Genomorph

Chapter 27

CHAPTER 27

“A little tighter, Melissa, I can still breathe,” Brandi quipped as Melissa tightened the laces up the back of her white bustier top. “I don’t know why you won’t let me wear the one that laces in front.”

“Because I want you in something that will take a little work to get you out of,” Melissa said, giving the laces a final tug. “Just in case, you know.”

The bustier stopped an inch above Brandi’s navel, leaving plenty of skin exposed between it and the top of the matching skirt she wore. The bustier and skirt were trimmed in pink lace and the skirt had an asymmetric hemline that went from mid calf on her left leg to just above her right knee, with lacey pink fringe around the hem. Her legs were clad in sheer white stockings and she wore a pair of hot pink snake skin cowboy boots, with soft slouch uppers and two inch heels. As she stepped back, whirling for Melissa to see, she looked like an angel, albeit a very sexy, provocative angel.

“How do I look?” Brandi asked.

Melissa opened her mouth to speak, but for a moment the words would not come. Brandi looked at her and grinned.

“That good, huh?” she giggled.

“Brandi, you are the most gorgeous creature I have ever seen,” Melissa said at last. “I wish I had a cowboy hat for you, it would be perfect.”

Brandi grinned even more and slid into the closet. A moment later she stepped out wearing a pink snakeskin cowboy hat that matched her boots.

“You know, it’s hard to believe that a few weeks ago you wouldn’t wear anything but baggy shirts and pants,” Melissa said. “And your makeup is perfect, too.”

“Once I started dressing fem it was like a dam broke,” Brandi smiled. “I mean, I can look at myself in the mirror and know what a guy is going to think looking at me.”

“How do you feel about that?” Melissa asked.

“It’s still a little scary,” Brandi admitted, and then she smiled sexily, “Not so much tonight though.”

Melissa’s eyes drifted to the diamond stud that now adorned Brandi’s exposed navel and shook her head, “I still can’t believe you put that in yourself.”

“It only took three tries to get it just right,” Brandi grinned, making Melissa wince. “The first two times it was crooked and I had to pull it out and let it …”

“Stop!” Melissa pleaded. “And may I say … ewwww!”

“I’m only kidding sweetie,” Brandi told her, just to make her feel better. “And it really didn’t hurt at all. I just turned down my pain response for a few seconds. I did the same thing with my ears.”

“Well, that’s handy,” Melissa commented. “Now did you, um, work out your tensions today?”

“Three times,” Brandi grinned.

“Are you sure you’re up for this?” Melissa asked.

“I’m sure that you should, like, stop asking me that,” Brandi whined, and then she was smiling. “Now tell me I look pretty!”

“Pretty does not even begin to describe you, honey,” Melissa said with total honesty. “I know I’ve been being a pain, but I’m just so worried about you. You’re acting very bimbo like, and I just know if something happens you’re going to hate yourself in the morning.”

“I’ll be fine,” Brandi assured her. “You need to focus on the gig, and stop worrying about me. I have no intention of letting some guy get into my pants tonight.”

Melissa reached out and caressed her friend’s face gently and smiled, “Neither did I the first time, sweetie. That’s why I’m worried.”

An hour later they were at The Backbeat. It was a very upscale and popular club and they only selected the best bands to play there regularly. The music director had seen the band playing at another club and had been impressed enough to offer them a prime opening slot before the main band started. It was a Friday night so the crowd would be considerable.

Brandi stayed close to the girls until it was almost time for them to go out on the stage. Then she gave them each a hug and a kiss and made her way out into the club. She was right down in front as the band was introduced and the lights came up on the stage. The crowd reacted very enthusiastically, with a good number of wolf whistles and appreciative shouts. Karen was radiant in her black keyhole mini dress, fishnet stockings and calf boots. By the time they finished their first number, Heart’s ‘If Looks Could Kill’, the crowd was roaring and Brandi had a drink. Who it came from she was not sure, the waitress had pointed but there were about a dozen guys in the indicated area and all were looking at her and grinning.

