Snow Melt

Voices

Fidál (Grace), 3 ‘Alá (Loftiness), 164 B.E. – Tuesday, March 4, 2008 about 3:27 PM PST

I listen for the voice of gratitude
Rising above this scarlet poverty;
There are moment of delight when nothing
Except the voice of the Beloved is heard.

I hear the voice of fear echoing from
A point where memories of past weaknesses
Dwell inside scrapbooks of an over active imagination.

The illusion of a child who thought that no one loved her
When in reality it was the separation of parents
That caused her insecurity and terror;
It was the alcohol which caused the divorce
Not that her parents didn't love her any more.

Little actions of others are remembered
Small actions that mother, father, grandmother, grandfather
Didn't realize would cause her self-doubt.

Now these actions,
blown out of preparation by a vivid imagination
come back to haunt and must be delt with
by an adult
who still has the inner child's self-doubt.

These actions are the voices of fear,
the voices of terror
rising out of the past to
scattered the achievements of the present.

I listen for the voice of gratitude and praise,
I listen for the voice of the eternal Beloved
I listen for voices that will help me overcome
the voices of self-doubt and fear.