Despertar

mixed emotions

Parts of this are going to sound like a rant against Aaron, who took the most actively anti-breeding stance, but I love her dearly, and it's not one--she's just representative of everyone who has ever almost succeeded at convincing me that babies aren't worth it. So it's kind of a rant, but a good-natured one. And it's not directed at Aaron, it's directed at the self-righteous bitches who write in to Carolyn Hax and want validation for being mean to their breeder friends.

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I have mixed emotions about this, too, believe it or not. I say, pretty frequently, that raising great kids is my most important goal, or at least the one that has remained unchanged since I was little. That's completely true--there's no other aspect of my life I would elevate above that. Still, I'm not stupid. I get all the reasons why logic says uncontrolled breeding is dooming the world, and why, therefore, if I care about the world, I should satisfy my maternal urges by adopting Third World orphans, instead.

But. Okay, for starters, let's look at the popular contention that procreation is irresponsible because it contributes to overpopulation, which in turn contributes to the overfast depletion of resources. To suggest that that is a bad thing suggests that there's something about the optimal natural balance that's worth protecting. If unborn babies are a bad thing because they threaten the quality of life for people who are already living, who otherwise share no unifying characteristics, that suggests that, by virtue of being alive, everyone on the planet right now deserves for the planet to stay just the way it is.

But I think we agree that most people suck, so there goes that theory. And if it's not about the people themselves, if it's about saving Mother Earth from infestation, well, she's overrun already, to the tune of six billion. She'd be better off, honestly, without half the people who are already here, but relatively few are up for the glorious martyrdom of planet-rescue by suicide.

So if we shouldn't procreate, maybe we should control our numbers some other way, but no one's volunteering themselves and their 2,999,999,999 closest friends to take the fall for the rest of us. If we can't choose on our own, maybe we should ask God to send us a plague, something that would serve the dual purpose of killing off the afflicted and deterring the rest of us from engaging in unprotected, baby-making sex.

Oh, wait.

You see my point? The moment we decide it isn't worth it to keep the world going, we find we're on this runaway train whose only destination is realizing life has no meaning. And in that case, we have two choices: either we breed like crazy, because that's what we're programmed to do, and we don't worry about the consequences, because life has no meaning, OR, we be reasonable about this, and we recognize that for the world to keep turning, some people HAVE to have children, and some people HAVE to refrain.

I propose that the people who want children choose Door Number One, and that the people who don't choose Door Number Two. It's imperfect, but it's better than mass suicide, or believing God wants AIDS to kill all the Africans.

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Other Pursuits That Are as Selfish as Childbearing, Don't Benefit the World and Introduce Consequences of Subjective Severity:

1. Sex. Like procreation, the people who choose it are really the only ones who stand to gain from it. But the people who condemn procreation rarely, if ever, make the same gripes about sex. Which is funny, because sex can spread disease, it can hurt people's emotional health, it can create babies (bad!) and it takes time away from the Third-World adoption process (ITTAFTWAP).

2. Travel. A lot of people who think having kids is stupid say "I would rather see the world than stay home raising a bunch of mewling kids," or something along those lines. But, again, travel benefits no one but those involved, unless it's on diplomatic or Doctors Without Borders grounds; if it involves ground travel, it burdens the already overburdened oil industry; and, when the travelers in question are American, it contributes to the widespread "decadent capitalist asshole" stereotype in play in so many countries overseas, which in turn undermines our foreign relations goals. Also, ITTAFTWAP. Unless you're going orphanage-hopping.

3. Art. Unless you're really, really good, your musical/visual/dramatic creations probably bring more joy to you and your mother than they do to anyone else. Art is generally harmless, except that in some cases it perpetuates immorality and/or hate (think Rob Zombie, the Gaede twins), but, unfortunately, ITTAFTWAP.

There are others. You get the point, though.

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"If you want a baby so bad, you should adopt one of the ones who already needs a home."

Uh, I don't think anyone should commit to raising a child they'd rather not raise. Granted, anyone who would rather go into debt pouring money into fertility treatment than quench the thirst for parenthood through adoption probably won't be an ideal parent, and wanting that badly to pass on one's own genes is pretty narcissistic by definition, but I think a commitment as serious as adoption is best left to someone who really wants to adopt and is prepared to back that decision with unwavering belief in its rightness.

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In the splash page for his journal, Penemue describes himself as an ex-hedonist turned responsible father. There's a picture, a cute one, of him with his son, and pretty much every entry makes mention of how his son has changed his life for the better.

Everyone isn't Penemue , of course. But I'd posit that a self-proclaimed hedonist--someone who bases his decisions on his own pleasure, rather than on ethics or road safety or social responsibility or his own health--poses a far greater danger to society than does someone who lives sensibly because he wants to watch his kids grow up.

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Besides all that, most people are just too selfish not to be selfish about it. That includes me. I have names chosen for my kids. I see their faces on the mannequins in the window at Baby Gap. And I know how it feels to love someone so deeply, and with such admiration, that you want to make him the amazing father you know he'll be.

And you want him to rub your belly, put his arm around you on the sidewalk and bring you ice cream.

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Besides Elders, Sim babies are the most annoying. In addition to everything Jenn already said, babies totally screw up their parents' concentration--they'll discard a whole queue of commands to take a just-fed infant BACK to the fridge for ANOTHER bottle, and, when a birthday rolls around, they'll starve and overexhaust themselves trying again and again to "help with birthday."

Toddlers are annoying, too--I cannot figure out why people are so eager to bathe them all the time--but their charm and personality makes up for it. Their little thumbnail pictures are adorable, and they make the cutest noises, and you overlook the fact that they inhibit WooHoo and wake everyone up with their xylophones. They are definitely my favorites.

In the original version of the Sims, kids were less agitating, except that they never grew up, which frustrated me. They could sleep through anything and they only had to go to school to ensure that they didn't get shipped off to boot camp. In this version, they wake up when the phone rings, they jump on beds and kick trash cans, they hide thier homework and they can't cook.

Teenagers have fat faces, but at least they can live alone if their parents die.