Genomorph

Chapter 32

CHAPTER 32

It was a pleasant early October day a week later as Melissa pulled her SUV into the garage, with sunny skies and the temperature in the upper seventies. It had been her usual day; nine hours split between her own classes and her work as a teaching assistant in the music department, mostly tutoring undergraduates in piano and cello, which was often maddening to say the least. Yet as she walked in through the garage door she felt a smile spreading across her face. Coming home to Brandi always made her smile, no matter how tired she was.

It had been nearly two months since the night they had met; the night Brandi had saved her and turned her world upside down in a wonderful way. For the past two weeks they had been lovers, but Melissa was still uncertain of her feelings. Being in love with Brandi brought with it a host of unique complications. She could deal with the fact that Brandi was in hiding, and that perhaps one day they would be on the run. She actually found that somewhat exciting. But could she deal with growing older while Brandi was forever young? Could she see her own body age and wither and not feel her love turn into resentment?

~ Who are you kidding? She’s everything you want. ~

It was not Brandi’s looks, although Melissa was not ashamed to admit that she had been physically attracted to Brandi the instant she saw her. But more than anything it was her innocence. Some of that had been programmed into her by the alien machine, a behavior designed to lull an enemy into believing she could not possibly be a threat. But more than that, it came from the fact that Brandi was seeing the world through a new set of eyes. Every experience for her was fresh and new, and Melissa loved watching her grow. There was also a definite strength that came through when Brandi became comfortable with someone and no longer felt the need to hide who she was. She was the most fearless person Melissa had ever known, and that too was not a product of her transformation; if anything it was one of the reasons she had been transformed.

Still Melissa felt she had to be sure, and so she was waiting for some indefinable sign that would let her know for certain that she really and truly loved Brandi and wanted to be with her for the rest of her life.

She got it sooner than she expected.

Brandi was nowhere to be seen as she passed the kitchen and entered the living room. She wasn’t out on the deck either, so Melissa went upstairs and checked her bedroom. She was not overly concerned, but Brandi was always there when she and Karen got home, and usually had dinner in the works. And today they were going to the range for some shooting practice, and Brandi was always ready for that.

Her bedroom was empty but the door to the bathroom was slightly ajar, and Brandi generally kept it wide open if she was not in there. Melissa stepped up to the door and knocked gently.

“Brandi I’m home,” she called. Of course with her enhanced senses Brandi should already know that.

“Brandi?” Melissa called again when there was no reply. Finally she decided that Brandi must not be home and swung the door open wide.

The sight before her caused her heart to freeze in her chest. Brandi was in the bathtub, completely submerged beneath the water, her eyes open and staring at the ceiling. Her skin had a pale, squalid look to it, and her chest was not moving.

A thousand things flashed through Melissa’s mind at once but what came out of her mouth was a heart rending scream of anguish, bellowing up from the depths of her soul. She felt as though a dark pit had opened beneath her and she was falling into eternal blackness. It seemed as though hours passed as she stood there, feeling that her world was coming to an end, though it was only seconds. In those seconds it was as though she could see her life stretching before her, empty and barren without Brandi in it.

The moment was broken as Brandi literally exploded from the water, leaping from the tub, dripping wet, her eyes darting about to find what had frightened Melissa so she could kill it. All she saw was Melissa, standing there, eyes wide in horror.

“Melissa?”

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Melissa screamed, finding her voice at last. “Do you have any idea what you just put me through?”

“Melissa I’m sorry … I was .…”

Melissa slapped her, hard, across the face, and though it barely stung physically, to Brandi it was as though she had just had her heart ripped from her chest. Melissa slapped her a second time and tried for a third but Brandi caught her wrist and gently forced her hand down. Melissa began shaking, tears streaming down her face.

“I … I’ll go …” Brandi whispered, choking back her own tears. “Thank you for being my friend.”

Brandi slipped past the stunned Melissa and began looking about the room, trying to decide what to pack first. She wanted to fall down on her knees and beg Melissa to forgive her, but the anger and hurt she had seen and felt in her friend was too much. Brandi was certain she had destroyed the one chance she had to hold on to her humanity.

“Don’t you dare leave me Brandi,” Melissa said softly from behind her, and as Brandi turned she saw Melissa rushing towards her, colliding with her and knocking her to the bed.

Melissa grabbed Brandi’s face in her hands and kissed her. She kept her lips tight against Brandi’s, their tongues dancing, even as her hands moved to her blouse, ripping it open. She felt Brandi responding to her, helping her undress, and all the while her mind was shouting with joy. She knew now, beyond any doubt, that she loved this strange, wonderful girl and whatever time she had she wanted to spend it with Brandi!

*****

Karen was feeling a bit nervous as she approached the office of her advisor, Dr. Richard Evans. She had turned in her thesis a week earlier and was surprised when he had asked her to stop by his office this soon. The quarter was not even half over and her thesis would not even be presented for review for several weeks. The process of turning it in to her advisor early was simply to allow him to review it and give her some preliminary advice on any revisions she should make.

“Come in and have a seat, Karen,” Dr. Evans told her as she entered the office. “I’m sure you’re dying to know what’s up.”