“I could get used to this,” Brandi said with a grin.

The band started up another song and Brandi was bouncing with the beat when she felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned and saw a young man smiling down at her.

“You should be dancing,” he said, extending his hand. Brandi had already turned down several offers to dance but this time she smiled and took his hand, letting him lead her out onto the dance floor.

Brandon had never been much of a dancer, so Brandi at first watched what the other girls were doing and emulated them. Soon however she had the general idea and let herself go, gyrating sensuously with the upbeat rhythm.

“I’m Kurt,” her dance partner called over the music.

“Brandi,” she replied, smiling. “You’re awful cute, Kurt.”

Up on the stage Melissa looked to the table after the song was finished and saw that Brandi was gone. She tried not to be too concerned; there was nothing wrong with Brandi dancing, but she still had not returned by the time they started the next number.

Brandi was at a table with Kurt and his two friends, Dave and Sean. They were all handsome and well built. They attended USC and were apparently regulars at the club.

“I know I have never seen you here before,” Sean said, grinning wolfishly. Instead of feeling uncomfortable at his leering, Brandi relished in it.

“This is my first time here,” Brandi said. “My girlfriends are playing up there. I’m kinda, like, an honorary Bimbo!”

For the rest of the band’s first set Brandi was only stationary long enough to throw back the numerous drinks they kept buying for her. She never even considered the risk of coming back to the table and accepting a waiting drink from three guys she did not even know. Fortunately, they were not the type who would slip her something. She did not limit herself to dancing with just the three of them either.

“Man, Kurt, her eyes are all over you,” Dave said while she was out on the floor with Sean. “You have got to tap that tonight.”

Kurt smiled, “She seems really nice. Kinda dumb, but sweet, you know?”

Dave grinned, “That’s the best kind my man.”

In between sets Melissa went in search of Brandi. She found her at a table with Kurt and his friends, laughing and carrying on in a very animated fashion. As Melissa approached Kurt leaned over and whispered in Brandi’s ear and she began giggling.

“That sounds like fun, sweetie, but my friends have one more set to play,” Brandi told him. “It just, like, wouldn’t be right to bail on them.”

“Hi guys, could I borrow my friend for just a minute?” Melissa asked.

“Oh, boys, this is my best friend Melissa!” Brandi squealed. “She is, like, so awesome and she writes all the band’s songs, well, you know except, like, the ones that other people wrote.”

Melissa smiled as the guys told her how much they liked the band and thanked them as Brandi slipped out of the booth. Melissa led her a short distance away and looked at her intently.

“You’re drunk!” she exclaimed. She knew that Brandi could regulate her level of intoxication, and just as surely knew that she was not doing it now.

“Melissa, please!” Brandi pleaded. “For the first time in so long I’m havin’ fun. Please don’t be mad and don’t make me stop.”

“Would you stop if I asked you to?” Melissa wondered.

Brandi looked genuinely hurt as she said, “I’d do anything you asked me to. If you want me to go home right now I will.”

“No, sweetie, I don’t want that,” Melissa said, instantly sorry. The look of pain in Brandi’s eyes was more than she could stand. “I’m just worried it’s not you having fun; that it’s your programming making you act this way.”

“It’s not, I promise,” Brandi assured her. “I just decided to dip my toe in the water. I know I’m flirting outrageously and, yes, I let myself get a little tipsy, but I’ve got to know if I can handle myself.”

“All right, but could you do something for me?” Melissa relented. “Ask the guys to join you at the table up front. The club was nice enough to set it aside for us, and I’d feel better if I could see you.”

“I’ll do that right now!” Brandi giggled, and then kissed her on the cheek.

The last set went as well as the first, and Melissa was much more relaxed because she could see Brandi the whole time, at least for the brief times she was not dancing. She certainly did appear to be having fun with her admirers, and Melissa knew she should be happy, but she was very worried that Brandi was treading a very fine line.

