Why I Hate the World.

Mother

         My mother is nuts. Okay so she hasn't been diagnosed as nuts, but she really is nuts. We have been having the same arguments for the last year it seems like. She asks tons of invasive questions about the state of my financial affairs and then finds a way to turn it around so the real heart of the matter gets lost.
         THE HEART OF THE MATTER IS AS FOLLOWSMother does not want to admit to herself or anyone that she possibly may have ever done something wrong. My mother had me when she was 17. By the time she was 20 she had all 3 of us kids. She never got to do what I did. I got to go to college, really fall in love with someone, drink, and generally have a good time. When I lost my virginity, I was not out for revenge on the world or trying to find a way out of my parents' house. I am sorry that she didn't get to have a life but that wasn't my choice. She has been trying to live through me my whole life and when I don't make a choice that is in accordance with her vision, she can't even begin to fathom how it could be right. She is the Supreme Being. I am merely a peon who should do what she wants because she is always right.
          My Mother never forgives people for their mistakes. My father and she were married when they were 18 years old and four months pregnant with my next youngest sibling. When they were 23, my father had an affair which produced my half sister which is ANOTHER STORY. She has made that man suffer for the last 19 years for that. She has also told me numerous times that she is not in love with my father. That she will divorce him when she goes to college and gets done. I say AMEN ALLELUJAH FOR DADDY. Maybe then he will be able to have someone who loves him for the great man that he is. I think maybe in someway she does have an attachment to her family because a family gives her status. Her whole identity is around being a mother. She has nothing else.
          I don't hate my mother. But I don't feel loved by her and the ironic thing was she never felt loved by her mother. I feel like I will never meet her approval. I feel like she will never accept me. YOu can't spend 24 years ignoring someone and sending them the message that they are not important and then expect to be their best friend because "that is how Mothers and Daughters act." Not in this lifetime, Lady.