“I am a little curious,” Karen admitted as she sat down.

“Well let me put your mind ay ease by saying your thesis was masterful,” Evans smiled. “What I want to talk to you about is your future. What do you want to do?”

“I hope to work in international relations,” Karen said, breathing a mental sigh of relief. “I’ve already had contact with several corporations.”

“What about the government?” Evans asked. “Have you put in a resume with the State Department?”

“Yes I have,” Karen said. “Working for the State Department is my dream really, but I’m certain I’ll need some experience in the field before I have a chance at a job there.”

“I’d like to give your name to some people I know,” Evans said. “I would also like to send them your thesis. The State Department is forming a new threat assessment group and they are looking for fresh, young minds. I can’t really tell you a lot about it, as I don’t have that many details. I do know this group will work closely with the Department of Defense and the intelligence community.”

“Dr. Evans, I don’t know what to say.” Karen said. “Thank you.”

“I can’t promise you anything, Karen,” Evans said. “All I can do is put a few words in the right ears. If they do take you, it will mean you’ll have to go to Washington, probably before the quarter is over. That shouldn’t be a problem as all your work is done. Your thesis still has to be reviewed by the board but I can assure you that is only a formality. As I said, I can’t promise you anything, but you might want to start making arrangements; they’d be fools not to take you.”

“I will,” Karen said, looking at her watch. “If they want me, I’ll do the very best job I can.”

“I know you will, Karen, you have a bright future ahead of you,” Evans said. “I have to get back to reviewing more papers so I won’t keep you any longer.”

Karen left the office and walked to her car in a daze. She really knew nothing about what the job would entail, but she was already excited. Dr. Evans would not have even mentioned it if it was not something he felt was important and rewarding.

The only bad part was telling her friends, Melissa and Brandi in particular. She knew they would take it hard; she and Melissa had been friends for six years, and though she had only known Brandi for a fraction of that time she loved her like a sister. It never ceased to amaze her that despite Brandi’s awesome abilities, emotionally she was tremendously fragile. Brandi was a warrior capable of tremendous destruction packaged in the body of a young woman who could so easily be broken. The last thing Karen wanted to do was hurt her, and yet there was no way she could turn down an opportunity like this.

“Well, there’s no sense in getting them worked up yet,” she muttered as she started her car. “I’ll wait until I know something definite.”

*****

“Next time can we skip the whole fight part and just make up?” Brandi giggled as she and Melissa lay entwined in bed.

“I love you Brandi, but don’t you ever scare me like that again.” Melissa said, her voice cracking. “I thought you were dead. I’m sorry I slapped you … I just lost it. It was like my whole world was coming to an end when I saw you there.”

“I’m so sorry Melissa.” Brandi whispered, pulling Melissa’s head onto her breast. “I … I didn’t mean to. I would never hurt you … I love you too.”

“I know you do, silly blonde,” Melissa smiled, and then her smile turned to a frown. She pushed herself up and smacked Brandi on the shoulder.

“What the hell were you doing anyway?”

Brandi rubbed her shoulder before answering.

“I was seeing if I could regulate my body’s oxygen consumption,” Brandi explained. “Since I started taking those yoga classes like Renee suggested, I’ve really learned a lot. I’ve found that I can actually visualize the parts of my mind; it’s like my brain is partitioned like a hard drive. Every aspect of who I am has its own part; my personality, my combat abilities…even my sensuality. When I meditate I can actually isolate and examine those areas and I’m learning that I can regulate all sorts of things, like my heart rate, my body temperature and my respiration.

“I guess I went too far ‘cause I slipped into something really close to Zen sleep. I knew what was happening around me but it was like through a fog. I heard you come in, and I heard you call my name and I was coming out of it slowly.”

“And then I screamed.”

“That woke me up fast,” Brandi said, her voice pained with the memory. “It wasn’t just the noise … I could feel you in that scream … oh God, Melissa, please forgive me for putting you through that!”

“Hey, I do forgive you love,” Melissa assured her. “Just promise me you won’t try anything like that by yourself again.”

“I promise,” Brandi said.

“So how long were you underwater?” Melissa asked, settling back down to snuggle with Brandi.

“A little over three hours,” Brandi said.

“I ought to slap you again,” Melissa sighed. “So you were holding your breath the whole time?”

Brandi nodded, “Those yoga classes have really opened up a lot of new possibilities to explore. The other day I lowered my respiration to one breath every ten minutes. So I figured if I could get into that state and take a really deep breath I should be able to hold my breath a long time.”

“That’s very interesting love, but what good is it really? I mean if you are as helpless as you get in Zen sleep, what can it do for you?”

“Well for one thing if I ever get buried alive it could be useful,” Brandi offered. “I am pretty sure though with more practice I’ll be able to control my bodily functions while still being able to move. I just need to learn to put one part of my mind into that state, while the other parts remain active.”

“Like you can when you lower your pain threshold?”

“Exactly,” Brandi said. She still had not told Melissa exactly how her pain management ability worked. “It’s all a matter of training, not just my body but the nanocyborgs in me. I think they start out with some basic functions, but are capable of doing much more.”