After the set they retreated into the back, but quickly returned for an encore. There was no denying that the Post-Modern Bimbos had been a big hit. As they started backstage after the encore Melissa turned and saw that Brandi was heading towards them with a big smile. She breathed a sigh of relief and stepped through the door into the back room.

“Where’s Brandi?” Karen asked.

“She’s heading this way,” Melissa said with a smile.

Amber stuck her head out the door and looked around, then turned to the girls.

“I don’t see her anywhere,” she said.

“All right girls fan out and check every dark corner,” Melissa said. “Renee, take the parking lot. Dammit, I should have kept a closer eye on her.”

It was Renee who found her; actually the first thing she found was her bustier, lying on the pavement. Then she heard the moans coming from a short distance away. She managed to reach her, locked in a passionate embrace with Kurt behind his car, before she had shed any more clothes. She was too busy trying to get his pants unbuckled to worry about the rest of her clothes.

“Um, Brandi, are you sure you should be doing this, you know what the doctor said,” Renee admonished, hands on hips and a stern look on her face. “You don’t want to give this poor guy, you know .…”

“Wh … what?” Kurt stammered.

“Listen, sweetie, you two haven’t…you know…all ready, have you?” Renee continued. “’Cause if you have, I suggest you get to your doctor and get checked out first thing tomorrow. You, um, wouldn’t want anything to fall off would you?”

“We just kissed, I swear it!” He proclaimed.

“Well, you should be all right then,” Renee told him, not sounding at all certain. “At least I think you should ….”

Kurt could not get away fast enough, not even sparing a glance back as he ran. Renee chuckled as she watched him and then turned back to Brandi, who promptly grabbed her and kissed her firmly on the lips. Renee felt Brandi’s tongue dart into her mouth as she placed her hands on the blonde girl’s face and gently pushed her away.

Brandi’s eyes flew wide, suddenly realizing what she had done, and then she turned to run, but Renee grabbed her arm.

“Sweetie, you’re half naked,” Renee said as though nothing had happened. “Let’s get you laced back into this thing and we can meet the others around back.”

Melissa sighed with relief as she saw Brandi approaching, Renee walking beside her with her arm around her shoulder.

“What happened?” Melissa asked, worried.

“Nothing serious, just some major kissing,” Renee said, grinning. “Oh, she was half naked and kissing some guy too.”

“I’m such a pain in the ass, I’m sorry guys,” Brandi muttered.

“As long as you’re all right,” Cyndi said, and then turned to Renee, “Is she as good a kisser as she looks?”

“Much better,” Renee laughed, and even Brandi joined in.

“I’m sorry … I just lost it,” Brandi said. “If Renee hadn’t found me when she did ….”

“Don’t beat yourself up about it, honey,” Amber said. “I mean it’s not like I’ve never gotten wasted and woke up in some strange bed the next morning. I tell you the last one was a whole lot better looking when I was drunk. But when I woke up, it was a real coyote ugly moment.”

“Amber, that is not helping,” Karen said, and then turned to Brandi. “Everything really is ok, Brandi, we love you and we have your back. That’s what friends are for.”

“Brandi, have you considered taking yoga?” Renee asked. “Maybe learning some meditation techniques and exercises could help you find your center.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” Brandi admitted. She already knew that she could control her body in many ways. Perhaps learning how to meditate could help her.

Karen and Cyndi went inside to talk to the club’s music director, while Brandi and the others started packing up their equipment. They were just about finished when the two young women returned, their faces lit by big smiles.

“Well, they want us back,” Karen told them. “They want us to play Tuesday and Thursday nights every other week and are going to put us on the rotation as headliners for Friday and Saturday.”

“We should get a weekend every other month,” Cyndi said. “And, he’s going to put in a good word for us with some other mainstream clubs.”

The girls all began talking at once. It was a big deal for them, as even one weeknight slot at The Backbeat would pay more than two nights at the places they usually worked.

