Random Musings

Angry with myself....

I'm just back from a trip to Walmart, and I'm seething. I let something happen, and it's eating me alive.

Having picked up what I needed on the food side, my last item selected and placed in the cart, I was thinking of what I needed from the other side of the store. As I came to the end of the tissue aisle, there was a woman and a girl parked over to the right, at the very end. I steered around them and peeked out into the cross aisle to make sure that it was clear before I pulled out into it. As I did, I heard the woman say, "So rude", but it wasn't until I was actually turning that it occurred to me that she was referring to me.

I am kicking myself for not turning around and addressing her comment.

First of all, I think it was rude of her to jump to conclusions about someone she knew nothing about and then to make a comment loud enough for the person to hear. It was also foolish. In today's world, you really don't know what reaction you might get from someone. She was lucky she said it about me and not about someone who might have taken an even greater and more physical offense to what she said than I did.

I kept thinking about it, rolling it over and over in my mind, the teacher in me regretting missing that teachable moment. First of all, how was I to know why she was standing there? I doubt that anyone would have pulled behind them, thinking that that they were waiting to pull out. There was nobody coming from the other direction, so I went around her.

If I was truly being rude, I would have pulled right out into the path of oncoming traffic and cut anyone off who might have been going past. I didn't do that. I pulled out, looked, waited and then went turned out. If she thought I was being rude for pulling around her, I am sorry about that, but I think what happened was understandable.

Writing it now, it seems such a petty, small incident, but it's one of those things that pisses me off. People jump to conclusions and act out in the very manner of which they are accusing others. If she knew anything about me, which she didn't, she would never have said that about me.

Purposeful rudeness and boorishness are qualities I cannot abide. As a parent, I worked hard at rooting out that quality in my own children. I preach against it daily with my students. I would never be purposefully rude to anyone, even if I thought they deserved it. What I will do is tell a person about it when I feel they have offended me or someone else unnecessarily or if their behavior is out of line to the degree that it's causing others discomfort or distress.

I guess I really wish I had said something to the woman mostly for the sake of her daughter who really could have benefited from that teachable moment. She probably walked away thinking that her mother was right, and I was wrong. I think if I would have said what was on my mind, and kept my cool while doing it, I could have shown both of them something. Instead I kept quiet and stewed.

But then, in retrospect, maybe in that case, it was best I said nothing and went on with my shopping as I did. The keeping my cool thing wasn't a given.