Point of View

The Child Catcher

Overrun with little jam-hands. I arrived to my third place to find the entire store overcome with children. Ugh! Where is the child catcher from “Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang” when you need him?”
I was just talking about that character earlier today with a friend of mine. How ironic it is that I would need his assistance this very evening. A creepy little man walking hunched over wearing a sinister grin of false trust and friendship would lure the towns’ children to his false-front candy store wagon turned cage.
How cleaver Baron Bomburst was to deploy such an effective child recon team in order to provide peace, quiet, and a never-ending supply of toys all for himself. Blast that Caractacus Potts and Truly Scrumptious for bringing down a brilliant plan of world order. So what if he built a flying car out of scrap and an old fishing boat hull? It’s not long ago I remember him a lowly chimney-sweep traveling about with a lady and her umbrella. And look at how he turned out. Tripping over an ottoman like a drunken fool and working for an over-bearing balding pompous ass of a television executive. It was all a glorified hallucination; a dream of grander. An underachiever just trying to get laid and all while in the company of his illegitimate children who should have been permanent guests of Baron Bomburst’s dungeon of terror. 
Ah, Baron Bomburst; where are you now?