“We are going to have to sit down soon and decide how far we want to try and take this though,” Cyndi cautioned. “When we started this band, none of us were looking to make music a career, and we are a long way from that still. But we need to think things over really well.”

With the equipment packed up, they said good night and Karen told Melissa and Brandi that she was going home with Cyndi and Renee so they could talk for a bit. Brandi was very quiet, and did not notice that Melissa and Karen had stepped aside for a hushed conversation just before that.

She did not say a word on the drive back to Venice Beach. As soon as they got into the house, Brandi began crying and Melissa held her. She let her cry herself out, and for nearly a half hour Brandi’s body was wracked by sobs.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Melissa asked once Brandi had calmed down.

“Not really,” Brandi said, “but I think I need to.”

“I guess you weren’t as in control as you thought,” Melissa said as they sat down on the living room sofa.

“No, I was,” Brandi said. “That’s the whole problem. Before it’s always been like I was watching what was happening but I couldn’t make my body stop. It wasn’t like that this time.

“I was following you guys to the back and he asked me if I’d like to go somewhere a little quieter, and I said, ‘yes.’ My mind and my body were in total agreement. Well we didn’t get far out of the club and we were kissing, and I knew I should stop but I didn’t really want to. I will admit that all the emotion I was picking up from the people around me was having more of an effect than I told you. And I think maybe … well, I didn’t tell you but earlier today Dylan kissed me, and I kissed him back.”

“How did you feel about that?” Melissa asked.

“I liked it … a lot. And I wanted more, but I asked him to stop and he was very sweet about it.” Brandi said.

“Are you glad Renee stopped you?”

“God yes!” Brandi cried. “I wanted it … but I didn’t want it. I knew I should stop, and I knew I could stop, but I didn’t want to. I know that probably sounds weird.”

“No, it sounds just like a young woman overcome by passion,” Melissa said. “You know I may be into girls now, but that doesn’t mean I was never with a guy. And it happened just that way to me, I got caught up in the fun and the emotion … only I didn’t have any friends there to hose me down.”

“What was it like for you?” Brandi asked.

“It was actually very nice,” Melissa smiled. “Of course it was awkward too … we were only fifteen. And the next morning I felt like garbage, not because of what we had done but because I realized I didn’t feel anything for the boy. And to make matters worse, I decided that since I had slept with him I owed it to him to try and make a relationship work, even though I really knew I didn’t feel anything for guys. I had known it for a long time, but I was in major denial over my awakening sexuality.”

“But, once you accepted that you were a lesbian, you didn’t have to deal with lusting after guys anymore,” Brandi said. “No matter what I do, that will always be part of me.”

“Don’t be so sure it’s not part of me sweetie,” Melissa laughed. “I can still feel it when I see a good looking guy, especially if he’s a nice guy too. But it is different with me … I don’t have it hard wired into my brain, and I don’t have an artificially induced hyper sex drive.

“But I do understand the conflict you are feeling. There's still a part of you that sees yourself as a man, and that man was not attracted to other men. So you fight it, just like I fought my attraction to other girls. We all have programming that we sometimes find ourselves in conflict with. We get it from our family and society, from our friends and the media, and when we realize that it isn’t who we are we have to fight it.”

“I never thought of it that way,” Brandi admitted.

“Don’t get me wrong, though,” Melissa cautioned. “I’m not minimizing what you face in any way. I had to deal with programming from the way I was raised that told me it was wrong for me to be attracted to girls, but that was still programming I put there, and I could overcome. You may never be able to break free of what that machine put in you, but I believe you can come to terms with it.”

“I wish I believed that,” Brandi said.

“You have friends, and we are going to love you no matter what. We’ll get through this together.” Melissa said. “Now, let’s get you out of this bustier.”

Melissa followed Brandi into her room, watching the pretty blonde closely. It was obvious that Brandi was still tense; the incident with the guy in the parking lot had served only to heighten her desire and compound it with frustration. No doubt when Melissa left her alone, Brandi would seek the solace of her vibrator. But Melissa had no intention of leaving her alone tonight.

