Marv's Mind

Beans and Bitches!

I’m not sure what word best describes my behavior yesterday. I made a nice pork tenderloin, fresh veggies, mac and cheese (for the kids) and beans for yesterday’s lunch. I was a bit pissy that the entire meal was ready except for the freaking meat. It needed more time. I had to warm various side dishes while waiting for the fucking meat.

Once we sat down at the table…I lost it. I started bitching and yelling about the same rule! You have to try a couple bites of everything. Why, you ask? Because that’s how it was for me and that’s how it’s going be for you. If I’m going to all the trouble of cooking a freaking meal then you damn well better cram that shit down your throat and look like your enjoying it. If you want to complain about what the fuck is being served then bring your ass to the kitchen and cook something your damn self.

I absolutely hate cooking. I find no pleasure or satisfaction in it at all. It’s not fun, it’s not rewarding and it ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. It’s a burden! It’s a time consuming pain in the ass that takes a lot of timing skills. I feel guilty about not cooking every night but I fucking hate it. I should cook more. I should be more like my mom. She loves to cook and bake. She tried to mold me but for some reason either the mold broke or it just didn’t fit. Sorry Mom! I tried.

Anyway….

Not sure if you want to call my behavior a breakdown, a meltdown, a hissy fit or just an all out losing of the mind but damn it was one to remember. Needless to say I had to apologize to each and every family member after I had a chance to cool off. I was an asshole. That’s my own word used to describe my behavior.

I tried to recall the day’s events to see what could have triggered that sort of behavior. Was it the brief conversation I had about Zach pissing away his money on bullshit and not saving? Was it the same’ol time management speech I had to give to Steph? Was it the comments made about Zach’s deadbeat mom? Was it the fact that Zach said he wasn’t going to eat any beans? Is it the fact that I was a slave to the kitchen for an hour? Or was it the fact that I opened the mail to find out that Zoo slacked off on paying one of the bills and now a double payment must be made? YEP! That’s it. Now “slacked off” is the term I’m using but Zoo uses some other term. He tells me not to worry about the bills and that I shouldn’t open the mail cuz I will freak the fuck out. Obviously!

-Marv-