Ruminations

My earliest memory - I think.

      I am wearing my vest, pants, socks and shoes. They are all white. I am sitting on a brown wooden chair and my feet don't reach the floor. My bed is made, the counterpane stretched tight and its edge nearly, so nearly touches the floor.

    I can just see the black space that is beneath my bed. I still do not know what would happen if I bounced on my bed hard enough for it to move. I imagine it, would be would disappear into the hole, and I would disappear with it. I always lie straight and still in bed, just in case. I never sit on it, even during the day.
 
    Today there are two white dresses laid side by side on the bed. hat is surprising. What is more astonishing is that I am allowed to choose which one I will wear. The only difference between them is the colour of the flower shaped buttons that march down the bodice of each.

    I hear the snick of the garden gate and turn my head to look out of the enormous bay window . I see my father bouncing up the brick edged path with a suitcase in each hand. They  look small from here. Not big enough to hold enough clothes for a long stay. I begin to feel sad , but the, behind him I glimpse two very short people. my heart soars.

    I choose yellow buttons. I wriggle down from the chair and walk towards the bed,  stopping when I am an arm's length away. Bending forward I snatch up the dress.I know it will slip over my head so I can put it on with no help.

    I twirl once to see the skirt spin, then put on my 'Mother' face, demure and serious.Inside I can hear the soft whisper of my Great Grandmother's voice. I hear the words she will say and I hug them deep inside me.

    I slip into the hallway. She holds out her pumpkin arms,
         
          "Hello my little lover."
     
    I disappear into her arms and wriggle until I am surrounded by her wide, black dress. My three year old head is level with her wide waist. I smell her appley scent and am happy.

Sallyj