Lizzie

Sunny October and Falling for Greg

Being sixteen is hell. End of. It's not this giant deal like everybody makes it out to be. It's awful. The pressure is unbelievable. In fact, it was too much for me and I cracked. Had I got through the whole fiasco I'm sure I would have looked back when I was in my forties and reminisced about time gone by. But I didn't make it through. Because the pressure got too much. Call me a coward if you will, but in my eyes everything's better this way. It's been 5 long months and everyone is handling the situation amazingly. Everyone's a lot happier than they used to be. Especially me.

It all started just after the summer holidays. I'd just gone into Year 11 at Park Rise and I was living life like I'd never lived before. I had more freedom, I had the best friends ever and a great outlook on life. But that all changed within three weeks of being back. Because I got a crush...

On none other than one of my good male friends Greg Richards. In all honesty he *wasn't* the most handsome boy in the world, but his personality was did more than enough to remedy that. He had this way of making me smile even when I was feeling completely down in the dumps. And he had the most infuriating sense of humour, which at times it seemed only I could understand.
And that made me feel, well, special I suppose. Because we were close. I'd been the shoulder to cry on when his previous girlfriend cheated on him, I was the one he turned to when he had trouble at home or when the 'chav army of Park Rise' took it upon themselves to beat him up. I was the one who had the quirky little conversations during form time with him. He always sat with me. We were great friends. And I wanted it to go further.

Crushes have a funny way of creeping up on you. You don't realise until the most innappropriate moments that you *really* like somebody. I don't remember the exact moment I fell for Greg, I just remember blushing when he spoke to me and recruiting (rather stupidly) one of my friends Nicole to find out 'if he liked me back'.

Walking to school the Tuesday after she'd spoken to him was the most sickening nervous feeling I had ever felt up until that moment. I felt physicaly sick all the way there. And then when I saw her standing at the gates ready to tell me, well, my heart sank. She wasn't jumping about with excitement. Quite the opposite. She looked sombre and took me to one side to tell me 'he didn't give her a straight answer.' Hmm.

The rest of the week was reasonable I suppose, when I suddenly had a complete brainwave and invited my friend Leanne swimming- and I made sure I invited Greg and her crush, Malcolm, too.
It was the best Saturday ever. After spending an amazing day, just the four of us me and Greg walked home together and that's when he told me that Nicole had been telling him all week that I liked him and was she being serious. He left with a cheeky grin and a wink after I asked him 'What would happen if I was?'
And that was the set up for the disasterous week ahead.

If I was to give any advice it would be *never* trust text messages. Man I wish I hadn't.

The Tuesday after we'd swum I got a message from him. Just a general friendly message, something like 'hi, how are you' or something. But it soon escalated and we were basically flirting over the phone. And that's when it happened. At about 11.55pm he asked me what I thought about us going out. I was ecstatic. To say the least. I replied 'That would be nice' and settled down for some sleep.
The next day however I found myself being completely ignored. I was annoyed and confused but figured there must be a reason and went about my day as usual. And that night I got more messages. 'I'm sorry about today, it was really awkward. Love you Greg'.
The next day wasn't too bad, but again he hadn't shown me any affection more than friendship and it was bugging my friends as well as me. So they got involved. They probed him, they yelled at him, all without my knowledge.
It wasn't until the Friday that everything started going wrong. He pulled Leanne and Nicole to one side that morning and told them something which I wasn't to find out until later on. When I asked Nicole she replied 'he's going to ask you out officially today'. So I spent the morning in hope. But by lunchtime I knew I had to sort it myself and in form I asked him if we could talk. I began my conversation- what with me being completely paranoid- 'Greg, before I go on, tell me, has this whole thing been a joke?'

And the nod that followed sparked the biggest problem my life had ever seen...