Lessons

Gen III, Lesson 3: Personal essay

523 words

What are the facts about X? (Reportage)
What is my personal response to X? (Reflection)

I had surgery this week. It was a decision made by my doctor and me after many tests and evaluations of options. Several months ago a lump appeared on my neck just under the back of my jawbone. As I am not a particularly excitable person, I didn't worry too much about it. After I had lived with it for a few months, it seemed to become larger so I thought I had better get it checked.

The doctor sent me to get a CT scan and x-rays, and made an appointment with an ear nose and throat specialist (ENT). The ENT put me on a regimen of strong antibiotics to rule out the possibility that the lump was simply enlarged because of an infection. There was no change, so no infection. Another possibility was sarcoidosis, with which I had been diagnosed several years ago, an inflammatory disorder that causes lymph enlargement and granulomas, or small granular tumors, to develop in various organs, but it had apparently gone away on its own a couple of years after I was diagnosed. This prompted the doctor to have another CT scan of my lungs. The theory was that if the lungs showed signs of sarcoidosis, we could be fairly safe in assuming that the neck lump was related to that. There was no sign of sarcoidosis. Another strike, the lump was obviously there, but the reason for it was not obvious, so it was disturbing.

My options were limited at this point. We could leave it alone and assume it was inflammatory and watch it for a while, the doctor could do a needle biopsy to see what it was, but he had a small chance of getting the tissue he would need to make an accurate diagnosis, or the doctor could remove it and have it sent away and biopsied, thereby knowing for certain what we were dealing with. The third option won out since the doctor was concerned about the possibility of lymphoma and this was the only certain option. Plus, if it was lymphoma, we wanted to get started treating it right away.

The three weeks between the decision and the surgery were stressful, but I had support from so many places, it made the waiting less onerous. The encouragement and good thoughts I received were uplifting and helped make the surgery seem like the best option. Friends and co-workers expressed their concern and well-wishes and hopes for a good outcome. Emails and calls to wish me luck, and being put on several church prayer lists kept me optimistic.

The surgery now over, I have only to wait a few more days to find out the biopsy results. It turns out that the lump was a fluid-filled cyst, and apparently not a tumor as we had originally thought. The pain is slight, and the scar will be small. Knowing how many people care about me and are out there hoping and cheering for a good result is large. No matter the result I know it will be overcome. How could it be any other way with so many people on my side?

IdaLin
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