The ups and downs of being single in your 30's...early 30's that is. |
I've been writing on average two to three letters a week to my friend in jail. Yes, I know...what can I say, I talk a lot!! Oh, on a side note, I've figured out why I have always been a good pen pal...writing letters is my escape, like some people and their books! When I write no one interrupts me or shows their lack of interest in what I am saying. I can speak as freely as I'd like without being judged and ramble on forever, which we all know I've done at least once or twice! Okay, back to the purpose of this entry. In my letters I respond to what his letter had said, but I also through whatever else is in my head at the time. Needless to say we've talked about everything from the socks he's forced to wear that he hates, to the Bible, to ice cream to sex and everything in-between. Two letters ago, he had written about how his relationship with his son has grown a lot of distance because his ex-girlfriend had gotten back together with a guy that doesn't like him, which causes issues for my friend and his ex, and her solution is to stay away and keep her son away. It sucks, but he's been dealing with it for a while now so it has gotten a little easier. Now with his current situation he is doubting she will let him see his son at all. Then he started talking about how he would really like to have more kids, but after he gets out he feels it will be difficult enough to find someone to be his friend let alone to find someone to be in a relationship with or have children with. This got me to thinking...I have always considered the possibility of using a donor if I cannot find someone to be in a relationship with. So in my letter back to him I told him about that. He just replied and said he'd be more than happy and willing to be a donor, but that he would not be able to donate and run...he'd have to be a part of the kids life, which I knew he would. Then he told me he'd kick my butt for teasing him like that. The more I sit here and think about it, the more I wonder why it would be a bad idea?! Okay, brief history of my friend and I. I first met him in 9th grade, but thought he was weird because he talked about playing hide-n-go seek with a friend in a funeral home. Who goes there willingly?! Although I found out later that is where his friend lived. Still creeps me out! I don't remember him in high school at all, different classes and groups I guess. Then in my senior year or right after, he became friends with my brother. Which I also found out later he almost refused to hang out with my brother because of me...he thought I was the biggest bitch and stuck on myself. Yet another incident of my shyness getting me in trouble! We never talked when he came over...he would get my brother and head outside right away. Whatever! Then when Matt was 18, he got a group together to go to a bar in Detroit that he could get into since he was leaving for bootcamp in a few weeks. It was the first time I could go to the bar with my brother so I wasn't letting his friend that hated me stop me from going. While there his friend got a little drunk and we started talking. Back then he thought it was hilarious to find a group of people, walk up to them and ask for Bob. He had a theory that you could always find a Bob. From that day on I have called him Bob...no, that isn't even close to his real name! Later that year we ended up dating for a couple months. I really liked him a lot, but things ended. He thought it was too awkward dating his best friends sister when we still lived together...keep in mind we were 22 at the time...dumb guys!! Since then we have remained good friends. He is someone I have always been able to rely on...no matter what the issue. There are times we'd go a few months without seeing each other, but then go weeks talking multiple times each week. There was even conversation of us being "friends with benefits" at one point, but I feared it would screw up our friendship and knowing he is Matt's best friend I stopped myself. So, back to my question...is it that bad of an idea?? I told him no one knows what the future holds, but it is a possibility I wouldn't forget. I mean, if I'm married then obviously it won't happen. However, if I am still single with no potentials insight when he gets out...hmmm, could happen...maybe!! |