Work + Family + Boys =Complicated.
I have questions that need answers!! |
Although two wrongs don't make a right, a lovely romantic speech can make it all better. The jerky secrect crush is not exactly a jerk....he's actually just....stupid. I saw him on the weekend. He wanted me to come out with him and his friends but I wasn't in a going out mood. He pissed me off so bad that I just wanted to yell at him. I wanted him to see it so he would know how mad and how hurt I was about everything. I kind of stalked him a little bit around town before I got the nerve to yell at him as he walked down the street. When he relized who was yelling at him he came over to my car, leaned in the window and tried to kiss me! Infront of all of his friends, I flew off the deep end and started yelling at him. I was so mad, I dont even know what I was saying. He wanted to get into my car so we could talk alone but I wouldn't unlock the door for him. He begged, I liked it, so I let him in. For twenty minutes we argued about everything, put everything out there and it felt good. I told him that I knew about the girl he was making out with and he said that he knew! I was shocked. This was what he said, "Anna, I knew you would see those pictures. I didn't want to but I needed to hurt you. I needed you to stop being you so that I could do my job. You can't be in the military and be thinking about someone all the time. You have to be focused, no distractions...and you're my distraction" He went on but I wasn't really listening. What he was saying made some sence but couldnt he just have told me to back off? Anyway in the end, once everything was on the table I told him how hurt I was and how lead on I felt. He told me that he regrets his decision of wanting to be just friends after everything that has happened but he stood by his reasons. He has to go over sea's eventually and really aweful things can happen. He can be missing body parts, have new holes in him or worse yet, he could die! It doesnt matter what happens, he's not coming home the same person and I know that. I knew all of it, the aweful things that can happen and the person who he could be when he gets home. He says he doesnt want to put me through that. I inturrupted him and said... "I like you and I wouldnt get into this if I wasn't aware of all of the posibilities. They suck, I dont like them, but I like you so I'll deal with them and be there for you no matter what, friend or other wise." I mean every word of it, friend or otherwise. He started talking about how he could die again when he stopped mid sentence and asked me to go out with him! He said that we should try it, it would be worse if we didn't and that no matter what, after all we've been through he has no doubt we'll be friends after. It's true we will/would. I said yes, that I wanted to try. He kissed me like I've NEVER been kissed before. It took my breath away, made my heart race, my hands tingle, the world spin and stand still all at the same time. He spent the night with me that night and I took him back to base in the morning. All night he was touching me one way or another and I loved it. Best four hour sleep of my life. It does sound retarded that he tried to hurt me to save me, it sounds like a bunch of crap but I do want to try it. I hate the fect that I can never get a hold of him, I have to wait for him to call me but I'll get used to it. I want to try this and I'm going to try really hard. I know it wont be easy but arn't the things you work for the ones worth having? So my question is... Why do people jump to the worst case senario when it comes to someone they like? |