She knew it was a risk; that Brandi might feel betrayed by what she was about to do. But Melissa could not stand it any longer, could not bear to watch her friend in turmoil.

They sat on the edge of Brandi’s bed and Melissa thought it was fitting, almost poetic. It had once been her bed, and was the very place where she had lost her virginity. She thought back to that night; two fifteen year old kids lost to passion. They were fumbling and clumsy and despite all that when it was over she had felt a wonderful, satisfying glow. Then the glow had faded, and she looked at the sleeping boy and knew that she did not love him. Even more, she knew she would never love him or any other male. It had taken another two years for her to find the courage to come out, but she had never looked back since then.

“God, you’re so tense, Brandi,” Melissa said as she began gently massaging the muscles of her friend’s neck and shoulders. She could feel Brandi trembling, almost twitching with tension. “I wouldn’t have thought you could get like this.”

“Oh, I can,” Brandi mumbled dreamily. “That feels wonderful.”

Melissa stopped the massage, eliciting a whimper of protest from Brandi, and began slowly unlacing her bustier. Once she had it removed, she laid it on the cedar chest at the foot of the bed and resumed the massage. Brandi’s head sagged back and she began breathing a bit heavier.

Melissa took a deep breath and slipped her hands down along Brandi’s arms, stroking them softly. Then she slipped them under her arms and began gently massaging Brandi’s breasts. Almost since the moment they had met she had longed to know what they would feel like, and she was pleased that the sensation was just as she had imagined; they were firm yet soft to the touch. The skin was smooth and perfect and as her fingers reached the nipples Brandi let out a long, soft moan of pleasure.

Suddenly, Brandi tensed and sprang up from the bed, her right arm coming up to cover her breasts as she turned to stare at Melissa.

“Melissa, no, not like this!” she pleaded as she backed away, her eyes wide with fear.

“Not like what, Brandi?” Melissa asked gently as she rose and stepped towards her. There was no turning back now. “Not when it’s the very thing you need so you don’t lose your mind?”

Brandi stopped as she backed against the opposite wall and she began trembling. She looked so lost and frightened, and Melissa almost relented and left the room. But it was too late for that, and to leave Brandi now could irreparably damage their friendship. Instead she reached out and took Brandi’s hand, pulling her arm away from her breasts and drawing her back to the bed. She turned her so that her back was to the bed and then touched her breasts gently, lovingly. Then she brushed Brandi’s hair aside and began kissing her shoulder, working her way up to her neck.

“Melissa…” Brandi pleaded.

“Shhh, it’s all right, sweetheart,” Melissa whispered as she kissed Brandi’s neck. Her touch was driving Brandi to heights she had never known were possible.

“I know you have some notion about wanting it to be right, perfect. Well, that may never happen,” Melissa said. “But, you need this. It wasn’t just the crowd tonight, was it? It wasn’t the kiss from Dylan either. The vibrator isn’t enough anymore.”

Tentatively Brandi slipped her arms around Melissa’s waist, her eyes closing as Melissa fondled her breasts once again. Her nipples were engorged and hard and the sensation was gloriously excruciating.

“No, it’s not,” she admitted breathlessly, her lips seeking Melissa’s, her resistance melting.

“That’s because you need the touch of a lover,” Melissa whispered. “And we can be that, even if we find out later that this isn’t really love. To be honest I don’t know myself; I’ve never been in love before really.”

Melissa cupped Brandi’s chin in her hand and tilted her head down slightly so she could look into her eyes.

“But, I know I have never felt for anyone what I feel for you,” she told her. “If it is love, we’ll know soon enough. And if it’s not, we’ll know that too. No matter what, I will always be your friend, and right now my friend needs me. I want to be with you, Brandi, and you need to be with someone. Let it be me … let me help you.”

Brandi bit her lip and nodded her head slowly, allowing Melissa to lower her gently to the bed. With the help of her friend, she took the next glorious step in her journey.

End of Part 3