My True Soul

Graduate School, who needs this B.S.?

Grad School Crap:
I don't think I want to go to the University of Florida... plus... they don't accept a lot of people each year. But so far, they're the only ones who offer a class on GLBT members. Which, that's really awesome. And compared to Kansas, I like them a lot better. But I just can't get over where they are and stuff. And I'm scared.

I just finished reading about Kansas and they're really too research based for me to really want to apply. I keep looking at their letter of intent and what they want from me. They want me to provide information about what research topic or issue I'd like to pursue while there. Scientist-practioner is just not really me at all. I'm sorry, I'm just really opposed to it. I'm seriously considering not applying there. But I've already had recommendation letters sent & my GRE scores. Maybe I should just continue to see what they might offer.

I like what I have read about William and Mary, but it's freakin' W&M and they cost over 20K EACH year. I still like what they're asking for, their program, & even the few people I've dealt with in their administration. Their campus sounds & looks from the pictures like it would be beautiful.

University of Tennessee-Knoxville is ok... but their information has been hard to find and so far they've given me the run around on their website. I'm not sure how well of a fit their program will be for me. It sounds really good and I like the people I've dealt with there. But... I'm not so certain.

And those are the first 4 schools I'm applying to.... they're also some of the better ranked ones and let fewer people in.

I'm really scared because I haven't really found a school that makes me really excited. I've looked and looked... and I just haven't found that much. I'm hoping that as I research these schools more & more that the answer will become evident of which one is right. The same thing happened with my undergraduate degree. I applied to numerous schools, got decent offers from a couple, but I knew which one was right for me. I've not regretted that decision.
Things always work out as they're meant to, I do believe that.

It'll all be alright.

I've decided I want to apply to Indiana... I kept debating about it. I think mainly because I know someone who's there and didn't want to follow her. I checked it out last night and pretty much decided it looks like it might be a good match actually. I'd be following an Ole Miss graduate..... ugh.... lol.

Anyways... other than all that stuff, which is just, blah, I know. Today was hectic. I spent all day playing phone tag with one of my friends. We were gonna hang out and it just never really came about. I helped my dad and in the process, got dust/mold in my eye which hurt then. Then later tonight, a family friend came up, her perfume was a little strong, well, a lot strong, it stung. In addition, she smokes still and though she stepped away from everyone... it was just one more thing to make my eyes hurt. Normally it probably wouldn't have by itself, but it did tonight.

I was supposed to see 4 of my friends. Well, yeah. Ok, so 2 of them are mostly free. But one of them is only in town for a little bit... I've seen her once. The other one, I've tried to get in contact with and that's just not worked out. It made me kinda mad the other day because I called her, she told me she'd call me back in a few minutes, I waited an hour and then just left to go do what I wanted/needed to do anyways. Then as I'm out finishing up my christmas shopping, I see her with someone else out shopping. Er, ok, so not shocked really, I expect this kinda stuff from her, but it was just so in my face that it kinda bothered me more than usual. All I really want to do is spend a couple of hours with her and give her a present for her son.
Then the other 2, one of them, he has plenty reason and I'm fine with why I haven't seen him. He got really sick, has had family in, and has been working 8-12 hour shifts at work. That's cool... I know he wants to see me for sure whenever he gets the chance. I'm just kinda bummed I haven't gotten to hang out with him yet.
The last one? Er. She's got a job, she's busy with family/holiday shopping stuff, plus her birthday is close to Christmas/New Years. So, I get she's busy. But most of the time, when I pass by her house, she's at home & her fiancee is there. That's what she's busy with. She pretty much will only go out on nights that he's at work. They spend just about every day together from what I can tell & they don't live together!

My parents, upon my telling them of why I didn't hangout with one friend the other night (the one I saw out shopping) tell me I should just go give her son's present to her mother. Ergh. No. Her & her mom have enough problems concerning her son. Plus, that's just some of the stupid ass bullshit my parents would pull & it's exactly the type shit they do that I can't stand. Plus, if I give it to her mom, her mom will keep it and only use it when he's at her house, she probably won't let his mom/my friend have the item for keeping. *shakes head*

I'm just kinda frustrated with things here.

The happy thing in my life lately has been talking to Manda. The past 2 days in particular have been really pleasant. Someone I talk to online asked how we were doing and I think I said it when I answered their question. It's a lot more like we're best friend's who just happen to be in love with each other. I've had a lot of fun talking to her. I didn't talk to her today really, just long day and had so much crap happen. Today's been a day where at the end of it (now) I just want to curl up next to her and stay there, pretend it didn't exist for a little bit.

In another note, State won the liberty bowl today. Hail State!
Necesito practicar mi español antes de olvidarlo. Quiero escribir un correo electronico a mi profesora de español y pregunta a ella que mi nota fue en mi ensayo y mi prueba pasada. Vale, adios a todos!