My True Soul

¡Mata las hormigas! Y estoy muy enferma con un resfriado.

OKies, so I'm sick. It was only a matter of time. I had a hellish fever on friday... it was 101.5, roughly. Manda had to take care of me. I pretty much was on the couch for 3 hours, buried under blankets, looking dead. (Seriously, she took a photo... I do look dead.) Tried to get my fever to break, it never would but it eventually came down some and continued to go down. It's been a long time since I've had that high of a fever. I feel a lot better now.

I talked to my parents last night and they were talking about the 4 stages of being sick. It amused me, so here they are.
1.) Ah, I'll be fine.
2.) Sure! I'll go to the doctor... let's go!
3.) Agh, going to the doctor means having to get up and leave the house... blah.
4.) Woops, call the ambulance.
I was between stages 2 and 3. If I had of continued feeling as bad as I did on Friday, I was willing to go to the doctor and get a shot. (I hate going to the doctor and most definitely hate getting shots.)

In addition to all this, it's also been the week that I've gotten information on my first tests of the semester. I'm scared about the counseling one because there's so many terms and cases (examples of important legal cases) and stuff in the book. AND it's been the week that I've been trying to finalize things for the Feb. 1 & 15 deadlines for grad school. And starting to put together & fnd information for the March 1 deadlines.

I'm beginning to see more and more which schools I like. I was pleasantly surprised by MSU the other day. Their information was so nice and they actually broke down what percentage each piece of my grad application would count. No other school has done that. So that really gave them points. I'm applying to 4 of the same schools I applied to for undergraduate work. The one I disliked most then is the one I still dislike. That only figures & on principle, I hate that school but it's instate and I could go there without needing a LOT of financial aid. (Of course, their price and MSU's is about the same, even for out of state at MSU.)

There's been a certain question on my mind. I've wondered already what my 17 year old self would think of me. Or even 20. But I've also wondered how other people look back on their relationships/friendships with me. I've wondered if they've regretted it. I don't.

The other day in one of my classes, this girl just came and sat down right beside me. There were 2 seats beside me (groupings of 3) and she could have sat on the other outside seat, but no, she sat beside me. Then she started talking about the weather, etc., normal human chit chat. Introduced ourselves, then not too long after that, she just reached over and plucked off a hair on my laptop. I was kinda like "huh?" but then got amused because she followed it up with "i hope that wasn't too weird."

Ok, people who come up to me and just start talking to me.... they scare me. I mean... of course to make friends, isn't that how they all start out? Yea. But most of the time, when people randomly come up to me, they start telling me their life story, every detail, etc. Manda says it's because I have "one of those faces" and it just makes people feel like they can talk to me. I guess this is it... and I mean, if so, it's a great thing considering what I want to do. I need people to want to tell me things, to trust me, and to feel comfortable with me. And don't get me wrong, I love that people feel comfortable to tell me things. But.... at the same time... do you want to surround yourself with friends who're always spilling their guts to you and telling you everything? No... because then it's not a friendship... friendship implies sharing. When it's like that, it's not sharing, it's always listening. (This probably sounds horrible.)

That's how a lot of high school was for me. Shorty would get annoyed whenever we came back after our freshman year of college and all the people from high school were SO happy to see me. Yea, of course they were, having me around was great for them, it was someone that'd listen to them and let them talk. We all need that sometimes, which is precisely my point about why when it's always the same person doing the listening, then it's not balanced.

Manda gets scared when someone likes her, especially a guy. Which, there's one right now who might. I think so and so do a couple of other people. The other people think it's funny because well, even if she was single, she wouldn't be interested. He's got curly hair, which, pretty much strikes him out for her. The poor guy would have a better chance with me, lol. I love curly hair... always have. But, he's constantly talking to her in the class they have together. But, everytime she's had someone like her since she's come to college, they end up being stalkers and/or they just don't get the hint. So in that way, it's very similiar to my experiences with just having random people come up to me and start talking.

Which Manda kinda did that to me, just came up one day and started talking a lot to me. But, we'd already met and talked before some. So it was okay.

Here's another thing, I don't know what would have happened if I had of approached her first... I think it would have probably scared her due to her previous experiences. She's the one who told me she liked me and kinda iniated things. If one was around us though, you could have told we liked each other before then though. It was obvious to others and in retrospect, I can see why.

Change of subject... anyone wanna know what the most evil thing in the world is? PHARAOH ANTS. Okies.... since I've moved here, there have always been ants. It's insane. They will drown themselves to get to water, they can swim. They've covered our sinks/toilets. Boy, lemme tell you how fun it is to be half asleep and go to the toilet and have ants crawling on you...ugh. They have built a nest in a semi opened thing of peanut butter because i didn't get the lid on good. They'll eat pizza, pie crusts... anything... ok... just anything. Manda, before she lived with me, would call and I'd be fighting the ants... and I'm kinda scary with it and enjoy it a lil much.... and she'd fuss at me. Now? No. She tells me to go ahead. They've gotten in our microwave. They'll be thousands of them attacking 5 pieces of cat food. And lemme tell you, never think something is airtight until it passes the tests of these ants. They've tried to get in our fridge/freezer, hadn't done it yet. Alright... it's been cold outside here, really cold, they don't like cold. It makes them insanely desperate for food, which thus means, they attack everything we leave out. Oh, did I mention they love to get on glasses that have had soda in them? No soda at the bottom, no, just the residue... that's all it takes. So, for the past week, every few hours, they're somewhere new. It's been driving us both insane, we're about ready to just move out and let them have the place.

Another thing they've done.... summer of '06, we slept for a week in the middle of the living room floor on my mattress. Why? Because they invaded Manda's bed and mine (headboard/box springs mostly).
We probably have 20-30 spiders here. We let them live. Why? They eat ants and don't bother us.
In the past 2 days, I've killed 7 queens. I'm hoping if I keep killing the queens when I can, it'll maybe slow down them reproducing. And yes... I'm proud of this. They honestly are kinda fascinating. Last night I poured water into a cup that they were swarming. Well, in the process of doing this, I got 2 queens. Well, the lil worker ants were trying to make a rope of ants to pull her out of the water. Then they all start linking up to get each other out. Kinda neat, but they're such pests.

Anyways.... here's an article on them if you wanna read how bad they are. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pharaoh_ant
It's slightly amazing. And most people never believe me when i talk about how bad they are.

Eck, I have a headache and I'm hungry. Luckily we put the pizza up in the fridge. (We've lost a practically whole pizza before because we left it on the counter for 5 minutes.)
Adios!
Y mata las hormigas!