Bare and uncensored personal expression. Beware!!! |
Ok, so I'm at my desk today. It's strange to be here. For days now I've not written anything at all. I felt that tug that was telling me I was doing the wrong thing by staying away but I firmly ignored it. I knew that even if I came to my desk I would struggle to write because my mind was elsewhere. But in not even trying I also know, in the pit of my stomach, that I've made it worse for myself. It's harder to come back. Tonight I can't concentrate. My mind flitters, it flutters, and deep inside the voices are shouting, "SAVE ME!" at any slight distraction that passes by. It's also telling me it's time to scratch this idea of doing all the Page After Page exercises. I knew it would happen. As soon as I stop reading these books the enthusiasm dissapates and I'm left with the notion that the book was good but that I don't need to do anything beyond read... It's a defeatest attitude so without further ado I'll get into it... From Page After Page by Heather Sellers Exercise 11: Keep a bedside journal. When you're cranky or just in a bad mood take a few minutes to write in the journal. When you wake up in the morning don't get out of bed before writing at least one sentence. If you can't sleep or are struggling to write, write a sentence in the journal. Just write! Ok, well I keep my blog and I write in it many days. I SHOULD write in it every day. And when I'm doing ok I do pretty well. Then I smack into a wall, always self-created, and do less well. lol I don't actually have a journal beside my bed so I'll put one there tonight. I do frequently take one to bed with me which I suppose is similar. But I rarely write first thing in the morning. I usually have to be jumping out of bed to get the kids up and dressed, breakfasted, lunches made, etc. The usual craziness that goes on in the household of a single mother. Still, that's a pretty lame exercise... But I'm too darn out of it, lazy and pissy to bother hunting up Exercise 12 tonight. So YAY! I can call it quits and say I'm done. |