The Real and Ideal

Hard Core High Schoolers, etc

Once upon a time there was a girl who liked a guy's smile, and a girl who thought the world he lived in was a crazy mess. They were sort of friends, these two girls... but they disagreed on a lot of things. Especially about the ideals of Hard Core High Schoolers.

"He's so sweet and funny," Girl 1 said one day. "So many people are friends with him...he's just that cool."

"But that's the problem!" Girl 2 told her. "You can't handle that!"

"Sure I can!"

"I don't want you to get hurt. Some of those people- they say bad things and get into trouble. They live in the mess of drama that is shown on reality TV. You don't want that!"

"You don't know that!" Girl 1 pleaded. "How could you know what his world is like? How could you know what I want?!" For an instant she saw it in her friend's eyes- people everywhere, talking and shouting, smiling, laughing, and happy. Beaming, glittery faces and bright lights. "There are nice people out there. They just want to have a good time!"

"I know, hun, I know," Girl 2 murmured quietly. "But that isn't you. You can think about it and want it, but it's a puzzle that you don't fit into. Your piece belongs somewhere else."

"I could be there," she whispered.

"No....no..." Girl 2 sighed. "It's too complicated. It's makeup smears on your face and clothes that don't fit right. It's faking and pretending. It's stoners and judgemental glances. It's whores and f-bombs. That's the life of a Hard Core High Schooler."

"Wrong, wrong wrong! A HCHS has opinions. They have feelings and lives and hopes and dreams! It's reaching for your highest potential, to be wanted, to live like your flying. It's having the courage to jump without worrying where your going to land."

"It's peer pressure and breathing heavy. It's a bad situation that leads good people in the wrong direction. It's coming home and feeling like you've been peeled off the movie theater floor. It's tired and sad and unsatisfied, piled on top of false hopes."

"It's living and breathing and feeling. It's the butterflies in your stomach when he finally calls. It's going to sleep at 3am and knowing that your friends will still be there when you wake up," Girl 1 insisted. "You have no idea what you are talking about. You make it seem like I'm going to turn into a slut with no morals."

"I never said that..." Girl 2 chose her words carefully. "I just think you should know what you're getting into before you go off and make a fool of yourself."

"I won't. How hard can it be?"

"If you say so. Just be careful. Never forget who you are."

No matter how many arguments they got into, these girls always disagree. Which is wierd, because they are actually the same person. Interesting, eh?

****
So many different things are layered on top of eachother, it seems. I am here right now, typing away, while you are at home reading your computer screen. The wierd girl whose nose is buried in her Japanese anime novel bumps shoulders with the 6 foot tall football player in the hall. She'll go home and watch TV tonight, and he might score a winning touchdown and then go hang out with his girlfriend.

It's really interesting thinking about that. You should try it sometime. It's very hard to fathom how many different lives overlap every day.

I dunno. I just don't know. I have the wrong idea about everything, and I know it. It's all a stereotype. That much I understand. As far as I know, anyway.

Recently I've come to discover that swearing is kind of hard to avoid after a certain age, that is, high school. You can basically throw out all hope of being clean-mouthed, in that sense anyway. After hearing it, slipping occurs fairly often. And yet, I don't usually say words like gay, whore, fag, etc. It seems to sound a little...worse than other words.

And some people drink, and some people smoke, and others sleep around.

Some people. Such a generic term. I haven't met everyone in my class, let alone everyone in my school or the world. It's not really fair for me to throw around words like "some people." But for the sake of argument, I'm going to anyway.

Some people are nice, and they dream about their future. With the job and the family and the white picket fence. Right when you think you have someone figured out, labeled as a hard-core party-er, they surprise you by throwing out something that you can relate to. It makes it hard for me to hate HCHSs because I can never help but think that they are just like me, but with more guts. And experience. And...I think I'll just stop here.

Last night I had a sleepover with my friends 8>) It was a lot of fun. We watched movies and talked smack about hockey (and other things...) and then went SNOWMOBILING. Mmm the speed.... And we battled, pushing eachother into the snow. I lost that one. Big time. Lol. (You should just teach me how to wrestle effectively. I think it would make our snow fights a little less one-sided, dontcha think?! Ha. ha.)

But seriously. We should really just be nice now. The bright new future of high school stereotypes everywhere! Or just people in general. Or we could just for ourselves, so we feel better and less dirty. Ew, dirt. In my mouth. On my hands. Like the summer before first grade when entertainment was found making sandcastles out of...dirt. And you came inside with a popsicle ring around your mouth and your mom made you march straight to the bathroom to clean up; so you could wash the stains and the grit away. Sometimes it would still be stuck under my fingernails. Oh to the days when those were the biggest problems in life. And to the days in the future when they will probably keep getting bigger (than homework, drama, whose playing/sitting, talking behind backs, swearing, and losing hockey games...)

Happy New Year~ Can you believe it's 2008? Maybe I should make some resolutions... and maybe I'll actually follow them...(!) It's a thought anyway. 8>))) *smiles*

Talk to you later!