Freddy's Fantastic Foray

Leave the Married Man Alone...

My sister, susanL , just posted a couple of fascinating blog entries dealing with women who constantly chose "sociopathic" men.  (If you are a young woman, PLEASE read them, then come back and read the rest of this.)  Well, I think that, for these women, there are many issues at work. To get an idea you should watch the Law and Order:SVU episode "Starved", currently scheduled to air this Friday, June 29 on the USA Network at 9 pm Eastern Time (WDC Time!). In that episode, Cora Kennison is more-or-less "cemented" to date-rapist Mike Jergens, to the point that she even marries the loser!  She is so starved for affection and love that she doesn't see him for who he is. But when it finally becomes too obvious even for Cora to ignore, she attempts suicide rather than face it.  She is thus left a mental vegetable, and as a final act, Mike "The Jerk" Jergens (the date rapist) moves to have Cora's feeding tube removed, even when Cora's mother has said she'll assume full responsiblity for Cora's care. Mike wants Cora dead even though her mother has absolved him of any responsibility for her. Now, how's that for sociopathy.

My whole point is that it is the women who chose such men that we need to work on.  No person in their "right" mind could ever hope to understand sociopathic behavior - even criminal profilers struggle.  And, because sociopaths don't wear badges, or announce their ultimate intentions, we need to arm women with the self-respect, emotional strength, courage, and, most importantly, the knowledge to know when to haul ass!! 

Most women who mess around with married men don't end up as a headline on CNN, but they often still suffer, so that right there could be the ultimate "starting point" - whatever you do, LEAVE THE MARRIED MAN ALONE!  If one comes on to you, tell him to come and see you when he has the DIVORCE PAPERS IN HIS HAND! 

Number two: If you spent the night with a guy sweating up the sheets, then find out afterwards he's married, shed your tears, take your swipe at the male gender, then LEAVE HIM ALONE!  Even if he ultimately gets divorced, he's already deceived you once, and will do so again.  And God only knows what else he might be deceiving you about...

Tres: Don't be afraid to "check a guy out" if things are shaping up to be more than just a neat fling. Use whatever resources you have. Of course, be aware that exes can be "tainted" so-to-speak, so what you want to do is look for patterns, both in his behavior with you and with exes.

Again, these are all just starting points...there are other things to look for, things too numerous to mention in this mere blog.

Please don't be a statistic. It's okay to not "have someone" or "have a man".  If nothing else, think about any unborn children (or your current children if you already have a kid or two). Take your time, do a bit of homework, and you'll be spending your 10th at a Motel 6 rather than at the county morgue...