A Case for Super Powers

A Little Something You Ought to Know

So, here's the thing...I hurt somebody's feelings recently with something I said, and while I meant what I said, and still do, I regret that I hurt this person's feelings, and should have been a bit more delicate with it. Which brings me to something you should know about me.

Something which probably is no huge revelation. Something which probably does not come as a surprise at all, yet people still seem to forget it.

I am an irritable person. Truly. I love you all, you're all great people, you're my friends, but I guarantee you, every single one of you does something, has some habit, which aggravates the hell out of me on a regular basis. If you have had a conversation with me, with very few exceptions, you have irritated me. That is my nature. I am what I am.

This is not restricted to you. This is universal. The good news is, I am aware that I am overly-irritable, and so I behave accordingly. By which I mean, I bite my tongue over 90% of the shit that drives me nuts. Do you realize how many times I'm talking to somebody...somebody I LIKE, whom I consider a FRIEND...and I just want to grab them by their head and scream "your grandmother was NOT a Cherokee princess, you douchebag!!" or "it's pronounced 'NUCLEAR', not 'NUKULAR'!!"

Ever watch Curb Your Enthusiasm? That's me. I am Larry David, George Costanza incarnate. Honestly, it's a miracle that I have any friends at all. I attribute this to the fact that those that are my friends have come to accept it, and know that if I do reach the breaking point and go off on them, it's nothing personal.

And it does happen. I try to keep my mouth shut, but I can only take so much. So sometimes I do go off on someone. If that happens with you, all I can say is that I'm sorry, and it's nothing personal.

I'll be honest with you, whatever it is that I rant about, you could make my life a little bit easier by examining that behavior of yours, but even if you stopped doing it, it would probably be replaced by something else which drives me nuts, so it's probably not worth your effort. Don't worry about it too much.

Honestly, your best bet is just to let it roll off your back. Roll your eyes, shake your head, give me a little pat on the shoulder or head or something. Say something like "awww, your grumpy! Somebody needs a hug, Mr. Grumpy Man!"

Just a little something from the Silver Instruction Manual.

Goodnight...and good luck.