“It is amazing, everyday you seem to grow,” Melissa said, then started laughing. “I’ll never forget the look on those guys’ faces at Muscle Beach last weekend when you bench pressed two hundred pounds.”

“Imagine what they would have looked like if I’d really decided to show off,” Brandi grinned. “In the lab I benched over six hundred, and I lifted nearly a thousand in the squat. As Brandon I could never come close to that, not even at my peak.”

“My girlfriend is Buffy the Vampire Slayer on steroids,” Melissa giggled.

“Actually none of that is superhuman,” Brandi told her. “There are weight lifters that can lift that much. Of course they are all men and are huge, but my strength is not outside human capabilities.”

“Well it’s still pretty cool,” Melissa said. “I get that thing women are supposed to long for; a pair of strong arms to hold me, all wrapped up in a cute, sexy, cuddly girl package.”

“That’s funny,” Brandi said. “When I’m in your arms I don’t feel strong, but I do feel safe. Right now, I feel protected by your strength.”

“You do tend to be a bit submissive when it comes to making love,” Melissa said. “Probably you’re supposed to be that way, but I think it’s mostly because you’re never more vulnerable than when you open yourself to someone else, and making love is the most open two people can get. I also think that maybe it’s the one time you really feel comfortable as a girl.”

“Whatever,” Brandi smiled, snuggling close to Melissa. “I just know I could stay here with you holding me forever.”

“That may be but we have to meet Karen at Gary’s shop,” Melissa reminded her.

Brandi was out of the bed in a flash, pulling Melissa with her.

“That’s right, I forgot!” she exclaimed.

“Oh sure, stay in bed with me forever she says,” Melissa said in mock disgust as Brandi began hurriedly dressing. “But give her a chance to go blast some holes in paper targets and I am totally forgotten.”

Brandi grinned mischievously, “I’ll make it up to you tonight. Wait ‘till you see how hot I get after a session at the range.”

*****

Dear Mom,

It’s hard to believe over two months have passed since I made my escape. Living with the constant fear that they will find me is hard, but I have decided I have to get on with my life. I know it’s going to happen one day, but I try not to let it worry me too much.

I have some interesting news I’m sure you’ll want to hear ….

I’m in love! And what’s even better … she loves me too! I’m sure I don’t have to tell you but yes, it is Melissa.

I know there are all kinds of issues involved with this, not the least of which is the fact that I will likely live a long time and have to face watching her as the years take their toll, but I don’t care about that. What can my life be like if I allow those concerns to deny me happiness?

And I realize we have only known each other for a short time. I knew she was attracted to me from the start, but I wasn’t sure if it was just a sexual thing or if she really had feelings for me. It all kind of exploded today, and I do mean exploded. I’ll tell you about that later.

It really is mind blowing to think that the eleven year old girl I saved from drowning fourteen years ago is now this beautiful young woman that I am madly in love with. Where would I be without her? Melissa has helped me so much in becoming more comfortable as a girl. Hell if it wasn’t for her I’d be dressing, well, like a slut. I still dress sexy, I just can’t help it, but she at least keeps me under control. And it’s not just with fashion that she helps me. She corrects me when I start acting like a guy…I still have a tendency to come in and flop down on the couch with my legs splayed out and stuff like that. She has also helped me get my eating under control. I still take in calories like crazy, but she pointed out that since calories are just energy to me if I eat the right things regularly I don’t have to pig out at meals. I think chocolate may have been created for Genomorphs. Of course I have to keep that away from Melissa … she has a definite chocolate addiction and she can gain weight. I can’t wait until you can meet her.

I still have a lot of doubts and fears, not the least of which is the big M word. I’m not as afraid of it as I used to be, though now I have a new worry. If I give in to my urges to have sex with a man, I know I’ll feel horrible, like I am being unfaithful to Melissa. Oh well, one complication down and another pops up.

It kind of brings up a bit of confusion too. I mean, what am I? Am I really a lesbian now, since I’m in love with another woman? When it comes to sex, inside I still see myself as male, so being in love with Melissa feels like the most natural thing in the world. In everything else though, I look, act and even think like a woman now. It’s confusing, but I can see the wisdom in it. By setting the Genomorph program up so that it altered the subject to sexually accept both genders, the Forerunners left us free to decide for ourselves who we would love. In the end, that’s all that really matters. Being open to sex with a man was necessary for the primary mission of the Genomorph; to infiltrate a male dominated society and get close to the men in power, but we can still choose who we will care about.

I think if I were really to be truthful though, the thing about having sex with a man that frightens me the most…the thing about being female that frightens me the most…is the idea that I can bear children. That is something that nothing in my past experience can even begin to help me deal with. Yet even though it scares me, it excites me too…does that make sense? Logically, if the Forerunners had not wanted Genomorphs to reproduce, it would have been simple enough to make them incapable of bearing children. So the fact that the transformation made me fertile means that childbearing was probably something they desired. I wonder if I will desire it someday. Right now I can say for certain that when I look at a man, I am not evaluating them as a breeding partner, I am evaluating them as a sexual partner. That’s enough to deal with for now.

Well I have to go for now. I’ll write again soon. I love you.

Brandi