difference. There was a physical contact between the two but the land would never understand the ocean.
His hand brushed against his pocket. He knew which choice he had to make. He'd known for weeks. Allen looked at Ashley. He brushed a lock of her hair away from her eyes as she looked at him and smiled.
"I love you," he told her.
"I love you too Allen."
He began to reach into his pocket but hesitated. When he saw the way she looked at him, how she smiled he thought he might change his mind. He wanted to change his mind. He loved that smile. He never wanted to lose it and in a way, that's exactly why he did what he did next.
He pulled out his contracting papers from his pocket and showed them to her. She held them in front of her and began scanning the front page. "I don't understand," she said. "What is this?"
"I won't be going to college this fall," he said. "Not a civilian one at least."
"You're joining the military?" she asked.
"I want to be a fighter pilot," he said.
Ashley began to cry then. "What about us?" she demanded. "What about starting a family?" He leaned in to hug her but she pushed him away and cried harder.
She tried to speak but only sobbed instead. At last she muttered just one word. "Why?"
"Because I have to," he said.
She finally succumbed and hugged him. She trembled and sobbed against his shoulder to the rhythm of the waves. "Damn your duty," she said. "Damn your duty and damn you."
She looked at him. There was no smile and her pretty eyes were bloodshot. "I'll always love you," she said, "But I hate your priorities."
She stood up and climbed down the tower. "Wait," Allen called. "Ashley!" But it was too late. She staggered up the beach holding her sandals in her hands. She did not turn to look back.

Allen stayed at the beach for some time. He did not wait to see if Ashley would return; he knew she wouldn't. He did not have anywhere to be and the beach was peaceful. The sun sank and the stars peered out. He paced down the beach to where the waterline stretched across the land like a slash.
He plunged his hand into his packet and withdrew the small black box. Allen examined it with intent, rolling the object in his palm to glimpse every contour. He realized he was grinding his teeth only when he heard it. He clenched the trinket in his fist and reeled his arm back to throw it like a baseball: like a hand grenade.
The water sloshed up the beach and rolled over his feet. It soaked through his shoes and the tepid liquid reached his skin but it was not an unwelcome feeling. Slowly, his muscles eased and his hand fell. He looked the engagement ring box over one last time before returning it to his pocket.
Allen trudged up the beach in his wet shoes and started his car. He opened the contracting packet and turned to the last page. He found a pen and signed, "Allen Sheffield 06/03/2158".


Sheffield had made plenty of difficult decisions in his life. He was an Admiral after all. He could honestly say that that day was the hardest of all though. Since he had made it however, he had not once regretted or even second guessed his choice. Not until now at least.
He sat at his desk in his quarters within the Thermopylae and examined the same small black box he held more than a lifetime ago. It was ridiculous, he thought. Billions had been lost but he could think of none of them except one. Ashley Barkley.
She was married and had a family of her own. Three children if he recalled correctly. It was the life she had always wanted. He had not spoken to her in over twenty years. There had always been time. He could write her a letter. He would get leave and they would catch up over a cup of coffee. It was too late now though. He wondered if she had ever thought about him. He wondered if she knew he still loved her.
Now when he thought about the choice he made, he almost wished he could do it again. How wonderful it would have been to sit in that old lifeguard tower with Ashley one more time. Just the two of them arm in arm with the crashing waves and the setting sun; a front row seat to the end of the world. It was surviving that was the tricky part. To go on alone and without hope. To live and fight another day was just not enough. But somehow it had to be. He had to maintain not just his spirit but the spirit of every other free human being still alive. He felt more an actor than a military leader. It was an exhausting duty and he didn't know how much longer he could do it.