Thursdays With Death

TWD - Chapter 7 - Texas Hold 'Em

This arrangement I had with Death came together easily actually. I lost to Death in a game of Texas Hold ‘Em.

Understand that this initially was just a dream. In my dream, I was sitting at the main table of a poker tournament. There was me, Oscar Madison (Jack Klugman’s character in The Odd Couple), Deanna Troi (the hot counselor on Star Trek: Next Generation), Walt, a buddy of mine, a Chinese dude who never spoke and whom I did not know, and Death.

Everyone had dropped out of this particular hand except Death and I. Oscar Madison was leaning back, with his feet up on the table, a large sandwich with some kind of brown meat in it sitting on his belly. Walt and the Chinese dude were just sitting and watching the proceedings. Deanna Troi was doing nothing but looking hot.

On this particular hand, I had an ace of hearts and a ten of spades as my pocket cards (the first two cards dealt down to each player). The flop (three cards dealt up for the community to use) was a six of clubs, a six of diamonds and a ten of clubs. So now, I had a pair of tens, ace high. The next card, the turn card (one single card turned up for the community to use), was a ten of diamonds, so with three tens, ace high, I was feeling pretty good.

I looked at Death, but of course, Death had the perfect poker face – no face. Death however, was making figure eights in the felt on the table right in front of his cards. Did this mean something? Death didn’t seem to have any quirks or ticks that might give an opponent the edge. Could this be one? As I thought about this, Death’s head lowered, as if dejected, and then I heard, “$50,000.” Death was betting big on the river card (the last community card). Death had raised the pot on the initial deal, but not by too much, so the chances of Death having pocket sixes and four of a kind seemed low to me. I felt I was in good shape, so without really thinking about what I was doing, I said “all in” – placing my entire pile of winnings in the pot. Death’s “head” rose up on my “all in” statement and Death “looked” toward me. Silence filled the air for what seemed a very long time. While the tension was thick, there was also excitement. Deanna Troi got up out of her chair and walked over behind me. She bent over and placed her folded arms atop my head, her large breasts settling on my shoulders. It was distracting, but oh, what a distraction!

Deanna leaned down and put her lips to my left ear. “You can beat Death,” she whispered. “I’ve been watching you as we have played. You’re very good. You know when to pull back, and when to be aggressive. I really like that in a man - especially the aggressive part.”

The way she whispered into my ear really got me going. I was just about ready to give her my room key when Death made an announcement.

“I’ll match you,” Death said. “But not with money. If I win, I want you,” pointing toward me. I wasn’t quite sure what he meant.

“I’m not quite sure what you mean?” I questioned. “If you are talking about my time being up if you win, then no. Do you see who is leaning on me? Do you think I am about to give this up?”

“Your time isn’t up,” Death said. “But you’re on a path that should keep me happy for quite a while. That’s all I can tell you right now.”

Again, I wasn’t quite sure what Death meant. But with Deanna nibbling on my ear, and me pretty confident, my choice was simple.

“Okay,” I said. “You’ve got a deal.” With that, we both stood up. It was showdown time, and we were both anxious to see the cards. The dealer burned a card, and then threw out the river card. It was an ace of spades. With that card, I had a full house, tens over aces. I turned over my pocket cards for all to see.

I threw my arms into the air. “Yes!” I yelled. Deanna leaned into me and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Man, this was going to be a great night.

“Not so fast,” Death replied. Turning each card over slowly, everyone saw that there were, in fact, four sixes to be played – by Death.

The crowd erupted in applause for Death. My arms came slowly down. I had lost, when I was so sure I would win. I would have had the money and Deanna, who by now had left my side and was heading toward Death. I had lost the money, the girl, and myself, to Death.

Death walked around the table and stretched out a hand to me to shake. As we shook, Death leaned in and screamed in my ear. “You wouldn’t have wanted to spend the night with Deanna anyway. She’s married to that Klingon and they don’t take kindly to infidelity.”

As Death shook my hand, I felt something pass between us. Death patted my back and then turned around and grabbed Deanna and began to celebrate. I glanced down at what was in my hand. It was a business card. On one side read the following:

Death. The Grim Reaper. The Angel of Death. Available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. By appointment only.

Not sure why Death handed me a business card, I turned it over and read what was on the other side:

You have chosen the path to Light. While on this path, a part of you dies periodically. This is good and healthy. Please continue your journey, but know that you can’t turn back. You have committed yourself to me. You will change and you will mature. Resistance is futile.

At the bottom of the card it read: Your appointment is Thursday at 9:00 am.