Memoirs

A Call

a call

sitting there, listening to the awful details
knives stabbing my heart

i get up so they won't see me sobbing
tears of the utmost anguish

someone follows, afraid to leave me alone
think i'll slit my wrists?

i think about all the things he'll miss
what's the point of my life now?

just want to be left alone
to cry, not to die

but they care, and won't leave me be
i wish they would

aunt chris is crying in the family room
i wish i could go cry with her

i flee to the study, then to dad's room
always followed

phone rings, pick it up in the kitchen
does this person know the news?

it's my friend abby
please, don't make me say it

she already knows, she says she's sorry
god, i'm sorry too

i'm crying as i reply, but don't have much to say
too sorrowful for words

she says she's sorry over and over, and begins to cry
it's okay, it's okay, i say

we cry together

i've never heard her cry before